We've spoken at length BA both publically here on the forum and in private and I don't think that there is a domain those conversations have yet to span. I'm afraid that I must phrase this with far less eloquence than some of the more learned posters above, but as we've previously talked about, your self-criticism is sometimes so wounding that it becomes a form of self-harm; to be deployed whenever someone compliments or praises you as if it were a necessity to restore the balance of light and dark; to recast the shadow of negativity in which you compel yourself to live.
Be that as it may, I have not shied away from offering you praise and commendation when I've felt it justified, particularly in the way you have handled certain tough situations and demonstrated commendable strength in attending therapy sessions, despite your misgivings; nor have I cowed to sycophantism, I've challenged you on your thinking about various things, and I appreciate that you have done the same for me, albeit qualified by apologies characteristic of the lack of value you often give to your own thoughts and opinions.
With that said then, I hope you will know that I am being both heartfelt and honest when I reassure you that I have never thought you post too frequently; or that your posts were too emotional, on the contrary, I delight in your willingness to express yourself with such candour, a vanishing quality in our increasingly censorious society. I think it is a mark of great strength that you are able to reflect upon your thought processes and emotions in the way that you have done above in response to
@GoodPersonEffed; a vital skill that I firmly believe underpins both rational decisionmaking in suicide and more importantly, recovery - truly, it gives me great pride to see how you have kept that avenue open throughout your darkest weeks.
When you read this BA, I hope you will do so without the temptation to imply an ulterior motive; be it cowardice; politeness; ignorance; naivete, or any other dismissal your self-doubt may conjure. I appreciate your posts and I appreciate our chats.
If you must post for someone, it should be for yourself; but do so with the knowledge that your thoughts are appreciated and valued regardless of the anxious prose and self-deprecation I think we may all be guilty of from time to time. Despite the odd spiteful reply from the ignorant minority, I hope you will take heart from the replies to this thread and continue to furnish us with your thoughts and insights whenever they strike you.
Big hugs