Alone at home

[deletednumber]

I'm almost never alone at home, I'm always under the control of my family, but today ... in an hour i will be alone for all the afternoon.
The only point of the house where i could suicide are the stairs with full hanging or partial hanging,maybe it will work.I have found this method difficult and unsuccessful for me in the past but I am really desperate, I would like to try again ... I want to get hurt, I feel too bad

 

[FuneralCry]

Hanging sounds like such an awful way to leave this world to me and of course there is the fear of failure which is what scares me. But after all many have succeeded, I always envy them. I do understand that it's hard to carry on existing when you feel so desperate and it really can be so tiring feeling trapped in a life that is just constant suffering. If this is what you do decide then I wish you freedom.

 

[counting-out-time]

you could always get a hotel and stay to who you live with your going to a halloween party. That's what I'll be doing! death on halloween - couldn't be a better day to do it IMO

 

[deletednumber]

yeah...a family member stayed at home until now,but now that he went out i want still give it a try...i feel extremely bad:(

 

[Nikki2020]

yeah...a family member stayed at home until now,but now that he went out i want still give it a try...i feel extremely bad:(

what is making you feel bad? I'm sorry I have no advice. i tried partial hanging and it didn't work for me.

 

[Maudlin]

I'm almost never alone at home, I'm always under the control of my family, but today ... in an hour i will be alone for all the afternoon.
The only point of the house where i could suicide are the stairs with full hanging or partial hanging,maybe it will work.I have found this method difficult and unsuccessful for me in the past but I am really desperate, I would like to try again ... I want to get hurt, I feel too bad

I had a bad experience with that once, in a stairwell even. I don't recommend it.

 

[deletednumber]

what is making you feel bad? I'm sorry I have no advice. i tried partial hanging and it didn't work for me.

Thank you for asking really...lonliness can be extremely cruel,noone cares especially my family...i'm alone as i always have been my all life and depression is devouring my soul and bringing me to hurt myself until i kill myself...
I'm so sorry you are in pain too and you attempted partial...yeah it's hard and frustrating but i want keep trying because i'm desperate

I had a bad experience with that once, in a stairwell even. I don't recommend it.

May i ask you what happened?

 

[Nikki2020]

I wish you peace. Im sorry you are suffering. ❤

 

[Maudlin]

Thank you for asking really...lonliness can be extremely cruel,noone cares especially my family...i'm alone as i always have been my all life and depression is devouring my soul and bringing me to hurt myself until i kill myself...
I'm so sorry you are in pain too and you attempted partial...yeah it's hard and frustrating but i want keep trying because i'm desperate

May i ask you what happened?

In the house we lived in when I was 12 in my bedroom I shared a wall with the stairwell. There was a short walkway at the highest clearance point on the stairwell. My stepfather had torn out the lathe and plaster-work on each of those walls, so I basically had no interior walls for the years we lived in that house. I was young, I didn't know anything about construction, at the time.

I wasn't fond of the idea of asphyxiation, but I knew with a drop I might break my neck... quick, mostly painless, I thought. I measured from the crossmember 2x4 to the nearest stair, found I had about 16', thought it would be enough.

I tied off to the crossmember, put the slipknot loop snug around my neck, and jumped. The 2x4 busted loose where it was nailed in on one side, giving me just enough space to land hard on the step... but it wedged itself god, I'm laughin' right now remembering it-

It wedged itself in such a way that I had to remain standing, half-choking, with what felt like a busted ankle and a slipknot that wouldn't come off.

I played hell getting myself outta that fix. I was limping for a month. lol

Youth and stupidity all too often go together. They certainly did, with me.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

lonliness can be extremely cruel,

I understand how you feel. I feel very lonely most of the times :(

 

[deletednumber]

I wish you peace. Im sorry you are suffering. ❤

Thank you

In the house we lived in when I was 12 in my bedroom I shared a wall with the stairwell. There was a short walkway at the highest clearance point on the stairwell. My stepfather had torn out the lathe and plaster-work on each of those walls, so I basically had no interior walls for the years we lived in that house. I was young, I didn't know anything about construction, at the time.

I wasn't fond of the idea of asphyxiation, but I knew with a drop I might break my neck... quick, mostly painless, I thought. I measured from the crossmember 2x4 to the nearest stair, found I had about 16', thought it would be enough.

I tied off to the crossmember, put the slipknot loop snug around my neck, and jumped. The 2x4 busted loose where it was nailed in on one side, giving me just enough space to land hard on the step... but it wedged itself god, I'm laughin' right now remembering it-

It wedged itself in such a way that I had to remain standing, half-choking, with what felt like a busted ankle and a slipknot that wouldn't come off.

I played hell getting myself outta that fix. I was limping for a month. lol

Youth and stupidity all too often go together. They certainly did, with me.

Oh i'm sorry for your experience,thank for you sharing it...it sounds tragicly funny and i'm so sorry you struggled with sufference at such an early age
:(
Unfortunately my attempt failed and it just ended up with me hurted,feeling a real shit,desperate and a failure:(

I understand how you feel. I feel very lonely most of the times :(

:(

 

[Hollowillow]

Failed partial 3 times. Last time really tried hard. Got sn. But ate. Scared. Hurt. Sorry you in pain & failed wish....

 

[deletednumber]

Failed partial 3 times. Last time really tried hard. Got sn. But ate. Scared. Hurt. Sorry you in pain & failed wish....

Yeah :( if i had Sn,probably i would have succeeded,i have to put my hands on some Sn...i hate the fact that i'm not even good in kill myself,i really can't belive how much a failure in everything i am...thank you for your comment

 

[ClownMe]

Hope you're doing ok @S like suicide

 

[deletednumber]

Hope you're doing ok @S like suicide

Thank you ClownMe for being such a loving and caring light in a very dark and lonley moment...i truly appreciate you and i'm so grateful for your kind words and lovely gifs❤

 

[Hollowillow]

Yeah :( if i had Sn,probably i would have succeeded,i have to put my hands on some Sn...i hate the fact that i'm not even good in kill myself,i really can't belive how much a failure in everything i am...thank you for your comment

Failure too. Used toxic cleaner mix. Poisonned new home. All i own. Doomed. Really failed. New beggining is end... Best wishes. Sorry you hurt

 

[deletednumber]

Failure too. Used toxic cleaner mix. Poisonned new home. All i own. Doomed. Really failed. New beggining is end... Best wishes. Sorry you hurt

Aw...:(
Life is extremely hard sometimes and extremely harsh on some people Best wishes for you too

 

[Hollowillow]

Aw...:(
Life is extremely hard sometimes and extremely harsh on some people Best wishes for you too

Thank you. Much gratitude. Needed hug.
Can't find blue hug smiley? What keyword to search? Hug didn't show it.
Test
*Text hugs*

 

[deletednumber]

Thank you. Much gratitude. Needed hug.
Can't find blue hug smiley? What keyword to search? Hug didn't show it.
Test
*Text hugs*

❤
I copy and paste from the telegram emoticons:)
But that was very cute and nice ❤

 

[CandyCane]

I

I'm almost never alone at home, I'm always under the control of my family, but today ... in an hour i will be alone for all the afternoon.
The only point of the house where i could suicide are the stairs with full hanging or partial hanging,maybe it will work.I have found this method difficult and unsuccessful for me in the past but I am really desperate, I would like to try again ... I want to get hurt, I feel too bad

If you got away from your family would you still be suicidal?

 

[deletednumber]

I

If you got away from your family would you still be suicidal?

I think yes,maybe a very little bit less suicidal but still suicidal...in the past i was for some years away from my family but i was still suicidal :/