a question about being remembered

[Lawliet]

as i feel like im entering my endgame, im thinking more about how iwill be remembered. i live in a small community and a lot of people know my parents. i lot of people who i grew up with still live here. i have a few friends and a very large extended family. im torn between wanting to be remembered and wishing i was less involved with other humans. i know that my mom and little brother will be devastated. i have two nephews and a niece who i will leave behind. the oldest, i believe it will be his first major death and he's old enough to remember it. the other two, not so much. i feel guilty leaving people behind. but im so physically and mentally ill, have been for a long time. it's not right for people to expect me to continue on when i have no answers and no relief. im in pain 24/7.

on this site, i hope that i've helped at least one person out. i'm so grateful for this community. so many have helped me here.

 

[jodes2]

Id leave without causing pain if I could. I'm going to have to stick around for a while so not to hurt others

 

[neoyokio]

as i feel like im entering my endgame, im thinking more about how iwill be remembered. i live in a small community and a lot of people know my parents. i lot of people who i grew up with still live here. i have a few friends and a very large extended family. im torn between wanting to be remembered and wishing i was less involved with other humans. i know that my mom and little brother will be devastated. i have two nephews and a niece who i will leave behind. the oldest, i believe it will be his first major death and he's old enough to remember it. the other two, not so much. i feel guilty leaving people behind. but im so physically and mentally ill, have been for a long time. it's not right for people to expect me to continue on when i have no answers and no relief. im in pain 24/7.

on this site, i hope that i've helped at least one person out. i'm so grateful for this community. so many have helped me here.

I'm feeling this internal conflict too, thanks for sharing It's really hard to process.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, I see it as being ideal to be forgotten about, I never want to be remembered, if I was able to I would choose to completely disappear and have my existence be erased, like I was never here at all. But it could never matter to me what happens in this world after I die as I simply wouldn't be there to experience it.

 

[hiddenbpd]

If I wasn't worried about the affect it'll have on others, I'd already be dead. I'd love to know that people would forget about me.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's a very difficult question. As a 'thing', I find it terribly tragic and upsetting when people die and no one even notices. Those cases of people passing away in their homes and not being found for years sometimes.

There again, I wouldn't want to create a lot of grief for those left behind- which I suspect a suicide would. I guess it would be ideal if people could remember the happy memories without feeling sad but unfortunately, it doesn't work like that.

 

[Euthanza]

I don't know how I will be remembered, which part of me? What version or point of view?
I can't control people, however it feels good when I'm being remembered when I'm still alive that I choose to dissapear forever.

 

[Cathy Ames]

I'm afraid we don't really get to control whether or not (or HOW) we'll be remembered or how other people will react.

 

[theboy]

Forgotten 4ever

 

[Lawliet]

I'm afraid we don't really get to control whether or not (or HOW) we'll be remembered or how other people will react.

you're right, which is really frustrating. i think a lot can be said in a final note, a post, or what have you.

i want to be remembered, but not as a suicide victim. but at the same time, if my death can be used to rally people to causes such as trans rights and access to better medical care, that would be different. but i fully believe my trans identity will be erased when i go. i'm not out to many people

 

[Ashu]

If I wasn't worried about the affect it'll have on others, I'd already be dead. I'd love to know that people would forget about me.

How do you think they'll feel?

 

[hiddenbpd]

How do you think they'll feel?

They'd blame themselves probably. That's the one I'm most worried about.

 

[Ai-chan]

I feel this too. For some people I end up feeling guilty about the pain and devastation they will feel when I'm finally gone. For others I feel icky because I know that they'll only remember some version of me that either they themselves painted or someone else painted for them. Admittedly there is also a part of me that relishes the fact that certain people will be in mourning and will wonder what it is that they did wrong, and my answer for them is "what didn't you do wrong?"

 

[Lavender Dreams]

Hard question, although I think causing grief. Purely because it's a part of what makes us human, I couldn't imagine a society where my loved ones could cbt and nobody would notice. It has its place and purpose, suffering is a driver behind change. We're already so desensitised to preventable issues that all we have is those mental health virtue signalling organisations and random social media awareness posts, which tell you... Absolutely nothing. Gaslighting on a mass scale. It's nauseating.