Venting Am is the asshole for distancing myself to my friend after they said this

[angelhopes]

3 weeks ago, I talked to my friend about wanting to text my ex again. Well im not gonna do it but I just feel like it in the moment. They got annoyed at me and they said this: "Well that guy literally used you. You know that right? So why the hell do you want to text him back when he literally used you. He doesnt care about u"

After they said that something just triggered in me and it made me feel so shitty that I stopped opening up to them after that and I kinda just distanced myself from them.

 

[whatsleftover]

they're being blunt but they're looking out for you.

 

[SighCry]

3 weeks ago, I talked to my friend about wanting to text my ex again. Well im not gonna do it but I just feel like it in the moment. They got annoyed at me and they said this: "Well that guy literally used you. You know that right? So why the hell do you want to text him back when he literally used you. He doesnt care about u"

After they said that something just triggered in me and it made me feel so shitty that I stopped opening up to them after that and I kinda just distanced myself from them.

No you're not an asshole at all. It would have been a kinder thing to ask why you want to text them again. So why do you want to text them? At the same time it's not uncommon for friends to be really protective of their friends after they've been hurt by a partner, they could be really angry that this person treated you that way and doesn't want you going back there or doesn't understand the desire to connect. But the delivery and the way it was said was still very blunt and I can see why it was hurtful. It would have been better for them to voice their concerns in a gentler way. If this is the first time they've triggered you it could be worthwhile having a conversation about it and seeing if it can be resolved. Wishing you the best

 

[iwkmsssb]

you're not an asshole for that, you were just very hurt. friend could've been more gentle with you but it's understandable as well that people will get sick of something that's been brought up over and over, and it's also something you obviously shouldn't do. but some people don't understand the pain of losing that familiarity and they may come off as hurtful more than helpful. they're looking out for you and i think from their perspective they were just trying to "snap you out of it". but what can you do besides talk about it? you should be able to without judgement, you're not at fault here.

 

[SarahThrowsGin]

I would probably have distanced myself as well, as the message was delivered in condescending manner. At the same time, they probably did believe in what they said, for them the situation just seems clearcut, the thought "reaching back to ex" may be unthinkable to them even if they were in your shoes. Although sometimes people's experience causes them to rethink their earlier ideas, and in some other, rather unfortunate, cases, people may have ulterior motives as in vested interest in you not communicating with certain people.

Also, it is totally legitimate for you not to want to open up to them like that anymore. They may be still suitable to communicate with in other situations (that is for you to decide), but perhaps not for emotional support.

 

[Wojaczek]

this really depends on if your friend is constantly like this whenever you mention personal problems

 

[burninghill]

they're being blunt but they're looking out for you.

Agree