Venting About to order SN and I just feel guilty.

[failedmind]

I finally found SN and I'm about to order it but I feel so guilty. Leaving my mom, leaving my nephew. They are my world and I am theirs. It's going to kill them.

I have been suicidal since I was 9 and I'm about to be 24. I am tired. In every single way. I'm so fucking ready to go.

I know that I need to do this, but I can't stop crying as I look at what I'm about to order. Imagining the pain they will feel. Knowing it's my fault that they will be so hurt.

I don't know how to deal with this.

 

[voir2]

If you are so close to your relatives there is certainly hope.
Why do you feel like you have to do it ?

 

[failedmind]

If you are so close to your relatives there is certainly hope.
Why do you feel like you have to do it ?

my mental health is just too much. i dread waking up every morning and always end up crying the moment i wake up. ive tried everything to get help and have been in therapy since i was 11. i just dont know how to deal with the guilt of leaving them behind.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling so tired of it all, I also feel so tired of suffering, I imagine that must be a painful situation to be in. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[failedmind]

I understand feeling so tired of it all, I also feel so tired of suffering, I imagine that must be a painful situation to be in. But anyway I wish you the best.

i wish you the best too. thank you <3

 

[opheliaoveragain]

we're here for you. I can def understand feeling this way.

 

[LostLily]

on the same, boat, I can't handle life and my mind anymore but I don't want to pass the pain.