after that phone call i'm even more isolated. i could feel the prejudiceness through the call.

[ornitier199]

I think this is because I have never found anyone who was more like me in multitude of ways. than him.
With out that, with you, ryan jordan

i hate social media, never used it, never had one, always alone, always writing. and even forums like this because being surrounding by some many others terrifies me, i cannot 'fit in', i cannot relate
In my whole life I've only had two. 'friends that I could call friend (or friendly at best).
The first was in middle school. The last was just months ago.
I've always been alone, never thought there was anyone who could understand me for me as me until then recently, actually Ryan I saw him in October of last year 2021 or at least be the similar in the general sense to me. like a general connection
Which just makes living even more pointless.
I've been doing this one method for days now and I think I really feel the effects of coming to an end for me.
the phone call was with CEDS which is not a illness, not that i want to relive any of it now, ok, a part what's to just jot down these notes and feelings because that's what i've always done but i also don't care too as well knowing im on the verge of dying from heatstroke anyways. yeah i can feel it, i have not stopped since i first started and discovered it here.
think this method is stupid? i don't care, its not because it can and will in fact kill me, which is the end goal here.

 

[FuneralCry]

Heatstroke sounds like such an awful way to die, to me it is terrible how many people suffer so much even when they are dying, it is such a cruel and unfair life. I have never been able to relate to others as well, but in a way I have never really wanted to. People often just make things worse and I would rather be alone. I wish you relief from suffering.

 

[Thatdude]

Heatstroke sounds like such an awful way to die, to me it is terrible how many people suffer so much even when they are dying, it is such a cruel and unfair life. I have never been able to relate to others as well, but in a way I have never really wanted to. People often just make things worse and I would rather be alone. I wish you relief from suffering.

To add on, most don't die due to heatstroke. But yes, it can be horrible. I've had it once and known a few people who had it. You are never the same.
Like you have massive massive massive headaches, it can make you always starving for water, it can cause pains all over the body, and so on.

If I was to do it as a CTB method, then I would mix it with sleeping pills. I think if you take the full sun and heat, and stay knocked out. Then maybe if you are lucky you might be able to go without as much pain. But if we were lucky, it isn't like we would be hear ...