Venting am i going to continue to live?

[qwert3948]

i just want to stop being a hassle, but i don't even know if dying or not would be better. the only thing i'm holding onto is my cats, i usually don't care about after-suicide consequences but my cats don't deserve to be abandoned.

i'm so fucking tired and sad. i'm doing my best to stay alive but it's not enough if i can't be a functional person

 

[myself judge]

My heart is so sad that I don't know what's the point of my life.

Since I had the idea of suicide, I feel more and more that suicide is not an easy thing, but it is not so unacceptable.

 

[amerie]

You don't always need to live for yourself. Thinking of others, like your cat* can be helpful. I think that when we're suicidal we can sometimes think of ourselves to an unhealthy degree and it can be healing to focus and pour our energy into something else like a hobby or family.

Edit: someone remind me to check my messages before posting

 

[starinthesky]

I understand, when my cat was alive he was the only reason for me not to CTB. He could save my day at times. I hope your cats can do the same

 

[qwert3948]

You don't always need to live for yourself. Thinking of others, like your vag can be helpful. I think that when we're suicidal we can sometimes think of ourselves to an unhealthy degree and it can be healing to focus and pour our energy into something else like a hobby or family.

i've tried to do that, but living for my family is really hard because they're not exactly reasonable at times. i have been very passionate about art before, but it's not something i can dedicate myself fully to without structuring a whole life around it first..

in the end, i just wonder if any of those things is worth living for anyway. i feel like no matter what happens i will never actually want to be alive