Help advice for partial suspension + overcome SI

[smallcow4rd]

what the title says lol

So, I have the rope. is not as thick but (apparently) its strong enough to hold me and the place where im planning to attach it to my closet which has a metal bar to hang clothes, ive practiced with my wrist so it seems pretty consistent.

The thing is: im still chickening out because there is a chance I fail, and I dont want to be crippled or in the hospital (i doubt the doctors will want to unplug me)

I need advice to make sure it will work.

Also, as of overcome my SI: ive never been able to sh properly or at least the regular way, in 2024 I used to slap/punch my own face and slam my forehead into a wall, but im so tired these days that i can barely do anything of the sort. Just yesterday I tried to cut myself unsuccesfully, with a cutter and sharp objects, but even if I tried hard I couldnt.

Ive come to the conclusion is my SI, so I require advice on how to get rid of it or at least tone it down so I can give my body the treatment it actually deserves.

Thanks in advance, and sorry if the english is shitty or messy, its not my first language.

 

[cbtvvxxvvv]

honestly just heavy drugs and alcohol.

ensure you don't fail. set every fail safe in the event it doesn't go to planned. you will be left in worse shape than now