Venting Afraid of going out Alone

[Underdepth]

I do not have anyone that cares about me and I never have. I always yearned and craved for that intimacy, affection and care. And I wish I could have that before I go, at least someone holding my hand and telling me everything will be okay, or someone to hold me before I go out. I'm going to die knowing no one cares about me and no one is going to be looking for me until someone gets home and has to use the washroom. Hurts a little.

 

[Ame]

I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. Loneliness can be quite a weight isn't it? Feeling as though your presence bears no weight in the lives of others can be painful. Isolation can make a lot of the day to day things that many take for granted seem like daunting tasks too. I don't know anything about your situation beyond what you've shared in this post, but I hope that you can reach out to someone. If not, then I am sure that there are those here who would love to lend you their ear, if even for a little while. Please be compassionate with yourself because you are worthy of being cared for.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I do not have anyone that cares about me and I never have. I always yearned and craved for that intimacy, affection and care. And I wish I could have that before I go, at least someone holding my hand and telling me everything will be okay, or someone to hold me before I go out. I'm going to die knowing no one cares about me and no one is going to be looking for me until someone gets home and has to use the washroom. Hurts a little.

Wow it must hurt a lot. I'm very sorry that you don't have family that cares for you or a significant other. I've never had a significant other either. I don't know what love feels like. I would love someone to sit with me as well when I do it. Make sure it goes well. Make sure you give yourself enough time though not to be found. So I gather you live with family? They don't show any interest in you? Do they ignore you?

 

[Moonicide]

I'm so sorry, love. I relate to that a lot... As I ctb I'll be ctbing alone, and one of my biggest fears was dying alone when I was younger. I wish I could be held by a loved one as I pass, but it's not realistic as they would try to save me. Or at least having someone else to call and be on the other line as I pass. But it's a very heavy and dark thing for others. So I understand why people wouldn't want to be present for that.
Just know you are cared and loved on here and we're here for you if you'd like to spend your last moments with us.

 

[Jean4]

I understand how you feel. You aren't alone. You have us.

 

[Underdepth]

Wow it must hurt a lot. I'm very sorry that you don't have family that cares for you or a significant other. I've never had a significant other either. I don't know what love feels like. I would love someone to sit with me as well when I do it. Make sure it goes well. Make sure you give yourself enough time though not to be found. So I gather you live with family? They don't show any interest in you? Do they ignore you?

Yeah and I have no connection with them. I don't like them

 

[crea_the_hopeless]

Isolation and feeling alone in the world really sucks. Feel free to PM whenever.. I promise I'll listen to you. You deserve to be heard. Your feelings and thoughts matter. You matter.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I'm so sorry. I feel very similar right now. I know what it feels like to wanna curl up and die.