Noooo. Please don't listen to them. I dont listen to mine when he's telling me to do bad stuff, even though he's taken over most of my head. He's good for support and knows me best of anyone but I don't trust him to always do the right thing and you shouldn't trust yours.
I can't let others die just so I can be a coward though
I don't know that they will do that. I think they're just trying to prove they can control you. But I only know my own and I only have one. Maybe 2 but haven't seen the second for a while and it never said anything.
Sorry you have struggled with voices too.
I can. Suppose it's easier because I don't have friends and live far from remaining family so no celebrations. It's more like I decide to have my birthday one day, rather than putting it off. But then there's the birthday when you came out into the world, and there's conception day when the egg and sperm got together, and the heart day when you first grew a heart before you were born. Many important days. But yeah, I can move my birthday. I just decide. I didn't know other people couldn't do that. That's a shame. I can have my birthday when it's the weather I like, and/or when I'm feeling good
I appreciate you sharing that , i'll take a look as admit does sound similar but you know my view on that already. I can't afford private psych, my parents would pay but don't think they could really afford it long term and I already rely on them for everything else. So would feel too guilty. Even so don't have the time left take to find psych, get assessment and if somehow they decide psychosis, the time it'd take for meds to work. As, if i'm right, many would be dead by then.
Do you think you would feel safe in a hospital or psych ward, so you could get some sleep and rest?
It's fine i got like 4hrs last night in the end so still getting sleep every night. I'd feel more unsafe in hospital/psych ward , definitely not get rest there
still here. idk, Thursday is the last day I'll get a chance before deadline but it'd better to do it asap incase any issues, already leaving too late
If you're not ready to go, I really hope you back out or tell someone about your plan. I know the crisis team isn't a good option, but hopefully there is another way to get help. It isn't selfish or cowardly to not want to die tomorrow. You are only responsible for yourself & your own actions, and I think the best thing you could do right now is not go through with CTB when you don't want to do it
Idk what I'll do. Will see how I feel in the morning. At least if I do it though , I never have to deal with this confusion or fear again.
Please keep us updated and try to get some rest tonight to think clearly on it in the morning. My dms are always open & I'm sure people here are more than willing to listen if you need to vent or want to talk through your options
Definitely second this, you've said before that talking isn't all that helpful at this stage which is understandable. Get some rest and re evaluate tomorrow, my DMs are open too.
If you feel against it, I really don't think you should do it. I support your right to CTB if that's what you choose, but you obviously don't want to do it in this manner. I know you feel like you have to do this, but you can also tell that something is wrong. Again there is nothing cowardly or selfish about not going through with this. You are only responsible for yourself & your own actions, not for anything the voices tell you. You don't have to do this if it's not actually what you want to do
I hope I'm wrong as well.This is heart-wrenchingly sad. I really hope we're wrong and they're back on here tomorrow. NHS you failed this lovely person, and failed badly
