Venting alive only because im not dead yet.

[hikijune]

i already feel dead, i am a NEET who doesn't go outside because of extreme social phobia. i live the same day every day, wake up, breakfast, bedrot, dinner, bedrot, sleep. i already chose death a long time ago, the only reason i am "living" now is that i am too much of a coward to actually go with it. i hate it, really.

 

[gothbird]

You're not a coward. You're just stuck in a body that still runs survival code, even after you've mentally checked out. That's biology.

I get the agoraphobia—I haven't left my flat in years unless I absolutely had to. The looping days, the isolation, the numbness. People think not going outside is peace. It's not. It's slow erasure. You're not even "living," you're just sustaining organ function while the rest of you shuts down.

And honestly? That's a kind of death in itself. We're already gone in most of the ways that matter—we just haven't exited the vehicle yet. So no, you're not being dramatic, and you're not imagining the weight of it.

Whether you stay or not, just know this: existing like this is already harder than most people will ever understand. If you're still here, it's not cowardice—it's endurance. Even if it feels pointless. I'm proud of you.

 

[getoutgirl]

You're not a coward. You're just stuck in a body that still runs survival code, even after you've mentally checked out. That's biology.

I get the agoraphobia—I haven't left my flat in years unless I absolutely had to. The looping days, the isolation, the numbness. People think not going outside is peace. It's not. It's slow erasure. You're not even "living," you're just sustaining organ function while the rest of you shuts down.

And honestly? That's a kind of death in itself. We're already gone in most of the ways that matter—we just haven't exited the vehicle yet. So no, you're not being dramatic, and you're not imagining the weight of it.

Whether you stay or not, just know this: existing like this is already harder than most people will ever understand. If you're still here, it's not cowardice—it's endurance. Even if it feels pointless. I'm proud of you.

Couldn't have said it better. I've been there and it is hell. I'm also proud of you and so sorry you are going through it. <3

 

[deadbidaylight]

You're not a coward. You're just stuck in a body that still runs survival code, even after you've mentally checked out. That's biology.

I get the agoraphobia—I haven't left my flat in years unless I absolutely had to. The looping days, the isolation, the numbness. People think not going outside is peace. It's not. It's slow erasure. You're not even "living," you're just sustaining organ function while the rest of you shuts down.

And honestly? That's a kind of death in itself. We're already gone in most of the ways that matter—we just haven't exited the vehicle yet. So no, you're not being dramatic, and you're not imagining the weight of it.

Whether you stay or not, just know this: existing like this is already harder than most people will ever understand. If you're still here, it's not cowardice—it's endurance. Even if it feels pointless. I'm proud of you.

This is exactly everything I could've hoped to say. Everything you say is very true and it's worded so eloquently. You are awesome.

And OP, living a life like that would be absolute torture. I wish I had something more to add, but just know even though you feel like you might be forgotten irl, you are very much alive here and in our hearts. We understand, and we relate. You are not alone.

 

[Mary Janex]

I relate to you so much. I have agoraphobia because I have depersonalization disorder. Every time I have to leave the house I panic. It literally ruins my life and I hate it so much. So I really understand