Discussion Advice on a complicated situation.

[Coffeandamug]

Hello SS, here again after a hiatus. Guys I (very luckily) got to do therapy, and the therapist was very good. I could freely talk about my wishes to die (which to this day I'm not completely certain of, but there's a big chance I'll cbt). I told her, at the beginning of our sessions, that I believed every adult should have the right to die. And she never tried to talk me out of it; she's more worried that I do it responsibly. I haven't told my therapist yet about my recent thoughts. I have 2 sisters, one who is more loving and caring, and the other, well... sometimes she does hurtful things to my parents. The thing is, my parents have always supported us financially and tried their best emotionally. They're from the middle to lower class, and yet they work every day to support us. My mom called today, very upset about my sister, because she had said some bad things about my parents. My mom asked me, "Son, when I'm older and in need of care, will you take care of me ?" That hit me like a truck. I lied to her. "Of course I'll be here, Mom". That felt so bad and so selfish. I'm almost sure I won't be here... and I believe in the right to die... but how am I going to abandon my parents ?I don't know if I'll be within the conditions to help them as well. I don't know... i'm torn between my own right to die and the responsability to my parents who always supported me...