Venting 5th July

[timetodie24]

There's been a new message in my head on repeat '5th July, they're all gonna die, 5th July' . I'd originally thought they wanted me gone in June but I got it wrong. Now they want me gone by my birthday (august) but then Idk how that fits with people dying on 5th July as that's too late.
They're amping up the visions (just mental images) of me hurting strangers and telling me very specific illnesses or accidents that will happen to family and they'll die. So can't risk anything. And they changed the message 'not for 1, for 6, for none' into 'all for 1, for 6, for none' and now I don't understand the difference in what they want me to do. I'm really confused even more so now. I think I can't sleep until the 6th now as I need to work out who I save and how. I think I need to do something to save people but also stay alive before July 5 . But then ctb later July so still before my birthday. I just need to figure the clues .

I don't need advice or armchair diagnosis. Just needed to get this out somewhere as it's all driving me crazy.
Although any ideas on what the messages mean are appreciated but not expected.

 

[indefinitesleep2]

you playin? if not ur prolly having a psychotic break

 

[timetodie24]

you playin? if not ur prolly having a psychotic break

That has been ruled out by professionals.

All I need to do is decode the messages.

 

[ferrie]

July 5th is probably going to be my ctb date, so seeing the title of this thread was a little bit of a shock lol.

The messages you describe always sound so confusing. Has anything else changed in them? Does the info from the voices you hear usually match the visions you see? Has anything significant changed in your life? You don't have to respond to any of that, just things to think about that might help explain what you're experiencing.

Always glad to see an update from you. I'm sorry people always try to argue with you about psychosis. It clearly doesn't help anything

 

[indefinitesleep2]

July 5th is probably going to be my ctb date, so seeing the title of this thread was a little bit of a shock lol.

The messages you describe always sound so confusing. Has anything else changed in them? Does the info from the voices you hear usually match the visions you see? Has anything significant changed in your life? You don't have to respond to any of that, just things to think about that might help explain what you're experiencing.

Always glad to see an update from you. I'm sorry people always try to argue with you about psychosis. It clearly doesn't help anything

why are you encouraging them? if they arent joking its clearly some type of psychosis dont feed their delusions thats not helping anyone

That has been ruled out by professionals.

All I need to do is decode the messages.

get help please bro

 

[ferrie]

why are you encouraging them? if they arent joking its clearly some type of psychosis dont feed their delusions thats not helping anyone

get help please bro

How am I encouraging her? Asking her questions about what she's experiencing isn't encouraging anything, even if it was delusions. Acknowledging that OP hears voices that cause distress is not the same thing as encouraging psychosis. Every time OP makes a post, the majority of the replies are people aggressively trying to convince her that she has psychosis, and clearly that's not going to help anyone. All I'm doing is being empathetic bc at the end of the day what she's going through sounds extremely stressful no matter what the source is

 

[indefinitesleep2]

How am I encouraging her? Asking her questions about what she's experiencing isn't encouraging anything, even if it was delusions. Acknowledging that OP hears voices that cause distress is not the same thing as encouraging psychosis. Every time OP makes a post, the majority of the replies are people aggressively trying to convince her that she has psychosis, and clearly that's not going to help anyone. All I'm doing is being empathetic bc at the end of the day what she's going through sounds extremely stressful no matter what the source is

i get that but often times you just have to be blunt and say what theyr experiencing doesnt sound real otherwise you can just confuse them and it adds to the narrative, from having psychosis myself to family that had it is where i speak from

 

[dolemitedrums]

This is so obviously psychosis that people are wondering if you are a troll pretending to have psychosis. The team of professionals failed you. That is clear to almoost everybody but you. Please don't continue down this path.

 

[timetodie24]

July 5th is probably going to be my ctb date, so seeing the title of this thread was a little bit of a shock lol.

The messages you describe always sound so confusing. Has anything else changed in them? Does the info from the voices you hear usually match the visions you see? Has anything significant changed in your life? You don't have to respond to any of that, just things to think about that might help explain what you're experiencing.

Always glad to see an update from you. I'm sorry people always try to argue with you about psychosis. It clearly doesn't help anything

Thank you so much for your understanding and empathy, as always. I really appreciate it, even when it hasn't seemed like I do as difficult to trust others atm.
I don't see others issue with your response as throughout my threads you've never forced any views and just gently encouraged me to consider all possibilities, including seeing professionals about psychosis. You're one of few people who realises the arguing goes nowhere and actually makes things worse for me.

If 5th July is your final day, I really hope everything goes smoothly and that you find peace. Although, I will be sad to see you go.

 

[ferrie]

i get that but often times you just have to be blunt and say what theyr experiencing doesnt sound real otherwise you can just confuse them and it adds to the narrative, from having psychosis myself to family that had it is where i speak from

I have multiple family members who have schizophrenia & outright telling them that what they're experiencing isn't real has always been discouraged by their doctors bc that can also make it worse. But you also can't apply personal experience to everyone else, especially online without the context. Telling someone you know who's been diagnosed that they're experiencing psychosis is very different than trying to convince a stranger online that they have psychosis when they say they've been evaluated & didn't meet the criteria. This isn't on you, but I've seen people get pretty aggressive trying to argue with OP for at least the past month. At this point it's not helpful & just causes more stress

Thank you so much for your understanding and empathy, as always. I really appreciate it, even when it hasn't seemed like I do as difficult to trust others atm.
I don't see others issue with your response as throughout my threads you've never forced any views and just gently encouraged me to consider all possibilities, including seeing professionals about psychosis. You're one of few people who realises the arguing goes nowhere and actually makes things worse for me.

If 5th July is your final day, I really hope everything goes smoothly and that you find peace. Although, I will be sad to see you go.

No worries, I totally get the distrust with everything you're going through. I'm glad that I can be somewhat of a positive presence though My biggest priority will always be to empathize, so I'm glad that my intentions do come across.

Thank you, I appreciate the well wishes. My date keeps getting pushed back so we'll see, but I feel ready. I hope that you're able to find some peace as well. I'm glad that you went to your appointments but bummed that they weren't able to help you. Hopefully you're able to find some relief from all the stress you're going through soon. It's been nice to sporadically speak to you & I wish you all the best as always

 

[timetodie24]

There's been a new message in my head on repeat '5th July, they're all gonna die, 5th July' . I'd originally thought they wanted me gone in June but I got it wrong. Now they want me gone by my birthday (august) but then Idk how that fits with people dying on 5th July as that's too late.
They're amping up the visions (just mental images) of me hurting strangers and telling me very specific illnesses or accidents that will happen to family and they'll die. So can't risk anything. And they changed the message 'not for 1, for 6, for none' into 'all for 1, for 6, for none' and now I don't understand the difference in what they want me to do. I'm really confused even more so now. I think I can't sleep until the 6th now as I need to work out who I save and how. I think I need to do something to save people but also stay alive before July 5 . But then ctb later July so still before my birthday. I just need to figure the clues .

I don't need advice or armchair diagnosis. Just needed to get this out somewhere as it's all driving me crazy.
Although any ideas on what the messages mean are appreciated but not expected.

Ok so figured out the 'all for 1…' message actually corresponds better to the road name/number I had decoded from message before. So that just confirms that. What I have to do to tomorrow is still unclear as there is more they want me to do before they'll allow ctb.
So many things to still work out but I'm relieved message backs up what I already knew.