Always "stop" never "why"

[dontleavemehanging]

Why is it that everytime I tell someone I want to ctb all they say is "Don't do it." Then they proceed to give meaningless reasons like religion, people around me, and my future. But they never ask why do I want to do it? Why do I feel this way? They pretend to care but all it does is make me feel more of a burden.

 

[violetforever]

great point. i wonder how much it is that people just dont care or just dont want to be in the position of talking someone out of suicide and potentially failing.

 

[TheCavernousDeep.]

Why is it that everytime I tell someone I want to ctb all they say is "Don't do it." Then they proceed to give meaningless reasons like religion, people around me, and my future. But they never ask why do I want to do it? Why do I feel this way? They pretend to care but all it does is make me feel more of a burden.

I agree with this sentiment a lot by the way. I think the correct response to this is always "why?" I think that's sort of an issue I have with this website broadly. Lots of people will post on hear asking for methods or saying they really want to die, and few people will even bother to ask why they're hurting. It's not like anyone here has an obligation to talk a person out of CTB, which I think "why" can sometimes seem like a prelude to, but I do think we should all strive to understand each other's pain. Or else, this isn't much of a community at all.

 

[Topaz111]

Most people don't care the way they claim to, they want to talk you out of it because they are afraid of being "responsible" for your death and it makes them uncomfortable to think about it or about what kind of suffering would bring a person to that point. Many people also say these vague, unhelpful sentences to make themselves feel like good people "I helped a mentally ill person! I am such a kind soul!" even if all they did was say "don't do it, it gets better!".
This issue also applies to any struggle people have in general; depression, addictions, self harm, EDs, any problem, people are so quick to tell you to stop or criticize you, but very very few think to ask you why you feel this way. Very few people are willing to sit in the discomfort with you and stare at the abyss to try to understand what you are going through.