S
SLADE
Member
- Nov 13, 2023
- 12
I feel like I'm going to be stuck like this forever. Never having accomplished anything in life. I've missed out on so much.
I see all of my past friends getting married, traveling the world, and enjoying what life has to offer. For some reason I can't shake the feeling I'll ctb in the next year or two. Maybe sooner than expected if I really want to or need to. it's a really dark feeling.
My anxiety and depression mixed with OCD has destroyed me. It's made the people around me hate me. Sometimes I try my hardest and it's still not good enough for them. It's exhausting mentally and physically. Sometimes I catch myself fantasizing about dying and the ways I could end it.
The only thing that has stopped me from ctb is someone extremely close to me, but they are dying. When they pass from their disease I'm sure I'll ctb soon after. UNLESS something miraculous happens in my life. That will never happen. Rant over.
I see all of my past friends getting married, traveling the world, and enjoying what life has to offer. For some reason I can't shake the feeling I'll ctb in the next year or two. Maybe sooner than expected if I really want to or need to. it's a really dark feeling.
My anxiety and depression mixed with OCD has destroyed me. It's made the people around me hate me. Sometimes I try my hardest and it's still not good enough for them. It's exhausting mentally and physically. Sometimes I catch myself fantasizing about dying and the ways I could end it.
The only thing that has stopped me from ctb is someone extremely close to me, but they are dying. When they pass from their disease I'm sure I'll ctb soon after. UNLESS something miraculous happens in my life. That will never happen. Rant over.