Venting Aftermath daydreaming

[KOWO]

My depression has been acting up lately. Recently made worst by my mom by making me realize how trapped I am in our predicament. I won't ever escape her until either she or I are dead and frankly I wanna be the first one to go.

The want to commit has been an all time high as of late, but lately with the inclusion of planning how she'll find my body. Preferably suffocation while I'm in bed, she'll be too angry to check in on me so she leaves me be which means my body is left to fester and rot for a while until she's met with a nasty surprise. But that's just me daydreaming while trying to get some sleep. I used to wonder how she'll be if ever but then again, I remember she told me she wouldn't care a few years back. At least this plan would inconvenience her a bit maybe.

Anyway, sorry for rambling. I'm not quite sure if this is the right place to say this but frankly I'm a lurker and these types of thoughts can't be shared with the homies

 

[FuneralCry]

At least once we are finally gone, nothing that exists here in this world could ever be our concern and everyone has to die somewhere, someday, death is the most normal thing, in fact I see it as being the only relief.