Venting 3 more days

[hatehypocrisy]

I'm just so nervous that I'm going to fail. I'm doing everything I can not to and I'll have my backup glass ready to drink. I just hope my husband forgives me. So many thoughts and emotions are going through my head today. I'm supposed to be working today but I can't, my brain is going to crazy. Thankfully I'm working from home today. I'm for sure at peace with my decision.

Before you do it, adequate preparation is required. Like me, I thought I had everything prepared, but I was so wrong. I'm always unlucky, even CTB.

 

[Hollowillow]

I've given up on doctors. They make me feel crazy honestly. I kept postponing holding out hope that I might feel better but I've lost all motivation. Im far from lazy but I can't get myself up to do anything. My only relief now will be to die.

I don't have any kids. My legacy isn't worth living on anyway

Doctors are clueless and blame victims of society's cruelty. I don't have kids either. I'm happy to know you.

 

[Idontmatter]

Before you do it, adequate preparation is required. Like me, I thought I had everything prepared, but I was so wrong. I'm always unlucky, even CTB.

I've definitely been preparing. I've got my scale, measuring glasses, painkillers, I have an over the counter ae but it's at least something. That backup glass of sn seems to be the key. I'm spending time with our dog today. He is helping me keep calm today

 

[hatehypocrisy]

I've definitely been preparing. I've got my scale, measuring glasses, painkillers, I have an over the counter ae but it's at least something. That backup glass of sn seems to be the key. I'm spending time with our dog today. He is helping me keep calm today

That's good! It seems that your determination is very strong. If you do, I hope you can do it the first time and succeed.
How nice! You have a dog that can keep you calm. Where's your husband?

 

[Idontmatter]

That's good! It seems that your determination is very strong. If you do, I hope you can do it the first time and succeed.
How nice! You have a dog that can keep you calm. Where's your husband?

He is at work. We are going to dinner tonight, sadly he won't know that this will be his last with me.

 

[hatehypocrisy]

He is at work. We are going to dinner tonight, sadly he won't know that this will be his last with me.

How sad...
I envy you, you have a husband and a dog to accompany you before you go.

 

[Hope:-)]

Thinking of you at this time.

 

[Saturn's Rings]

Good luck...lots of love x

 

[Idontmatter]

I have all of my suicide goodies all packed up. I'll be having to pack clothes that I won't need so that I keep the illusion that I'm going on a business trip. I think I'm more nervous than I am scared. Thanks to all of you for putting up with me on this journey and helping me keep my nerves lowered. It's almost over, about 3 pm eastern time Sunday I'll be drinking the sn and finishing up my journey to either an after life or to non existence.

 

[Idontmatter]

Trying to be sociable on a Friday night when you are about to ctb is a pain in the ass. Trying to tough it out since it's my last night with my husband.

 

[Hollowillow]

Trying to be sociable on a Friday night when you are about to ctb is a pain in the ass. Trying to tough it out since it's my last night with my husband.

If it's a pain and not a sorrow then I think you're making the right decision. I wish you peace Thank you for sharing with us.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

The only thing I would caution you about is not acting or saying anything different to your husband, or anyone else, that could tip them off that something may be up. Sometimes that kind of thing just happens organically, especially in a situation like this, and it you may not have control blurting out something inadvertently, that gives your plans away, or, at least, raises suspicions. I think rehearsal is your friend in this case.

 

[Idontmatter]

The only thing I would caution you about is not acting or saying anything different to your husband, or anyone else, that could tip them off that something may be up. Sometimes that kind of thing just happens organically, especially in a situation like this, and it you may not have control blurting out something inadvertently, that gives your plans away, or, at least, raises suspicions. I think rehearsal is your friend in this case.

I definitely agree. Everything is going as it normally does so he doesn't suspect anything. Makes me feel guilty but it has to be this way sadly

 

[lifeisbutadream]

Must you do it? It seems that there's someone who loves you very much here on Earth.