screaming rain
a hidden face
- May 18, 2024
- 3
I am 18 years old about to turn 19 and haven't done one thing that has made me proud of myself. This is me just letting it out. So I apologize if my story jumps around.
I have never been good at school and currently don't have a diploma. I have always created problems in school. I was never focused on the work at hand. I was constantly getting into fights and doing stupid things. I switched over to homeschooling in 2022 and still haven't finished highschool. I mean I have to go test tomorrow and I have nothing to present. All I do is sleep. I have no job. No life outside of my room or online. I have no motivation to live.
Before this past year, I used to work for an animal rescue group. It was okay till the woman would mentally abuse me. She would aslo be neglect full of the animals and one day I had to carry two dead, malnorished dogs out of their kennels and bag them up while she was on a date with her boyfriend. After that I decided to put the weight of their lifes on my shoulders. It was to the point where I would be staying nights there. Not to mention it was 70+ animals I had to care for. I ended up getting into an arguement with her boyfriend and lost the job. Afterwards I sank. I was constitantly worried about animals but now I struggle to work around them. I have lost my motivation for work.
It is now coming up on a year after this all and the animals are flooding my head again. I am struggling to work.
Somedays I wish my parents would just kick me out of the house. I feel so useless but can't be bothered to get up. I cast myself out of family events. I spend so much time in my room away, my parents forget I am here at times. I just wish there was a way for me to not exist anymore without hurting anyone.
I apologize again for the randomness of the paragraphs. I am typing this out with a half awake brain. Theres more but I just cant get my thoughts straight.
Thank you for listening whoever reads this.
I have never been good at school and currently don't have a diploma. I have always created problems in school. I was never focused on the work at hand. I was constantly getting into fights and doing stupid things. I switched over to homeschooling in 2022 and still haven't finished highschool. I mean I have to go test tomorrow and I have nothing to present. All I do is sleep. I have no job. No life outside of my room or online. I have no motivation to live.
Before this past year, I used to work for an animal rescue group. It was okay till the woman would mentally abuse me. She would aslo be neglect full of the animals and one day I had to carry two dead, malnorished dogs out of their kennels and bag them up while she was on a date with her boyfriend. After that I decided to put the weight of their lifes on my shoulders. It was to the point where I would be staying nights there. Not to mention it was 70+ animals I had to care for. I ended up getting into an arguement with her boyfriend and lost the job. Afterwards I sank. I was constitantly worried about animals but now I struggle to work around them. I have lost my motivation for work.
It is now coming up on a year after this all and the animals are flooding my head again. I am struggling to work.
Somedays I wish my parents would just kick me out of the house. I feel so useless but can't be bothered to get up. I cast myself out of family events. I spend so much time in my room away, my parents forget I am here at times. I just wish there was a way for me to not exist anymore without hurting anyone.
I apologize again for the randomness of the paragraphs. I am typing this out with a half awake brain. Theres more but I just cant get my thoughts straight.
Thank you for listening whoever reads this.
