Venting Among the living

[Hayalet]

People say parents that commit suicide are selfish. That's not true. I love my kids. I'm trying my best to deal with the cards I'm dealt with. I'm 29 years old and I've been with depression and anxiety since age eight. Medication takes away from who I am. Alcohol abolishes my personality. Weed helps but I over medicate. I cant keep a job, I cant survive without out one. So, I'm always changing it up. How is wanting to die because I can't get rid of all this pain selfish? I know I'd be leaving them behind. I want to wait until they are 18 or at least stable. But I cant go on much longer. I hope I've raised them right. I hope they turn out to be great. They are great.... I'm just not. I want the pain to go away

 

[JimFord99]

Yeah, it is the pain, and I am not talking about the physical pain. I agree with you that alcohol changes your personality. It has changed mine. Getting rid of the pain is selfish? No, I don't think so. There is a point in life where it is about you only, nothing and nobody else.

 

[pole]

Yeah, it is the pain, and I am not talking about the physical pain. I agree with you that alcohol changes your personality. It has changed mine. Getting rid of the pain is selfish? No, I don't think so. There is a point in life where it is about you only, nothing and nobody else.

so sorry about what you have and are going through. and you're kids are definitely great, and will be great. it just sucks sometimes, cause sometimes its hard to grow up without a mother/father figure in ur life, and the trauma of it kind of sticks to some more than others. thats from my own experience personally.

but i agree, suicide isnt selfish by any means. i was talking about suicide to one of my best friends, and out of the blue, he called anyone who had committed suicide selfish, and taking the easy way out.. while i was right there just thinking about suicide actively lol. it made me feel pretty shitty honestly.

at the end of the day, we come into this world alone, and we die in this world alone.

 

[JimFord99]

Indeed, we live alone and we die alone.

 

[Beautifulletdown]

Indeed, we live alone and we die alone.

I was just thinking this very thing recently.