Venting All I really wanted (a precursor to my not-so-soon goodbye thread)

[ItsMe-Hecked]

It wouldn't have taken much to make me happy. Just having one person; a girlfriend or a best friend who cares about me, who I could be myself around. Someone who wouldn't only be around me because I could benefit them, but because we mutually cared about each-others well-being. I wanted to live on the mountains with little technology, with my own source of food. I just wanted to drop out of society with someone, and die peacefully of old age. No conflict. No horrible people forcing me to change how I am. No one to please. It would've been a dream come true.

People on this site can comment all they want about how I'm "being unrealistic" and how "my parents don't owe me anything, and I should try to go back to school", but I would argue that they (at least did) owe me at least this. They would either owe me a way out of this endless suffering, or they could leave me be. Seriously. How fucking much would it harm them for them to just let me be in my room most of the time, occasionally do chores for them, and occasionally eat food. (I rarely eat as is, and I would even VSED if it meant I could have a fairly laid back, peaceful week.) They owed me that much. They shouldn't have forced me into a world that pumped pure, constant suffering into my ass, and then expect me to take their demands. I deserved contentedness; I deserved a life where I could've at least have been calm. Sometimes I just feel like all I can do is lash out. Not going to, though. When I leave, I won't have the desire to lash out anymore because I'll be gone. Can't change the past though, I am over it. I'm CTBing when my package gets here. Also my birthday is soon, which pisses me off.

 

[meetapple]

I am sorry you feel this way. Your parents brought you into this world and they have a duty to treat you like more than a simple boarder. As for simple desires, I too, wanted to escape from the rigors of society. It is hard because we have become so dependent on it.

 

[FuneralCry]

Many of us are brought into this world just to suffer. I know it can be painful living a life you do not want, I'm sorry you are in this situation. I wish you the best.

 

[waitingforrest]

Most of us just want the basic things other people take for granted. I hope you find peace from the pain.

 

[Josuyo]

I'm personally v worried for you. I can defo relate to your situation when I was your age. I met far more like minded people after I left school and through activities that were a little outside the norm but you can meet real friends that way. I won't tell you what to do ofc or guarantee things will be better but I do think you deserve some real enjoyment and happiness in life, just like everyone else does.