Venting all my old friends begged me to get diagnosed with NPD, i have no clue why

[Stupid_Anon_Offline]

I used to have a pretty solid friend group, hey all have completely cut ties with me and hate my guts because they consider me a horrible narcissist, and I just dont get it. I've done EXTENSIVE research into NPD and I just don't see it. They said I don't have empathy, which just wasn't true. I have *selective* empathy. I'm empathetic when it will help me and unless someone is Mt favorite person, don't feel sorry or apologize unless it will help me, WHICH IS PRETTY DAMN NORMAL. Just because I enjoy hurting other people's feelings because it's the only thing that actually makes me feel like I'm worth anything half the time, doesn't mean I'm a narcissist! I have a problem where I really hate myself for a day or two and then just completely convince myself that I'm this God like figure who must be respected. I feel sooooo amazing just because I'm super powerful and awesome, convinced that everyone must love me, but then I also have these few off days where I will be so hyper but also feel so horrible at the same time. I'll start shit for no reason and remind everyone how shitty I am but that they must love me and respect me even though I'll do nothing good for them. BUT I DONT CARE! I just want to feel happy, and all that makes me feel happy is lying to everyone and making everyone feel shit for my own gain. GOD I HATE BEING LABELED A NARCISSIST FOR JUST BEING HUMAN!

edit: God damn it why is it every time I try to bring this up every people just side with the assholes who were name calling me. btw this isn't trolling, this is just me.

 

[dolemitedrums]

Is this a serious post or are you trolling? If you are actually serious your friends might have a point.

 

[Stupid_Anon_Offline]

Is this a serious post or are you trolling? If you are actually serious your friends might have a point.

I'm being serious. everyone treats me like a monster but this is just the way I've been for years and I don't see how it's abnormal. every time we thought it was just "You're a bad person, go improve" without any context to why I'm so bad :[

 

[dolemitedrums]

I'm being serious. everyone treats me like a monster but this is just the way I've been for years and I don't see how it's abnormal. every time we thought it was just "You're a bad person, go improve" without any context to why I'm so bad :[

Well whether or not you are a clinical narcissist you described patterns of manipulation, sadism and other qualities not everyone hopes for in a friend. If you want to make and keep friends you might want to at least try to have empathy for them at times other than when it serves your interests alone.

 

[lacrimosa]

If you enjoy hurting other people, you might need to really sit down and evaluate your life. I think we all have a narcissistic streak or a little bit of evil inside. Take hunters for example. They gain pleasure from shooting animals. Or those whom consume meat knowing full well the hellish conditions in slaughter houses.

We're all on a spectrum of evil. You just need to figure out where you stand and hopefully you do more good than evil. If not, again, evaluate your life, find your shortcomings and work on fixing them. It's the human condition and I don't think you're so far gone that you can't change for the better. Otherwise, you wouldn't bother posting here for advice, even if it stems from frustration with your friends calling you a narcissist.

We can all do better, we can all be better, if we make the conscious decision to. The final choice is yours to make and if it wasn't bothering you, even a little bit, you wouldn't post here.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I can't tell if this is a joke or not... Assuming that you are being for real right now and aren't just trolling us gullible motherfuckers, you really should get tested for NDP. Based on your post, you do seem to show many symptoms commonly associated with that disorder and the fact that even a good friend of yours recommended you get tested is already a good sign that you should look into that. Having NDP doesn't make you a bad person, it just means that you have NDP. That's it. Please do not let the stigma surrounding the disorder prevent you from looking into getting evaluated for it.

If you enjoy hurting other people, you might need to really sit down and evaluate your life. I think we all have a narcissistic streak or a little bit of evil inside. Take hunters for example. They gain pleasure from shooting animals. Or those whom consume meat knowing full well the hellish conditions in slaughter houses.

We're all on a spectrum of evil. You just need to figure out where you stand and hopefully you do more good than evil. If not, again, evaluate your life, find your shortcomings and work on fixing them. It's the human condition and I don't think you're so far gone that you can't change for the better. Otherwise, you wouldn't bother posting here for advice, even if it stems from frustration with your friends calling you a narcissist.

We can all do better, we can all be better, if we make the conscious decision to. The final choice is yours to make and if it wasn't bothering you, even a little bit, you wouldn't post here.

NDP is a disorder that has nothing to do with the general use of the term "narcissist", which is a commonly used labelled that can be applied to anyone in the general population. Someone with NDP requires actual professional help, not just a few quick changes in their decision-making and needing to learn to do more good than evil. This is basically the equivalent to when people say "you're depressed? Then just smile more", in response to someone who has/may have depression. NDP is a complex psychiatric disorder and having it doesn't make one evil. The OP needs proper a proper psych evaluation.

 

[Saturn_]

Doesn't sound like you've got a lot of empathy to me...

 

[wastingpotential]

… yeah maybe your friends were onto something there.

go to a professional rather than just googling symptoms and coming to your own conclusion, never have i heard someone willingly choose to self diagnose themselves with npd and mean it. a second (professional) opinion on this would be good for you

 

[lacrimosa]

I can't tell if this is a joke or not... Assuming that you are being for real right now and aren't just trolling us gullible motherfuckers, you really should get tested for NDP. Based on your post, you do seem to show many symptoms commonly associated with that disorder and the fact that even a good friend of yours recommended you get tested is already a good sign that you should look into that. Having NDP doesn't make you a bad person, it just means that you have NDP. That's it. Please do not let the stigma surrounding the disorder prevent you from looking into getting evaluated for it.

NDP is a disorder that has nothing to do with the general use of the term "narcissist", which is a commonly used labelled that can be applied to anyone in the general population. Someone with NDP requires actual professional help, not just a few quick changes in their decision-making and needing to learn to do more good than evil. This is basically the equivalent to when people say "you're depressed? Then just smile more", in response to someone who has/may have depression. NDP is a complex psychiatric disorder and having it doesn't make one evil. The OP needs proper a proper psych evaluation.

Fair enough... I don't mean to offer platitudes or say that they shouldn't seek treatment. I am simply responding to the information given. And, you cherry picked one thing I said, suggesting the whole post of mine was redundant.

It's simply that the facts for me regarding psychiatric treatment and the way the system works, well... it's broken. At least in my country.

Point 1: There is a 6-7 month waiting list to see a psychiatrist in my country.

Point 2: I've been in the system since I was 15 years old and it hasn't improved over the decades and I live in one of the best countries in the world according to world stats.

Point 3: Psychiatric medication is a crap shoot. Doctors (GPs and Psychiatrists) alike rely on pharmaceutical reps for information regarding medication. So they just prescribe you what you haven't tried before if a medication doesn't work. This buggers your brain even further as you run the medication gauntlet, having to deal with side effects and whether or not the medication will work.

Point 4: There are a myriad of negative side effects associated with psychiatric medication including diabetes, kidney and liver damage, insomnia, suicidal ideation, etcetera, etcetera. This is why I would never recommend psychiatric medication or intervention with a clear conscious unless it was a last resort.

Point 5: Psychiatrists are pill pushers and will prescribe first and ask questions later. They never really follow up with you after you start a medication unless you make the effort to schedule an appointment to follow up with them. The wait times are usually two-three weeks and by then, the damage the medications can cause has been done.

Point 6: The withdrawal symptoms from stopping psychiatric medications are hellish and I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy.

Thus, this is why I said what I said. It's simply based off my experience and hopefully the OP can get the help they need but if they are in a country where they don't have access to proper medicare or psychiatric intervention, or they have to wait 6-8 months, then I stand behind what I said.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Fair enough... I don't mean to offer platitudes or say that they shouldn't seek treatment. I am simply responding to the information given. And, you cherry picked one thing I said, suggesting the whole post of mine was redundant.

It's simply that the facts for me regarding psychiatric treatment and the way the system works, well... it's broken. At least in my country.

Point 1: There is a 6-7 month waiting list to see a psychiatrist in my country.

Point 2: I've been in the system since I was 15 years old and it hasn't improved over the decades and I live in one of the best countries in the world according to world stats.

Point 3: Psychiatric medication is a crap shoot. Doctors (GPs and Psychiatrists) alike rely on pharmaceutical reps for information regarding medication. So they just prescribe you what you haven't tried before if a medication doesn't work. This buggers your brain even further as you run the medication gauntlet, having to deal with side effects and whether or not the medication will work.

Point 4: There are a myriad of negative side effects associated with psychiatric medication including diabetes, kidney and liver damage, insomnia, suicidal ideation, etcetera, etcetera. This is why I would never recommend psychiatric medication or intervention with a clear conscious unless it was a last resort.

Point 5: Psychiatrists are pill pushers and will prescribe first and ask questions later. They never really follow up with you after you start a medication unless you make the effort to schedule an appointment to follow up with them. The wait times are usually two-three weeks and by then, the damage the medications can cause has been done.

Point 6: The withdrawal symptoms from stopping psychiatric medications are hellish and I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy.

Thus, this is why I said what I said. It's simply based off my experience and hopefully the OP can get the help they need but if they are in a country where they don't have access to proper medicare or psychiatric intervention, or they have to wait 6-8 months, then I stand behind what I said.

Cherry-picked what exactly? Your entire post can basically be summed as "we're all a little bit evil. Just try to do better". The entire post just treats the OP situation as some little issue with their personality that can be fixed by just evaluating their shortcomings and doing more good than bad, rather than a situation involving someone who may suffer from complex psychiatric disorder and who needs a proper evaluation. The OP clearly has some very complex issues going on (NDP or not) that require advice from qualified individuals.

The rest of this reply is just you ranting about your experiences with the psychiatric system in your country, but as you've stated yourself, this is mainly your experience with it in your country. We don't know where the OP is from and thus we don't know if any of what you say would apply to how things work in their country. Along with that, there are no specific psych meds that used when treating NDP, so I don't get the point of mentioning your issues with them. If the OP has NDP then they will likely be getting therapy for it.

Either way, you aren't qualified to give the OP advice on how to cope with their symptoms in the meantime. It would probably be better for them to get advice from those who suffer from NDP or similar disorders and from those who have experience with working and treating those with cluster b personality disorders and other psychiatric/psychological issues. I understand that you have good intentions and all, but your advice kind of comes off as vague and does give "you have depression? Then smile more energy", tbh. I understand wanting to give them advice, but the OP had some very complicated issues that neither me nor you are qualified enough to give any advice on.

 

[lacrimosa]

Cherry-picked what exactly? Your entire post can basically be summed as "we're all a little bit evil. Just try to do better". The entire post just treats the OP situation as some little issue with their personality that can be fixed by just evaluating their shortcomings and doing more good than bad, rather than a situation involving someone who may suffer from complex psychiatric disorder and who needs a proper evaluation. The OP clearly has some very complex issues going on (NDP or not) that require advice from qualified individuals.

The rest of this reply is just you ranting about your experiences with the psychiatric system in your country, but as you've stated yourself, this is mainly your experience with it in your country. We don't know where the OP is from and thus we don't know if any of what you say would apply to how things work in their country. Along with that, there are no specific psych meds that used when treating NDP, so I don't get the point of mentioning your issues with them. If the OP has NDP then they will likely be getting therapy for it.

Either way, you aren't qualified to give the OP advice on how to cope with their symptoms in the meantime. It would probably be better for them to get advice from those who suffer from NDP or similar disorders and from those who have experience with working and treating those with cluster b personality disorders and other psychiatric/psychological issues. I understand that you have good intentions and all, but your advice kind of comes off as vague and does give "you have depression? Then smile more energy", tbh. I understand wanting to give them advice, but the OP had some very complicated issues that neither me nor you are qualified enough to give any advice on.

Okay, that I can agree with. Have a good night :)... Thanks for teaching me about NPD and I am a bit salty towards psychiatry and psychotherapy as in all fairness, the system is broken, at least in my country.

Hopefully, this information benefits the OP as well. And, they know more what to look for regarding treatment.

 

[DefinitelyReady]

I can't tell if this is a joke or not... Assuming that you are being for real right now and aren't just trolling us gullible motherfuckers, you really should get tested for NDP. Based on your post, you do seem to show many symptoms commonly associated with that disorder and the fact that even a good friend of yours recommended you get tested is already a good sign that you should look into that. Having NDP doesn't make you a bad person, it just means that you have NDP. That's it. Please do not let the stigma surrounding the disorder prevent you from looking into getting evaluated for it.

NDP is a disorder that has nothing to do with the general use of the term "narcissist", which is a commonly used labelled that can be applied to anyone in the general population. Someone with NDP requires actual professional help, not just a few quick changes in their decision-making and needing to learn to do more good than evil. This is basically the equivalent to when people say "you're depressed? Then just smile more", in response to someone who has/may have depression. NDP is a complex psychiatric disorder and having it doesn't make one evil. The OP needs proper a proper psych evaluation.

I wish I wasn't a gullible motherfucker...

 

[Dot]

I'm empathetic when it will help me and unless someone is my favorite person, don't feel sorry or apologize unless it will help me, WHICH IS PRETTY DAMN NORMAL.

 

[Dot]

I'm being serious. everyone treats me like a monster but this is just the way I've been for years and I don't see how it's abnormal. every time we thought it was just "You're a bad person, go improve" without any context to why I'm so bad :[

Bcse hurtng othr ppl espclly fr Njoymnt = toxc b-havr & no1 wll wantd 2 b treatd tht wy

carng abt no1 feelngs xcept ur own = nt goin2 mke othr ppl wn2 spnd tme wth u or emotnlly invst in u bcse thy wll b hurt - only a damgd persn wld Njy tht

Thy prbbly wnt u t/ wrk on urslf in ordr t/ lern t/ gnuinly cre abt othr ppl & t/ treat othr ppl bettr

 

[Makoto]

I used to have a pretty solid friend group, hey all have completely cut ties with me and hate my guts because they consider me a horrible narcissist, and I just dont get it. I've done EXTENSIVE research into NPD and I just don't see it. They said I don't have empathy, which just wasn't true. I have *selective* empathy. I'm empathetic when it will help me and unless someone is Mt favorite person, don't feel sorry or apologize unless it will help me, WHICH IS PRETTY DAMN NORMAL. Just because I enjoy hurting other people's feelings because it's the only thing that actually makes me feel like I'm worth anything half the time, doesn't mean I'm a narcissist! I have a problem where I really hate myself for a day or two and then just completely convince myself that I'm this God like figure who must be respected. I feel sooooo amazing just because I'm super powerful and awesome, convinced that everyone must love me, but then I also have these few off days where I will be so hyper but also feel so horrible at the same time. I'll start shit for no reason and remind everyone how shitty I am but that they must love me and respect me even though I'll do nothing good for them. BUT I DONT CARE! I just want to feel happy, and all that makes me feel happy is lying to everyone and making everyone feel shit for my own gain. GOD I HATE BEING LABELED A NARCISSIST FOR JUST BEING HUMAN!

edit: God damn it why is it every time I try to bring this up every people just side with the assholes who were name calling me. btw this isn't trolling, this is just me.

Fun fact, my ex gf has all those characteristics you describe about yourself... now I understand a lot.