wheelsonthebus
vroom vroom
- Apr 1, 2022
- 74
I've noticed that lot of the overdosing suggestions include fentanyl for its effectiveness, peacefulness, and notably its accessibility. Additionally, you leave a pretty body, which can be important for some folk, whether for spiritual, familial, or etiquette reasons (less traumatizing for whoever finds you than a GSW). It would absolutely be my method, especially for how sure a thing it is, if the accessibility of the substance was actually so realistic across the board. I understand it varies widely by location, but where I live I think I could only find fent on accident, and then of course you don't know the amount or how it's going to interact with the other substance it's mixed into (that the dealer sold you the fent as).
I'm female and visibly on the younger side, and I can barely buy cigarettes or alcohol with my ID (southern US) without the salesperson scrutinizing it and my face, sure it must be a fake. But I wouldn't have to be babyfaced to be having this issue with illegal sources, it's just that there's not really a safe way to get harder substances directly. If I wanted something safe and recreational, like (literally) organic weed or some shrooms, I can get it through a friend or acquaintance, or a dealer. But the dealers that I am safe purchasing from that I have been able to locate don't even offer adderall (I would probably be less suicidal if they did), so I'd have to go creep on a campus for that--- the frat bros are probably not selling fent. Friends and acquaintances, even if they did know where to find pure or near-pure fentanyl would not be willing to get such an infamous, known-to-be-lethal-in-small-amounts substance for me. Around here, you only get F by accident.
Maybe it's because of the 'tism, and dealers are actually super easy to find and buy from for you non-autistic folk or something, but it took me years to even get access to my own shrooms seller, instead of buying/borrowing/trading from friends' stashes, and I live in a city with a thriving community for that sort of thing. Cops don't even care. But fent?
The only way I can imagine getting it is getting set up with a tor, etc, but I don't trust my abilities to locate a reliable vendor or stay anonymous. Everyone talks about just getting it off the street, but the only thing I'm likely to walk away with if I go that route is an extra traumatizing experience (speaking from experience with the scene. To be clear, this isn't just conjecture.). The only way I'd possibly be safe is because they assumed I was working with the cops (the smoke shops even think this half the time), and I'm definitely not walking away with any then. Actually, I may be less safe in that situation, depending on the seller's headspace at the time.
I wonder if this is one of those things that is just easier to do if you're a male. Less likely someone is going to want something other than cash from you, or will try to pull a fast one on you, or just laugh in your face. Please imagine a short, visibly autistic girl trying to buy fentanyl. Yeah...
I guess I could finish my bartending school and join the industry until the opportunity presents itself, but everyone I know in the industry is just being offered 2cb and coke. I even used to strip and it was just shitty coke that was ever offered. Who even sells fentanyl as fentanyl, and not as a cut substance?
My most realisitic option, then, seems to be GSW to the side of the temple (I am suspicious of targeting the brain stem as we aren't sure that even guillotine victims lose conciousness immediately - brain still takes a while to shut down without bloodflow), but I only own a .380, so I'd need to go purchase a 9 mil or higher caliber, but it's a hell of an investment to have around if I don't use it immediately, I don't want to be on record as owning more than one pistol in the meantime, and storing the .380 is enough of a hassle. And then there's the issue of where to do it because of the gore it will leave, and it's against my standards for myself to traumatize someone like that or destroy property in such a gross way. The people that would be called to scene include those I work/worked with in the past so I also don't want to traumatize my already messed up coworkers. Plus, I have some spiritual beliefs/cultural norms I adhere to that don't jive well with blowing my head off. Fent is the best method for me since I can have it with me if I need a quick out (will spare you the reasons why) and doesn't leave such a scene or require me to get all the way into the woods or something to do it. I can just be comfortable on my way out. But, no fent for me it seems.
Thanks for listening to a terminally ill person yap about not being able to die sooner. Lol.
I'm female and visibly on the younger side, and I can barely buy cigarettes or alcohol with my ID (southern US) without the salesperson scrutinizing it and my face, sure it must be a fake. But I wouldn't have to be babyfaced to be having this issue with illegal sources, it's just that there's not really a safe way to get harder substances directly. If I wanted something safe and recreational, like (literally) organic weed or some shrooms, I can get it through a friend or acquaintance, or a dealer. But the dealers that I am safe purchasing from that I have been able to locate don't even offer adderall (I would probably be less suicidal if they did), so I'd have to go creep on a campus for that--- the frat bros are probably not selling fent. Friends and acquaintances, even if they did know where to find pure or near-pure fentanyl would not be willing to get such an infamous, known-to-be-lethal-in-small-amounts substance for me. Around here, you only get F by accident.
Maybe it's because of the 'tism, and dealers are actually super easy to find and buy from for you non-autistic folk or something, but it took me years to even get access to my own shrooms seller, instead of buying/borrowing/trading from friends' stashes, and I live in a city with a thriving community for that sort of thing. Cops don't even care. But fent?
The only way I can imagine getting it is getting set up with a tor, etc, but I don't trust my abilities to locate a reliable vendor or stay anonymous. Everyone talks about just getting it off the street, but the only thing I'm likely to walk away with if I go that route is an extra traumatizing experience (speaking from experience with the scene. To be clear, this isn't just conjecture.). The only way I'd possibly be safe is because they assumed I was working with the cops (the smoke shops even think this half the time), and I'm definitely not walking away with any then. Actually, I may be less safe in that situation, depending on the seller's headspace at the time.
I wonder if this is one of those things that is just easier to do if you're a male. Less likely someone is going to want something other than cash from you, or will try to pull a fast one on you, or just laugh in your face. Please imagine a short, visibly autistic girl trying to buy fentanyl. Yeah...
I guess I could finish my bartending school and join the industry until the opportunity presents itself, but everyone I know in the industry is just being offered 2cb and coke. I even used to strip and it was just shitty coke that was ever offered. Who even sells fentanyl as fentanyl, and not as a cut substance?
My most realisitic option, then, seems to be GSW to the side of the temple (I am suspicious of targeting the brain stem as we aren't sure that even guillotine victims lose conciousness immediately - brain still takes a while to shut down without bloodflow), but I only own a .380, so I'd need to go purchase a 9 mil or higher caliber, but it's a hell of an investment to have around if I don't use it immediately, I don't want to be on record as owning more than one pistol in the meantime, and storing the .380 is enough of a hassle. And then there's the issue of where to do it because of the gore it will leave, and it's against my standards for myself to traumatize someone like that or destroy property in such a gross way. The people that would be called to scene include those I work/worked with in the past so I also don't want to traumatize my already messed up coworkers. Plus, I have some spiritual beliefs/cultural norms I adhere to that don't jive well with blowing my head off. Fent is the best method for me since I can have it with me if I need a quick out (will spare you the reasons why) and doesn't leave such a scene or require me to get all the way into the woods or something to do it. I can just be comfortable on my way out. But, no fent for me it seems.
Thanks for listening to a terminally ill person yap about not being able to die sooner. Lol.
