This is my first time posting here. I've been coming here just to read and find connection.
I'm 39 male from Arizona and I've been dealing with depression for sometime now. Im in therapy right now going every week. Im on medication and I don't think it's really working.
Im a father of 3 and have a GF of 9 years. People would say I have a great life but mentally and emotionally I'm alone.
If you get it then you get it. When I say I feel alone, it feels like I'm uncomfortable in my own body and feel small.
I had a great childhood, my parents have been married for 45 years. I have an older brother and sister. Somewhere along the way I would say in my 20's I started to feel depressed.
The only person I share everything with is with my therapist. I feel like she understands or maybe she has to cause it's a business.
This whole mental awareness month is a bunch of bullshit and a way for people just to post on social media for the likes.
Do people really care when they ask -"hey how are you doing?"
I normally just say good so they can move on. Because in reality im not good and im struggling but no one really wants to hear that.
Fathers day last year, the week of, I was going to kill myself. I was right where I was going to do it and had my gun in my hand.
What stopped me was a car pulled up a few spaces down and the passenger looked right at me and just waved.
So this brings me the present day. I guess from a test I took in severely depressed.
I have decided to find peace on August 2025. On my 40th birthday. I won't be found and that's what I want.
I am mentally tired and exhausted. I only get about 3 hours of sleep each night.
My kids are wonderful and I hope none of them feel like this ever.
I don't want sympathy. Im
Not looking for "everyone loves you".
Im good with my decision.
Im going to find peace.
Well if you want to just chat message me or whatever.
I'll respond the best I can.
Until next time
Cheers!
I'm 39 male from Arizona and I've been dealing with depression for sometime now. Im in therapy right now going every week. Im on medication and I don't think it's really working.
Im a father of 3 and have a GF of 9 years. People would say I have a great life but mentally and emotionally I'm alone.
If you get it then you get it. When I say I feel alone, it feels like I'm uncomfortable in my own body and feel small.
I had a great childhood, my parents have been married for 45 years. I have an older brother and sister. Somewhere along the way I would say in my 20's I started to feel depressed.
The only person I share everything with is with my therapist. I feel like she understands or maybe she has to cause it's a business.
This whole mental awareness month is a bunch of bullshit and a way for people just to post on social media for the likes.
Do people really care when they ask -"hey how are you doing?"
I normally just say good so they can move on. Because in reality im not good and im struggling but no one really wants to hear that.
Fathers day last year, the week of, I was going to kill myself. I was right where I was going to do it and had my gun in my hand.
What stopped me was a car pulled up a few spaces down and the passenger looked right at me and just waved.
So this brings me the present day. I guess from a test I took in severely depressed.
I have decided to find peace on August 2025. On my 40th birthday. I won't be found and that's what I want.
I am mentally tired and exhausted. I only get about 3 hours of sleep each night.
My kids are wonderful and I hope none of them feel like this ever.
I don't want sympathy. Im
Not looking for "everyone loves you".
Im good with my decision.
Im going to find peace.
Well if you want to just chat message me or whatever.
I'll respond the best I can.
Until next time
Cheers!
