Watcher

Watcher

Student
Nov 17, 2018
132
Guys I need some help. This week has been a little bit hard. I didn't make too much. The problem is that my parents are taking me out (forcing me to get out) from home. My father said that I'm weak, a disgrace for him. ¿ What I'm supposed to do ? In first place, he forced me to study his fucked up career. Before that I was already suffering anxiety without knowing it, I told them that I hated the school I was assisting. So to resume, I'm here four years later, stagnant in major depression and social phobia. I can't continue with this, I hate this fucked up pills. I hate my religious fanatic family. I hate me for being to weak my whole life. I hate the big scar across my belly (product of a neglect of them when I was kid)... I've tried my best to get a job, my best to improve my career (I was studying two, philosophy and laws). But I couldn't make it. Depression won. I don't want to live anymore, four years (maybe more) living with this shit is enough for me. I'm sorry fucking word that I was a retard without knowing it! .l. (Autism spectrum disorder).

Please, this is the moment, I have a bunch of alprazolam ( I was planing to buy SN the next week, but if they throw me out, I will not have money to buy it...) Someone knows a easy way? A definitive way to ctb? I have a exit bag prepared too, but because of the tests I've made before, I think that I don't have enough gas to make it. Maybe only if I use the propane from stove...
 
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hamednova

I did it for the lulzs
Apr 22, 2019
124
You can't die off benzos. You should really stall for time to buy sn. (sodium nitrite) If you can't hanging is a very cheap method.
Also you seem like you live in the midwest us states where gun control is very lax. Have some usd on hand and walk to the closest gun store to buy a 12ga shotgun and 1 shotgun shell.
 
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JoeFailure

Mage
Apr 29, 2019
574
Guys I need some help. This week has been a little bit hard. I didn't make too much. The problem is that my parents are taking me out (forcing me to get out) from home. My father said that I'm weak, a disgrace for him. ¿ What I'm supposed to do ? In first place, he forced me to study his fucked up career. Before that I was already suffering anxiety without knowing it, I told them that I hated the school I was assisting. So to resume, I'm here four years later, stagnant in major depression and social phobia. I can't continue with this, I hate this fucked up pills. I hate my religious fanatic family. I hate me for being to weak my whole life. I hate the big scar across my belly (product of a neglect of them when I was kid)... I've tried my best to get a job, my best to improve my career (I was studying two, philosophy and laws). But I couldn't make it. Depression won. I don't want to live anymore, four years (maybe more) living with this shit is enough for me. I'm sorry fucking word that I was a retard without knowing it! .l. (Autism spectrum disorder).

Please, this is the moment, I have a bunch of alprazolam ( I was planing to buy SN the next week, but if they throw me out, I will not have money to buy it...) Someone knows a easy way? A definitive way to ctb? I have a exit bag prepared too, but because of the tests I've made before, I think that I don't have enough gas to make it. Maybe only if I use the propane from stove...

I understand the pain, I'm in a lot of it myself and it takes everything I have not to just find a high building to jump off of right now. But please make sure you find the best way if you really are going to do it because you don't want to screw it up and be in a really bad spot health-wise after.

You sound like you're still young, would you be able to just cut ties with your family? I understand the money part of it but depending where you are, is there any type of government assistance or anything you can get?
 
H

hamednova

I did it for the lulzs
Apr 22, 2019
124
I understand the pain, I'm in a lot of it myself and it takes everything I have not to just find a high building to jump off of right now. But please make sure you find the best way if you really are going to do it because you don't want to screw it up and be in a really bad spot health-wise after.

You sound like you're still young, would you be able to just cut ties with your family? I understand the money part of it but depending where you are, is there any type of government assistance or anything you can get?
Naw his parents are the crazy christan type in the usa. If hes disabled its unlikly he or she can ever be independent from them. Good thing that in these types of us states, shotguns are easy to acquire.

It is however, HIS CHOICE TO MAKE. IF he wants to die, so be it. If he wants to live, its HIS CHOICE TOO.
 
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JoeFailure

Mage
Apr 29, 2019
574
Naw his parents are the crazy christan type in the usa. If hes disabled its unlikly he or she can ever be independent from them. Good thing that in these types of us states, shotguns are easy to acquire.

It is however, HIS CHOICE TO MAKE. IF he wants to die, so be it. If he wants to live, its HIS CHOICE TOO.

I totally understand it's his choice, I've never told anyone here what to do, just hoping they've explored every option, just like I'm grateful that people tell me the same thing. I'm barely hanging on by a thread but I appreciate when people do chime in on my situation.

Also, when the pain is at those unbearable levels, people sometimes rush or do things recklessly, as I almost have a couple of times. I've literally scouted at hotels at times to see if there's a high enough room I feel like I could die from because I don't think I can make it another minute. But I think that's when mistakes can happen so that's really all I'm telling him is to be sure about what he's doing, as incredibly hard as it is through all the suffering.
 
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sunny.sativa

sunny.sativa

organic
Apr 2, 2019
317
You're such a fighter. My brother has mild autism, and I have to say, he's one of the smartest damn human beings I've ever known. You're no retard, darlin.

I'm pretty mad about your dad saying that to you. How can someone that claims to be holy or whatever treat their child so horribly..

There's nothing easy about taking your life. You do it or you don't, no matter what method you choose, it's gonna suck and it's probably going to either hurt or be very uncomfortable, unless you've got big money, and we know that, unfortunately, not many of us do.

Your choice is yours, of course. I'm not trying to persuade you one way or the other, but I do wanna say that you could get past this, into a life you've built for yourself. I don't wanna ramble on, I just know you're capable. You studied law and philosophy. Only badasses do that. The rest of us study cosmetology cause we're lazy fucks lmao.

Also, scars are rad, in my humble opinion. Mine are self-inflicted so they're not fun to display, either.

Do what you will, I support you. I think you're rad, guy. xx
 
A

Allpainnogain

Experienced
May 2, 2019
203
You're such a fighter. My brother has mild autism, and I have to say, he's one of the smartest damn human beings I've ever known. You're no retard, darlin.

I'm pretty mad about your dad saying that to you. How can someone that claims to be holy or whatever treat their child so horribly..

There's nothing easy about taking your life. You do it or you don't, no matter what method you choose, it's gonna suck and it's probably going to either hurt or be very uncomfortable, unless you've got big money, and we know that, unfortunately, not many of us do.

Your choice is yours, of course. I'm not trying to persuade you one way or the other, but I do wanna say that you could get past this, into a life you've built for yourself. I don't wanna ramble on, I just know you're capable. You studied law and philosophy. Only badasses do that. The rest of us study cosmetology cause we're lazy fucks lmao.

Also, scars are rad, in my humble opinion. Mine are self-inflicted so they're not fun to display, either.

Do what you will, I support you. I think you're rad, guy. xx
If you have money, how is it easier?
 
sunny.sativa

sunny.sativa

organic
Apr 2, 2019
317
If you have money, how is it easier?
Everything's easier with money, that's a well-known fact. You can afford euthanizing drugs, nicer set ups, even take yourself on vacation before you CTB.
 
A

Allpainnogain

Experienced
May 2, 2019
203
Yeah thats true. The mess and the horror for the people who found me. But for me its the quickest way.
Also way too nervous and anxious to go to a gun store and buy anything. I know nothing of guns either so it would be obvious I don't know what I'm doing and along with anxiety raise suspicion
 

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