Always the weird one out: Single

[Water-Lily]

To say my day was rough was an understatement

I had a brain fog for most of the day

Dissociating from my feelings of worthlessness, shame, and suicidality

When I feel bad, I tend to go inwards. I become meek and quiet, putting up a wall that can be felt by everyone. Being sensitive…has its problems

After eating a BLT and fries with water, I did some walking to help with digestion. Something I try to do daily

Afterwards I went back to see if the smash bros tournament was finished. But it was still going. Not wanting to stay around for friendlies, I decide to go back to the nearby comic book store I normally hangout at

I saw my friend, and his gf. I initially felt bad, like she'd feel off I was friendly with her guy. But it turned out ok

She was friendly and introduced me to another one of her friends (who is in a relationship with one of the guys friends)

So I was basically surrounded by two pairs of intimate relationships. Hugging, kissing, inside jokes, etc

It's funny.

I'm just…weird

25 with issues so bad, it's no wonder I've never had a bf. Not to mentioned they were all 4-5 years younger than me so, it hurts even more

I guess, it'll be a long time till I'll ever be with someone. Trauma isolates you and makes you too damaged for people

Guess I'm one of 'em

 

[Zegers]

your problem sounds more like feeling left out, a partner won't solve your issues, it's ok to have a partner and maybe it can help a bit but at the end of the day if you have issues, it's not enough.

 

[Water-Lily]

your problem sounds more like feeling left out, a partner won't solve your issues, it's ok to have a partner and maybe it can help a bit but at the end of the day if you have issues, it's not enough.

I know. Its why I am not actively trying to rush into anything rn (heck I deleted all my dating apps a few months ago)

I also know getting into a relationship will not make me feel any better than I am now. If ia mn struggling now, I will struggle with a partner and that breeds toxic codependency which I dont want

I just feel left out, when everyone around me seems to be in love...

 

[sulli]

i'm on the other extreme end of the spectrum, where trauma led me to being in upwards of 20 relationships so far in my life (and then isolated me ). can confirm the grass is not always greener

 

[Water-Lily]

i'm on the other extreme end of the spectrum, where trauma led me to being in upwards of 20 relationships so far in my life (and then isolated me ). can confirm the grass is not always greener

*hugs*

I know that realistically, but when I see people seemingly happy together its hard not to think its perfect