Story 2 year anniversary

[(wfsth?)]

Once again, it's around the time of year where I previously attempted to CTB. Already described the circumstances in last years post, so won't go into detail there. Mostly just posting this to reflect on how so much and yet so little has changed since then. My living situation is completely different, I have an end goal in mind in terms of education and career, and I'm overall doing fairly well in everyday life. I'm for the most part clean from self harm, save the rare instances every few months, and looking at my life objectively, it seems to be better. And yet for some reason, I am still not happy, not content. It's just so strange to me that even though so many complaints I had with my life have been resolved, I am none the happier for it. Perhaps there is this "call of the void", that once compelled me to jump off that tree, noose around neck, and since then, I have landed in the void. It's this that makes me wonder if I will even feel content once I achieve what I am working for. My heart tells me "yes, most certainly", but as always, my brain is skeptical. Thanks for reading this far and will see you in another year.

 

[carac]

Happy anniversary it's been 1 year for me according to my medical record. A lot has changed since then, physicaly I am in a much better place, like it has been amazing my recovery from all my physcial health problems. I am still left with the feeling of worthlessness and not knowing where I fit in, although I think I have found a place here, it's been up and down but I have benefited greatly.