Last week my partner made the decision to CTB in our home after I tried to end the relationship. As you can imagine, the guilt and regret are unbearable. I have lived with depression and suicidal ideation for many years - problems which predate my partner's death by a long while - but this event has only increased their strength. For the first time I find myself making a definite plan to CTB myself. I know that the feelings I am having are at their peak since my partner's death is still very fresh in my mind, so I am going to give myself 3 months to fully digest what has happened. If I still see no signs of recovery, then I don't think I will be able to continue.
I have already had a look around this site for information on different methods, and I am thankful to have found this community.
Regardless of the outcome, I look forward to meeting more people here who can understand and relate to my situation.
I have already had a look around this site for information on different methods, and I am thankful to have found this community.
Regardless of the outcome, I look forward to meeting more people here who can understand and relate to my situation.
I'm sorry that happened, but good on you for giving yourself time to process everything instead of acting on impulses. I'm wishing you the best and peace, whatever the outcome may be. 
