Venting A stolen life

[deletedaccount30982]

I don't remember a true childhood innocence. I was severely traumatized by a massive life event caused by my mother at the age of 6. I became an incredibly angry child who was unable to control her temper at home. I was an angel at school, though. 3 years later I became depressed. I've become so desensitized to all of my trauma that often I forget just how young I was. 9 years old. Still just a baby. Not even two full hands of fingers to count my age. And I was slicing my wrists. And by 10 I became suicidal. I had no childhood. It's not like when I'm feeling as awful as I have lately I have a time in my life to look back on and say "I miss feeling like that. Take me back to the good old days". I had none. They were stolen from me. I became so fucked up at such a young age my brain is wired wrong. It's no wonder all treatment has failed. I am beyond repair. I had no chance.

 

[clicktokill]

i never could've been who i truly wanted to be either it's strange right to have everything taken from you before you even knew what you wanted one day we will be who we were supposed to, else where where no one can disturb us

 

[offbalance]

Yeah I too had my childhood destroyed and I've put in such efforts JUST TO TRY AND LIVE A NORMAL LIFE. I don't want to call myself incurable just yet but things have been feeling increasingly futile, pushing me more and more to the edge. Fuck it's been futile it seems, but hope is a funny thing

 

[Not Today Satan]

I 100% feel you. Then my mom had the audacity to say that I deserved it.

 

[CatLvr]

I 100% feel you. Then my mom had the audacity to say that I deserved it.

Yep. It was ALL my fault.

 

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

I'm sorry you went through that, and that you continue to experience the effects of it. Hanging out around here has made me realize that I'm much more privileged than many others, because I can at least think "I had 23 or so years of good life before things went bad", but many people have never really had a good life, even as a child.

 

[Not Today Satan]

Yep. It was ALL my fault.

Yes of course my fault for being a dirty little slut and seducing my dad when I was 4 or 5 years old. Couldn't have been anyone else's fault at all.

 

[CatLvr]

Yes of course my fault for being a dirty little slut and seducing my dad when I was 4 or 5 years old. Couldn't have been anyone else's fault at all.

Oh of course!

 

[future.]

I'm sorry you went through that, and that you continue to experience the effects of it. Hanging out around here has made me realize that I'm much more privileged than many others, because I can at least think "I had 23 or so years of good life before things went bad", but many people have never really had a good life, even as a child.

yea my childhood was absolute dog shit

 

[purpleuser]

We can always compare people's woes and misfortunes to each other, but they are terrible in any measure.

 

[Sat]

I just laugh it off sometimes when the class is asked "what will you do if an alien comes to earth" on home economics, I'm the only one who answered with "make them not come to earth as there are risks" while they said something like happy and bright, this was back in senior high so peeps including me were 16-17.