Venting Am I a masochist for that?

[ilikecats]

I been depressed for a long time and now that I feel better I miss the pain . I just want to feel bad again go back to suicide . I told this to someone and they said that I might be a masochist but idk . Now that I think about it self harm also brought me pleasure. I like Seeing the blood on my arm . am I weird to think that?

 

[TransMagical]

Im not sure if thats a masochist (i mean prob not unless it makes you horny as usually when referring to a masochist, it means someone who sexual pleasure from there own pain)


But I mean in weirder, so uh dont feel like your the weirdest.

 

[SamTam33]

I think I understand where you're coming from. When I'm content I can barely stand it.

It's not that I want to feel the pain, but I know it's lurking just around the corner. I'd rather it jumped out of its hiding spot sooner rather than later.

Anticipating when it'll come back is the worst. Just come back already and let me deal with it.

 

[SunnysSunset]

Not sure if it's masochist or not but I relate. Feeling happy is so foreign and scary to me, it's a lot more comforting to be in a depressed and suicidal mindset instead. Even if it hurts a lot, at least I know what to expect. I guess since I've been feeling this way for so long I've learned to find comfort in it? I dunno. Self harm makes me happy too. I don't get much physical pleasure from it aside from the brief rush at first, but I really like seeing the blood because it makes me feel like I've done something right. Idk how to put it but I feel validated seeing it.

 

[Tarucest]

I been depressed for a long time and now that I feel better I miss the pain . I just want to feel bad again go back to suicide . I told this to someone and they said that I might be a masochist but idk . Now that I think about it self harm also brought me pleasure. I like Seeing the blood on my arm . am I weird to think that?

nope, when you're used to something and it goes away, a part of you misses it. You found comfort in your depression and now that it's temporarily over you don't know what to do with your newfound happiness. Its not masochism just human nature

 

[pole]

it could be.

i don't find pleasure in physically self-harming myself per se, but i love feeling emotional pain and will purposely seek out negative situations or complicated relationships that will repeatedly damage my self-esteem and hurt me.

emotional masochism or self-defeating personality disorder was also a proposed mental condition back in the 1980s, but the behaviors tend to overlap other personality disorders.

i personally like to engage in self-defeating behaviour to put myself down and through that, love that feeling of emotional harm.

perhaps it's something that you do as well.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

Being a masochist is not so bad, there are many of them, they are not so loud . From a morally point of view it´s better than being a sadist.

At least a masochist will probably not commit suicide, because death would end all pain unless there is a hell like the one Hieronymus Bosch painted.