A poll. Why do you want CTB?

[OptingOutSmiling]

I chose Other - I guess there just isn't a point anymore. Gave up on life as I knew it when the one person I wanted to be with decided to leave my world. Trying to make a new world turned out to be without meaning, and the thread of hope or even possibility to survive becoming thinner. Only blackness in future and not seeing any opportunities in the present despite trying. It's like existing became empty, like being in a random shell of a body. Seeing myself as more of a failure by the day, just getting up becoming an effort, because no matter how many small steps I give forward life comes with a giant shove backwards showing me that nothing matters. That I'm nothing and that I'm only making myself tired trying.

 

[whytrymyguy]

A shorter list would be reasons I don't want to CTB.

 

[Valhala]

The end of the relationship with the only woman I truly loved in my life. I initiated the breakup, several times due to my impatience and recklessness. She hurt herself and was disappointed in me (rightly), she doesn't believe that I really love her, and I feel meaningless without her everything.

 

[human909]

The reason why i want to ctb is because i hate myself. I feel like i do nothing right and only try to hurt people even though i don't mean too. There have also been some stuff that i did that i can never forgive myself with, I can't wait to sleep forever.

 

[strangelife]

I love life, but I can't live in constant physical pain it is unbeatable, now I don't have life it is torture

 

[weldermike]

Sad all the time but I have 4 beautiful children

 

[alltoomuch2]

Mental pain, loneliness, self loathing, no purpose. I am autistic but only found out after 60 years of struggling and being rejected and not knowing why. An abusive childhood had repercussions which led to continued abuse throughout my life. Add an alcoholic father who made violent attempts to ctb multiple times, my own bpd and cptsd. I have no friends. My family all have mental health problems. None of them are supportive but expect me to support them when they bother to make contact which is rare. I hate myself. I hate my life. And I see no sign that things will improve. The only thing that's stopped me so far is that in the UK it takes hours for medical help to arrive even if you've had a heart attack so if I drink sn that's effectively the end of me, even if I regret it immediately and call for help. The help will not arrive in time. I'm scared in case I regret drinking it.

 

[Rust]

Money issues should be my main reason currently, since my loving family tricked me into a substantial amount of debt for their own benefit. Somehow this doesn't bother me though. I guess a category of "tired" would fit me best. Every time I overcome some problem, life seems to throw me a new issue. I feel like I've been running on empty for over a decade now and the world just expects me to keep sprinting. My life circumstances are also the best they've been in a long time, which depresses me, since this is probably as good as it's going to get.

If I missed it, I'm sorry and this can be deleted

I haven't posted in a while, but this thread peaked my interest. So thank you for making it. I would vote not to delete it even if the question was asked before.