Help After Death

[blowmybrainzout]

How do I stop thinking about how people around me would react after I die? Does anyone here have these thoughts too? I know I want to die, but I can't get myself to do it because a part of me wants to see how people would react. I know it sounds silly and stupid, it may even sound like I just want to know that people might care, but I genuinely just want to die.

I never drank alcohol before, but would it help if I get drunk and do it? Would it help get rid of the thoughts? I already have my rope, and I already have a place in mind where I will do it. I can't go through another year.

I know that I won't even have the ability to think about it when I'm gone, but I still can't get rid of these thoughts right now.

Thank you to anyone that will share their experience/thoughts, or just give tips/advice.

 

[maylurker]

How do I stop thinking about how people around me would react after I die? Does anyone here have these thoughts too? I know I want to die, but I can't get myself to do it because a part of me wants to see how people would react.

thats a huge part of it for me too. when ur being so ignored your whole life its natural to think of it

 

[girafeli]

thinking about how people would react scares me. i just wish i could stop existing but without the funeral or the mourning part ykno?

 

[blowmybrainzout]

thats a huge part of it for me too. when ur being so ignored your whole life its natural to think of it

yeah, I guess it really is natural to crave something you wish you receive or felt before it's too late. maybe just to see that maybe people regret what they couldn't have done or give

 

[Jadotine]

As a people's pleaser I've always had these kinds of thoughts whenever I was suicidal, and its only natural for you to have them if you have people you consider close to you.

In some way these thoughts have kept me alive (for better or worse) for a long time but there was a point where I couldn't hold on any longer. After that, I still had these thoughts, but they held less power everytime. Even now, I still have them!

Just so you know alcohol can either lessen or exacerbate these thoughts, so be careful about going with this method. I think that you have to first make peace with the fact that some people will be hurt regardless of if your attempt succeeds or not. I personally don't care anymore because I want to put my wellbeing first...

Good luck on your journey!

 

[blowmybrainzout]

As a people's pleaser I've always had these kinds of thoughts whenever I was suicidal, and its only natural for you to have them if you have people you consider close to you.

In some way these thoughts have kept me alive (for better or worse) for a long time but there was a point where I couldn't hold on any longer. After that, I still had these thoughts, but they held less power everytime. Even now, I still have them!

Just so you know alcohol can either lessen or exacerbate these thoughts, so be careful about going with this method. I think that you have to first make peace with the fact that some people will be hurt regardless of if your attempt succeeds or not. I personally don't care anymore because I want to put my wellbeing first...

Good luck on your journey!

thank you for sharing. It doesn't affect me or stop me as much as before, but it's still there. And for me, it's not really about if they're hurt or not, I just really want to see if someone will cry, be mad, or whatever. Maybe it's like an act of revenge for whatever I had to go through or something like that. Either way, I would still have to make peace with it:')

I hope you find whatever peace you're looking for, and good luck on your journey as well!