annxietty
“Is there no way out of the mind?”
- Mar 27, 2023
- 180
Ive been alone for a long time, its been 10 years since ive had someone i could call a friend, ive had many things happening to me and no one I could talk to, but I never felt the loneliness I feel when Im sick. I feel vulnerable, in pain 24/7, and I cant talk with no one and no one really cares about how I feel...
I have a history with migraines, I once had to spend a whole week at the hospital due to an extremely bad migraine that left me unable to talk for hours, its been more than 10 years since that and now Im having migraines 24/7 again, of course im a bit scared and very anxious, I have to go to work and sometimes the pain reaches the extreme and I have to lay down. It started with some uncomfortable headaches but now has reached a worrying state... tomorrow im going to the doctor to see if they can help me... Ive talked about this with my mom and she says everyone is in pain, that I should be more resilient, endure more, that she is in pain too but doesnt go to the doctor... I go talk to my sister and she gets mad because instead of saying yes to everything she says and doing exactly what she tells me to do I try to talk about my theory on why Im in this pain and what I think I should do... she yells at me, tells me to do whatever the fuck I want, that she doesnt care, and that she is not my mom and not to bother her... I havent talked to my dad but honestly fuck them all, I must be a fucking kid, a weak person, a stupid human, because... I would love a hug, an ear to hear about the things Im worried about, a shoulder to cry... It looks like its all my fault for not going to the doctor when I had my first headache, its my fault for being weak, for having anxiety for having agoraphobia...
Im reaching my limit, omg what a fucking shitty life, we are supposed to just endure, keep walking, everything is gonna be alright! They not understanding is not the biggest issue, is the fact they dont even try to understand, the fact that they think they know and we dont...
I have a history with migraines, I once had to spend a whole week at the hospital due to an extremely bad migraine that left me unable to talk for hours, its been more than 10 years since that and now Im having migraines 24/7 again, of course im a bit scared and very anxious, I have to go to work and sometimes the pain reaches the extreme and I have to lay down. It started with some uncomfortable headaches but now has reached a worrying state... tomorrow im going to the doctor to see if they can help me... Ive talked about this with my mom and she says everyone is in pain, that I should be more resilient, endure more, that she is in pain too but doesnt go to the doctor... I go talk to my sister and she gets mad because instead of saying yes to everything she says and doing exactly what she tells me to do I try to talk about my theory on why Im in this pain and what I think I should do... she yells at me, tells me to do whatever the fuck I want, that she doesnt care, and that she is not my mom and not to bother her... I havent talked to my dad but honestly fuck them all, I must be a fucking kid, a weak person, a stupid human, because... I would love a hug, an ear to hear about the things Im worried about, a shoulder to cry... It looks like its all my fault for not going to the doctor when I had my first headache, its my fault for being weak, for having anxiety for having agoraphobia...
Im reaching my limit, omg what a fucking shitty life, we are supposed to just endure, keep walking, everything is gonna be alright! They not understanding is not the biggest issue, is the fact they dont even try to understand, the fact that they think they know and we dont...
