Ageing makes me want to catch the bus

[FireFox]

I dont feel young anymore. I turned 23 yesterday. I feel like i am running out of time.

I cant stop crying and worrying everyday. I am sleep over it.

I feel so lost and trapped. I dont know anything anymore. There is so much pressure to have it all figured out and make huge decisons

Not knowing what to do with my life is the ulimate source of distress

I never imagined my life would be like this. At 19 i wanted to make the world a better place now at 23 i want to be dead.

I feel like this will be my life forever.
Living at home in the same neighbourhood, no clear purpose, Single and everyday feeling like a failure.

 

[Good4Nothing]

It saddens that so many young people feel this way.
What I wouldn't give to be 23 again...

 

[nerve]

Turning 25 was a big one for me. I feel like just when I finish coping with the fact that I'm one year older, the next birthday comes and it starts all over again.

Like even if I found the perfect therapist and perfect meds or perfect program for me, how many years would it be until I could be a functioning member of society? Do I really feel like trying this hard to just be in my thirties and working menial entry-level jobs where my superiors are like ~10 years younger than me?

Do I really feel like dealing with a world that doesn't really want me around and will pity/laugh at/abuse the fact that I'll always be too small and sensitive and frail to feel at home on this planet?

I don't have any clever insight, but I see you and I'm hearing your pain and hoping you can find some peace today

 

[Despondent]

That's a reason I want to ctb also :( Twenty-three years may seem like a long time, but you're still really young and that's coming from me ❤ It all seems new and fresh right now, but maybe over some time you'll realize, "hey, I still am pretty young"

I really felt this though, and it bums me out almost all of the time. I wish I could change this for both of us :( make us five years younger or something

 

[FireFox]

It saddens that so many young people feel this way.
What I wouldn't give to be 23 again...

Why?
Everything is so confusing at 23

 

[jrums]

23 isn't old. Is there something else bothering you? Hopeless for other reasons?

 

[FireFox]

23 isn't old. Is there something else bothering you? Hopeless for other reasons?

@jrums I am not where i am supposed to be
I should be having a career, a boyfriend, more mature and living on my own.

I gradauted 10 months ago with a law degree but dont want to be a lawyer. A law degree doesnt make you make a lawywr in the UK .

I have no idea what career i want, i still single and a virgin, living at home and emotionally immature
People around me have jobs and partners i envy them.

I am a loser

 

[blivogade]

I feel this.
I turn 19 next month and i feel like ive lost so much time, before i know it ill be 20 and my teenage years will be gone, ive missed out on so much, i haven't had any teenage experiences, i have no friends, no qualifications due to dropping out of school to go into hospital and im terrified of ageing yet noone will take that fear seriously because i am young.
I know i have already screwed up my life, ive spent the last 3 years at home, unable to work or do any form of education due to my instability... the years are passing by really quickly and thats scary, everyone my age is in relationships, at university, even moving out.
I dont know what to do, life is going too fast and being an adult brings nothing but pain.

 

[Justinian]

This is from a poem I've read, I've teared up reading this myself:

I fear to meet my eighteen-year old self. My eighteen-year old self got illusions. He thought he was a good person, assuming that he deserved all the love in the world.

I fear to meet my twenty-year old self. My twenty-year old self didn't speak to anyone. He no longer believed himself as a good person.

I fear to meet my twenty-six-year old self. My twenty-six-year old self owned many candy that others didn't have, but he still didn't know what he wanted.

 

[mediocre]

I feel the exact same way as you but not when I was 23! When I was 23 I thought I still had time but then I blinked a few times and I'm 27 already turning 28 at the end of this year! Time is going so fast. I am almost in my thirties and have accomplished nothing.

 

[FireFox]

I feel this.
I turn 19 next month and i feel like ive lost so much time, before i know it ill be 20 and my teenage years will be gone, ive missed out on so much, i haven't had any teenage experiences, i have no friends, no qualifications due to dropping out of school to go into hospital and im terrified of ageing yet noone will take that fear seriously because i am young.
I know i have already screwed up my life, ive spent the last 3 years at home, unable to work or do any form of education due to my instability... the years are passing by really quickly and thats scary, everyone my age is in relationships, at university, even moving out.
I dont know what to do, life is going too fast and being an adult brings nothing but pain.

I have not had any teenage experiences as well. I never had friends throughout school. The friends i did have talked about me behind my back, bullying i experienced, i never used to fit in and never went out

You can go to university at any age.
What country are you living in

I feel the exact same way as you but not when I was 23! When I was 23 I thought I still had time but then I blinked a few times and I'm 27 already turning 28 at the end of this year! Time is going so fast. I am almost in my thirties and have accomplished nothing.

I hate it when people tell me i have time to figure it out.
I feel like i am running out of time everyday

 

[SpareWheel]

23? Have a word.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

It saddens that so many young people feel this way.
What I wouldn't give to be 23 again...

+1

 

[FireFox]

23? Have a word.

What do you mean?

 

[SpareWheel]

What do you mean?

You think you're running out of time at 23? You're barely past being a kid. There's people on this forum with genuine, life changing problems, and you're worked up about feeling old at 23? I mean come on, you're just about old enough to drink alcohol in some countries. You're 17 years away from being middle aged, your life has barely started.

 

[FireFox]

You think you're running out of time at 23? You're barely past being a kid. There's people on this forum with genuine, life changing problems, and you're worked up about feeling old at 23? I mean come on, you're just about old enough to drink alcohol in some countries. You're 17 years away from being middle aged, your life has barely started.

I am aware there lots of people with serious problems on this forum but it so hard to explain.
I feel like i am running out of time.

 

[Squiddy]

I know how you feel. Aging is yet another reason I want to ctb even though I'm only 21

 

[Kyrok]

I am aware there lots of people with serious problems on this forum but it so hard to explain.
I feel like i am running out of time.

You feel you are running out of time to "find yourself." In our society, that's often what one struggles with in their 20s.

If you don't want to be a lawyer, perhaps go for a Ph.D.. My best friend left law at 30, got a Ph.D. in Philosophy and is very happy.

I also have some friends who are attorneys focused on social change: ACLU attorneys for example. Having a law degree can be the basis for amazing service to the world.

I'm 54 and most of what I do is for others. Ask what talents and energy you can muster for the betterment of those without the privileges you've enjoyed. Look into paths you could take for others. If you're 23 with a law degree, you're way ahead of most.

 

[Blue Portal]

I dont feel young anymore. I turned 23 yesterday. I feel like i am running out of time.

I cant stop crying and worrying everyday. I am sleep over it.

I feel so lost and trapped. I dont know anything anymore. There is so much pressure to have it all figured out and make huge decisons

Not knowing what to do with my life is the ulimate source of distress

I never imagined my life would be like this. At 19 i wanted to make the world a better place now at 23 i want to be dead.

I feel like this will be my life forever.
Living at home in the same neighbourhood, no clear purpose, Single and everyday feeling like a failure.

Your so young please try some self development and maybe some psychedelics first.

 

[Iwantoutrightnow]

I don't mean to belittle your suffering in what I'm about to say but I'm a little confused about what you are saying.

You say you feel like you are running out of time but you are considering ctb? If you ctb you won't have any time.

Most people these days live into their 80's so you've got potentially nearly 3 times the lifetime you've lived so far.

If you want to achieve something before you die maybe putting time into thinking about what it is you want to achieve and researching how you can achieve that would be more beneficial to you than looking at ways to end the time you fear you are running out of. UK universities have careers departments that are usually available to students for up to 3 years after they graduate, they can help you with career planning.

There are no rules in life that say that you have to be married/live independently etc by a certain age, they are pressures that you are imposing on yourself that you don't need to. It's ok that you don't have a boyfriend, that you're a virgin, that you live at home at 23, it's not a failure but you can't change any of those things if you ctb.

Everybody's struggles and suffering is different and nobody can know what it is like for that person so I am not trying to dismiss your pain`but it sounds like you want these things to change and that will only happen if you are alive and you do something proactive to change them.

 

[Cedi]

Well there is no real purpose really. Media is giving you this lie. In the 70's children were asked what they wanted later in life. Most kids would tell they wanted to get married and have children. If you ask kids today most will tell you they want to be rich or famous. Or in your case, make the WORLD a better place. That is huge. Too huge. Understandable you will feel Like a failure if you set the stacks so high. Just start with yourself. Life is about simple things like food, shelter and sex. That goes for every species. You have food and shelter. You are 23. Maybe start (online) dating if you truly want to do something about not being single. And yes, you probably will live a 'boring regular' life like most of the humans on earth. Nothing wrong with it, it is normal. Deal with it, accept it, and enjoy the handful little happy moments. That's life. And maybe you won't find any relationship, it is more common than you think, and that is okay too. You can't have everything in life. You must realize that. Better to be single then have lots of debt or have an incurable sickness.

 

[FireFox]

I don't mean to belittle your suffering in what I'm about to say but I'm a little confused about what you are saying.

You say you feel like you are running out of time but you are considering ctb? If you ctb you won't have any time.

Most people these days live into their 80's so you've got potentially nearly 3 times the lifetime you've lived so far.

If you want to achieve something before you die maybe putting time into thinking about what it is you want to achieve and researching how you can achieve that would be more beneficial to you than looking at ways to end the time you fear you are running out of. UK universities have careers departments that are usually available to students for up to 3 years after they graduate, they can help you with career planning.

There are no rules in life that say that you have to be married/live independently etc by a certain age, they are pressures that you are imposing on yourself that you don't need to. It's ok that you don't have a boyfriend, that you're a virgin, that you live at home at 23, it's not a failure but you can't change any of those things if you ctb.

Everybody's struggles and suffering is different and nobody can know what it is like for that person so I am not trying to dismiss your pain`but it sounds like you want these things to change and that will only happen if you are alive and you do something proactive to change them.

The future scares me and i dont want to live to see the next 10 years.
Ctb means not having to see it all and gives me control . Sucide is about control. The planning , the method etc ..i feel so much in control. If i cant chose to live i can chose how i die. Death is so much better than living

I feel like i have ruined my life forever.

I never had a paying job as a result i have major insecurities about it . My sheltered upbringing i was never allowed to work. I done voluntarlity work in the past at university but the placments just went so badly
A woman out of nowhere offerred me a job in a chruch she set up herself it wad saturday only but i turned it down as i afriad i mess up and be needy like i was on my university placement.
I used to be confident now i feel like i cant do anything right. I just want to hide from the outside world.

I never going to have a job offer in my life again.
A 23 year who never worked i am a loser
Since then I get rejcted from minium wage jobs.

Seeing people i went to school with and church with having careers, parners and travelling.
It so awful it hard to explain.

I went to church party on boxing day it was awful not beening able to answer what i have been doing with my life.

Everyday I feel like a failure
Maybe i am.punished for everything

 

[Iwantoutrightnow]

The future scares me and i dont want to live to see the next 10 years.

What about the future scares you?

Sucide is about control. The planning , the method etc ..i feel so much in control. If i cant chose to live i can chose how i die. Death is so much better than living

Yes if you ctb you control your death but as has been suggested there are ways that you can take control of the aspects of life that you are struggling with. Why can't you choose to live? If we can choose to die we can choose to live. You can do research into things that interest you, plan how to achieve what you want to achieve in the same way that you are researching and planning ctb. Like I said your uni career's service that can help and there's also the national careers service that has surveys asking questions about what you like doing and suggests careers inline with your answers.

I feel like i have ruined my life forever.

The only thing that is forever is death. If you really want to change your life and live it you can but you have to want to.

I used to be confident now i feel like i cant do anything right. I just want to hide from the outside world.

There are courses you can do in assertiveness and confidence building, the job center can help with this

I never going to have a job offer in my life again.

I didn't work for 10 years because of mental health problems and I thought I'd never be employed but I got 2 job offers in the same week. If you are determined you can get a job.

Seeing people i went to school with and church with having careers, parners and travelling

Ok so your friends are doing these things, it doesn't mean they didn't struggle or that they are happy. Maybe they present a happy front but you don't know what they experience behind closed doors, they might be as envious of you as you are of them. You don't need to compare yourself to others as there is no comparison to be made. My friends went to uni from school, I went when I was 21 and there was a woman on my course in her 50's, people do things at different times in their lives because we're all different.

You absolutely have the right to ctb if that's what you want but there are attainable solutions to the problems you are struggling with. It just seems that maybe you could try to change things before you make a decision and take an action which will end your life

 

[mathieu]

I know how you feel. I felt the same way at your age now it's much worse at 29.

 

[SheJumped]

I counted down to 25 as that was my time to catch the first bus, fast forward to my mid 30's,

Just know even at 23 you can still make some changes, and have positive outcomes. You have every right to catch the bus, but nothing wrong with giving life a chance.

 

[Good4Nothing]

Why?
Everything is so confusing at 23

Yes, everything is confusing at 23.
But you literally have your whole life ahead of you.
You've only just begun to live.
There's a whole world out there to experience.
If you're brave enough to CTB, you're brave enough to TRY to live.
TRY to find a life that makes you happy, or at least causes you less pain.
You're 23 and indestructable. The world is here for YOU. Be reckless. Be BRAVE.
You'll be okay.

 

[rebelsue]

You think you're running out of time at 23? You're barely past being a kid. There's people on this forum with genuine, life changing problems, and you're worked up about feeling old at 23? I mean come on, you're just about old enough to drink alcohol in some countries. You're 17 years away from being middle aged, your life has barely started.

Yes that's true, technically. But remember what being 23 felt like.

We put way too much pressure on young people to be so much.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Yes, everything is confusing at 23.
But you literally have your whole life ahead of you.
You've only just begun to live.
There's a whole world out there to experience.
If you're brave enough to CTB, you're brave enough to TRY to live.
TRY to find a life that makes you happy, or at least causes you less pain.
You're 23 and indestructable. The world is here for YOU. Be reckless. Be BRAVE.
You'll be okay.

But...you were 23 once...and you're not okay, according to your posts and "life has killed me."

I think your intentions were good, but this whole comment was just...I'm trying to say this gently, but I don't know how, so I'll just be honest. It sounds like a new age self-help book, or Tony Robbins, or some really good drugs.

Not hating on you, it's just not reality.

You think you're running out of time at 23? You're barely past being a kid. There's people on this forum with genuine, life changing problems, and you're worked up about feeling old at 23? I mean come on, you're just about old enough to drink alcohol in some countries. You're 17 years away from being middle aged, your life has barely started.

Gently and respectfully, have you read her other posts? This is her experience, and to her it's tortuous. Her problems are genuine, they're causing her to have a horrific experience of where she is in her life right now.

 

[Good4Nothing]

But...you were 23 once...and you're not okay, according to your posts and "life has killed me."

I think your intentions were good, but this whole comment was just...I'm trying to say this gently, but I don't know how, so I'll just be honest. It sounds like a new age self-help book, or Tony Robbins, or some really good drugs.

Not hating on you, it's just not reality.

I just don't understand this mentality of giving up without trying. Young people opening the door on adulthood, taking one look without even stepping outside and saying "fuck it. I'm out."

What should I say to young people who want to CTB before they've even tried living? "Yah, fuck it. You should kill yourself"?

 

[SpareWheel]

But...you were 23 once...and you're not okay, according to your posts and "life has killed me."

I think your intentions were good, but this whole comment was just...I'm trying to say this gently, but I don't know how, so I'll just be honest. It sounds like a new age self-help book, or Tony Robbins, or some really good drugs.

Not hating on you, it's just not reality.



Gently and respectfully, have you read her other posts? This is her experience, and to her it's tortuous. Her problems are genuine, they're causing her to have a horrific experience of where she is in her life right now.

I've read enough. A 23 year old that's acting as if life is over and an 18 year devastated her crush doesn't like her. This site has lost some of its validity for me. I can't help feel people are taking the piss with some of these threads.