I'm at a point in my life again where I have a plan to ctb. This time feels different than every other time, because mentally and emotionally I mostly feel fine (for now at least). I just can't think of a single logical and rational reason why I wouldn't go through with this anymore. The only reason there's any hesitation whatsoever is because on rare occasions death does seem slightly terrifying. I suppose I'm just curious if anyone could relate or has any thoughts/advice on this?
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abdelrahman
Member
- Jul 9, 2023
- 26
I feel like I'm in a similar place. Sometimes, I try to pinpoint exactly what it is about death that terrifies me. Often, I rationalize it as me being scared of pain/discomfort. I don't want my final moments to be painful
.
However, given how many methods are relatively quick, I have to ask myself. If I am scared of 10-15 minutes of discomfort, that means I think that this short period of discomfort is not a price worth paying to end my life. Which means, I think life is less painful than those few moments before death.
If this is truly what I think, then I should not CTB, since I think life is a better alternative, FOR NOW
I totally agree. However, I end up wondering if that might just be a basic survival instinct?
abdelrahman
Member
- Jul 9, 2023
- 26
You're right it is a more nuanced question. Obviously SI plays a part, but I believe SI becomes more of a factor once you're actually planning for an attempt. If you're having doubts just thinking about it, it's likely not just SI. Maybe there is something in you that wants to keep putting death off. Even if there is absolutely nothing right now that you want to live for, maybe it's just the idea that there is a possibility for things to get better. Sometimes that's it for me. I have nothing, but the hope that there is 1% chance it could be different is enough for now.Dying is not easy. It's not death I fear but the process and the result if things go wrong
Shaylla1998
Member
- Jul 9, 2023
- 88
In terms of death feeling slightly terrifying and from a somewhat scientific perspective...
Upon death, you will return to the state you were in before your birth, pure darkness. For 13.8 billion years, for you, time passed unnoticed until your arrival into this world. Since then, time has slowed down significantly. The atoms comprising your being, which are approximately 13.8 billion years old, will eventually disperse into space over time after your death. Consequently, your consciousness, or rather your conscious existence, will cease to exist.
While your birth was a tumultuous and chaotic event, your death, disregarding the circumstances that it will be caused by, will be peaceful.
I recall a statement made by my high school headteacher that resonated deeply with me and remains ingrained in my memory: 'Humans don't fear death itself, they fear the unknown force that will cause it.'Similar threads
