TW suicide
Years ago when I was really deep depression I was referred to my CMHT to join various groups to meet new people in my area and thought, "why not, what I got to lose ? Perhaps it will get more despite never wanting to leave my house and first few we're difficult but then some idiot invite some clients with learning disabilities and it great, we all got along really well, then big mistake K was invited with her mate M and was when my life was already hell and getting worse, she bullied me, she me I was fat and in vulnerable place, she took the piss of people who were mentally unwell say the most inappropriate things "Pull yourself together, stop feeling sorry for yourself, read a good book if you are feeling suicidal, why don't you just end it and she convinced people to leave their jobs, end their relationships and once told an alcoholic to go and drink himself to death and sadly he did"
So leaving was one thing I did for myself, I couldn't handle me even if me and my friend argued about or if my bpd got seriously worse.
Then the same situation happened in other places she was following me at one point, so I had nothing but my PS4 and Netflix and I felt awful but I accepted that reality and eventually I realised that I didn't need to socialise more often, I didn't need to improve how I felt.
So all I am saying is that when youknow that something is to good to be true, go with your own hunch if that person makes a negative comment about your illness, disability, situation then please leave and don't fool for the same trap I landed myself in.
till this day, I have lost interest in going out with people from uni, I go to the uni, train stn and home again. I have millions of people I know online who I chat to who I feel safe and they usually first I go to and not my classmate, I feel comfortable sharing online, on reddit, in private groups online ana on forums than I do my own parents at times or a complete stranger over the phone.
Years ago when I was really deep depression I was referred to my CMHT to join various groups to meet new people in my area and thought, "why not, what I got to lose ? Perhaps it will get more despite never wanting to leave my house and first few we're difficult but then some idiot invite some clients with learning disabilities and it great, we all got along really well, then big mistake K was invited with her mate M and was when my life was already hell and getting worse, she bullied me, she me I was fat and in vulnerable place, she took the piss of people who were mentally unwell say the most inappropriate things "Pull yourself together, stop feeling sorry for yourself, read a good book if you are feeling suicidal, why don't you just end it and she convinced people to leave their jobs, end their relationships and once told an alcoholic to go and drink himself to death and sadly he did"
So leaving was one thing I did for myself, I couldn't handle me even if me and my friend argued about or if my bpd got seriously worse.
Then the same situation happened in other places she was following me at one point, so I had nothing but my PS4 and Netflix and I felt awful but I accepted that reality and eventually I realised that I didn't need to socialise more often, I didn't need to improve how I felt.
So all I am saying is that when youknow that something is to good to be true, go with your own hunch if that person makes a negative comment about your illness, disability, situation then please leave and don't fool for the same trap I landed myself in.
till this day, I have lost interest in going out with people from uni, I go to the uni, train stn and home again. I have millions of people I know online who I chat to who I feel safe and they usually first I go to and not my classmate, I feel comfortable sharing online, on reddit, in private groups online ana on forums than I do my own parents at times or a complete stranger over the phone.
