I

inairukab147qwe

Member
Jan 2, 2020
20
I'm thinking about killing myself 24/7.

She was 40 and he was 42, everyone around them had kids, so they thought hmm, we should have a kid too, because we need to feel like a real family, so what if we are poor? What if we don't have a job? What if it's crazy bad situation in our country? Crazy bad like people starving to death. Let's have a kid, without thinking. And now I'm here male, 25, short, bald, small male part, erectile dysfunction, father died when I was 2, crazy control freak mother, bad parenting, went to school where girls and boys are in different classes, so I have a lot of anxieties with women, I'm depressed, but don't have money to see a therapist, left the job I loved to work in a field that I hate to get more money to take care of my 65 year old mother. There was 0 luck in my life. I can't enjoy anything anymore and it's getting harder and harder to get up everyday.Nitrogen exit bag sounds a good way for me. Am I just having this delusional thoughts and making it over dramatic, I don't even know anymore, sometimes I think this can't be happening to me, but there is no escape from reality. Life just gave me nothing, this is not a "gift of god", I don't want that kind of gift, please, I don't want it.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
I'm sorry you're suffering. Are you still working in the field you hate? Is there any way to take some time off? Have you talked with a doctor or therapist about how you're feeling?
 
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Flume

Flume

Villain
Oct 28, 2019
300
I fucking hate breathing being alive and having thoughts you are not alone.
 
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SativaKherifa

SativaKherifa

Member
Dec 20, 2019
20
I'm sorry to hear that. Life will never be fair and luckily you're on a board with people who are on the same boat.
 
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MysticPerception

MysticPerception

I'm back and I'll still smile for you
Dec 31, 2019
1,252
It's perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed and stressed like that. Just a bit of advice though if you really do want help there are free therapists depending on where you live. I'm not saying they'll be able to magically solve your problems but if you really want someone to talk to there might be someone available for you.
 
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CarefulWithThatAxe

Experienced
Nov 7, 2019
296
You are not alone I think about killing myself 24/7 to it's the first thing that enters my mind when I wake up and the last thing when I go to bed
once I beat the dreaded SI I'm out of here.
 
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Verklempt

Member
Dec 30, 2019
86
you are not the only one who's feelings this. killing my self had been on my mind for years. i don't have money for therapy as well.
 
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inairukab147qwe

Member
Jan 2, 2020
20
Thank you all for your comments.
 
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