Challu
Life boat
- Aug 29, 2022
- 260
Ive read the bible, I've been "churched", had my ups and down, but I made my own decision to believe in faith about who Jesus/God is (as revealed in the bible).
Right now, the most difficult thing about this is... feeling that there is an answer to my suicidal/ self-destructive nature.
I feel that God had clearly made it known to me that what I'm choosing isn't "right" or isn't "his will" for me..
So.. *poof* ... should go my suicidial thoughts, right? Cast em away, ask for forgiveness and live like a redeemed person in Christ..
And yet, though the solution is simple.. (turn away from sin and trust in God).. I still have to deal with thoughts that make me feel like a piece of shite. The constant feeling of not being "enough" for God. Not feeling that God wants to "guide" me. Not feeling like I've been called for anything substantial in this world..
I feel like a very pathetic Christian. I don't want to preach. I don't want to proselytize.. in fact, I don't want to do anything with this faith IN THIS WORLD, that could ever make me look like a "Christian". Because its NEVER enough. If I can't go to Heaven, just from believing in Christ, then what is the point of being a Christian. NO ONE should need ANYTHING but JESUS CHRIST.
And for those of you who aren't believers, your eternal destiny shouldn't depend on what you confess while you are alive on Earth. The reasons that you don't believe are not the concern, because JESUS died for all of mans sins. EVEN the sin of UNBELIEF, AND THE SIN of suicide. So, a God who judges his believers for not doing his "will" is unfair and a God who sends people to Hell for any reason whatsoever is corrupt.
I recommend everyone (who cares about it) to learn about Universal Salvation, because it is the only real sensible way to think about God, and the reasoning that I have subscribed to.
Right now, the most difficult thing about this is... feeling that there is an answer to my suicidal/ self-destructive nature.
I feel that God had clearly made it known to me that what I'm choosing isn't "right" or isn't "his will" for me..
So.. *poof* ... should go my suicidial thoughts, right? Cast em away, ask for forgiveness and live like a redeemed person in Christ..
And yet, though the solution is simple.. (turn away from sin and trust in God).. I still have to deal with thoughts that make me feel like a piece of shite. The constant feeling of not being "enough" for God. Not feeling that God wants to "guide" me. Not feeling like I've been called for anything substantial in this world..
I feel like a very pathetic Christian. I don't want to preach. I don't want to proselytize.. in fact, I don't want to do anything with this faith IN THIS WORLD, that could ever make me look like a "Christian". Because its NEVER enough. If I can't go to Heaven, just from believing in Christ, then what is the point of being a Christian. NO ONE should need ANYTHING but JESUS CHRIST.
And for those of you who aren't believers, your eternal destiny shouldn't depend on what you confess while you are alive on Earth. The reasons that you don't believe are not the concern, because JESUS died for all of mans sins. EVEN the sin of UNBELIEF, AND THE SIN of suicide. So, a God who judges his believers for not doing his "will" is unfair and a God who sends people to Hell for any reason whatsoever is corrupt.
I recommend everyone (who cares about it) to learn about Universal Salvation, because it is the only real sensible way to think about God, and the reasoning that I have subscribed to.
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