1 more day till the bus arrives

[metalchic_74]

I woke up this morning feeling very anxious. I'm not scared to ctb I'm more scared something will go wrong. I do not want to survive this attempt. I have to be successful because I absolutely do not want to be locked up in some psych hospital or have my parents kick me out. I would be homeless.
So here is my plan for tomorrow...
I will fast for 8 hours starting early in the afternoon. This is gonna be tricky. I know my parents will ask me why I'm not eating dinner. I thought I would just pretend to act sick so they won't be suspicious.
I will take 300 mg of Quetiapine and a handful of Ativan around 10 pm
800 mg of Tagamet at 10:30
30g SN in 100 ml of water at 11 pm
My parents bedroom is upstairs, they usually go to bed between 9-10 pm. They use a fan so I doubt they will hear anything.
I'm gonna lock my door. I usually sleep in till 9-10 am so they won't even know I'm dead in my room. My mom has painting class Monday mornings so she'll be gone until around 1pm. My dad usually goes hunting but he never checks up on me. So I'm guessing I prob won't be found till late morning early afternoon.
I only wrote 1 note and it's for my sister. I have detailed instructions and my final wishes. I wrote her a check to clear out my bank account so she has the funds for my funeral. I would rather put her in charge of my final affairs. I don't want that stress on my 70 year old dad.
I'm at peace with leaving this shithole
I have comfort knowing I have a wonderful support network here. I will keep every one updated as the day progresses tomorrow. I just thank god I found this site. The love and compassion here is nothing I've ever experienced. I know ya'll will be with me during my final minutes
Thank you!!!!

 

[SoupSnakes]

You seem to have really thought this through. I hope that your decision brings you peace x

 

[passenger27]

I wish you the best

 

[mediocre]

30 mg of SN? was that a typo? It should be in grams. I plan on 20g in 50ml water. That should be enough.

 

[bigj75]

30 mg of SN? was that a typo? It should be in grams. I plan on 20g in 50ml water. That should be enough.

Yae it should be grams

 

[metalchic_74]

30 mg of SN? was that a typo? It should be in grams. I plan on 20g in 50ml water. That should be enough.

Lol yeah I meant grams I fixed it

 

[LastWhisper]

Good luck!

 

[Jean4]

I'm in New York too... and will be here for you..

 

[okaoki]

i wishing you a peaceful exit .

 

[Neverod]

Damn, happy and sad to see you go. Hope you are able to do what you want in the end.

 

[JimFord99]

Well thought through, sure it will work for you. Blessed be and all the best, thanks for sharing you story.

 

[Are you lost too?]

I hope it's smooth sailing, and that you can find the peace you deserve.

 

[itistimetoleave]

Isn't 30 g a lot?

 

[Qdv]

I'm in New York too... and will be here for you..

Also a fellow New Yorker, my thoughts will be with you <3

 

[metalchic_74]

Isn't 30 g a lot?

I'll prob use closer to 25g

 

[Nikoson]

I've taken 50g with me, will mix it all up and drink half. The other half is as a backup if required.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

My best wishes go out to you. Gonna miss your badass username and comments. Have a smooth trip. x

 

[Meant2Die]

I'm on the east coast so l will certainly be thinking of you and wishing you the best as well.
Just a question, a handful of Ativan? Can you function with that much for another hour?

 

[TrailerTrash]

Wishing you peace and whatever outcome you desire when the SN intake decision time comes. Maybe not a "thing" and not wanting to irritate, but not sure it will be legal for someone to cash a check from an individual's account after they have passed. Assets have restrictions, particularly those not titled in a trust must go through probate regardless of whether a will/testament exists. Just a thought if you're not wanting to burden others with expenses. Again, peace to you .....

 

[Essence]

I wish you a peaceful journey @metalchic_74

 

[Nem]

Holyfuckingshit, hope it's anxiety free
Peace/hugs

 

[Ark]

Hoping you find the peace you deserve.

 

[PDAnnie2610]

Wishing you peace.

 

[metalchic_74]

I'm on the east coast so l will certainly be thinking of you and wishing you the best as well.
Just a question, a handful of Ativan? Can you function with that much for another hour?

Yeah I've been on a high dose so I'll be fine. It will just help me relax

Wishing you peace and whatever outcome you desire when the SN intake decision time comes. Maybe not a "thing" and not wanting to irritate, but not sure it will be legal for someone to cash a check from an individual's account after they have passed. Assets have restrictions, particularly those not titled in a trust must go through probate regardless of whether a will/testament exists. Just a thought if you're not wanting to burden others with expenses. Again, peace to you .....

I wrote the check out for Nov 1st

 

[Meant2Die]

Regarding the check, I agree with @TrailerTrash. I don't know anything about it but once the bank is notified you have passed I would imagine they would stop all activity on it. I would imagine it would work only if she cashed it immediately, like immediately after finding it (and you) and I doubt she will be in a state of mind to do that, even if you specifically wrote it out in a note for her to go to the bank. Gosh it's so hard to know. I also know when it comes to cashing or withdrawing large amounts, (in my US bank it's around $2,500) anything above that you have to notify them ahead of time for them to get the money ready. So it's not that it can't be done, it just may take a few days for them to get the money ready (at least that was my banks rules). And if that's the case they might get wind of your passing and freeze the account by then. Just like the other person said, I don't want to irritate or complicate things, just trying to share some knowledge but I would say try to withdraw cash if you can. That's what I did.

I even called the bank to try to see if I can add a family member as like a dual account user, and asked what would happen if the main person passed. It sounded so shady even though I was trying to keep it normal. the guy finally caught on and was like is your grandparent dying? I bet he thought I was a young, inexperienced person (my voice sounds young). I was like oh yeah sure, that's it. He said when a person passes they have to go through the proper lawful ways before hand and write a will/trust (?) with a lawyer, blah blah, and say who gets what, esp. money wise. It's so complicated.

 

[metalchic_74]

Regarding the check, I agree with @TrailerTrash. I don't know anything about it but once the bank is notified you have passed I would imagine they would stop all activity on it. I would imagine it would work only if she cashed it immediately, like immediately after finding it (and you) and I doubt she will be in a state of mind to do that, even if you specifically wrote it out in a note for her to go to the bank. Gosh it's so hard to know. I also know when it comes to cashing or withdrawing large amounts, (in my US bank it's around $2,500) anything above that you have to notify them ahead of time for them to get the money ready. So it's not that it can't be done, it just may take a few days for them to get the money ready (at least that was my banks rules). And if that's the case they might get wind of your passing and freeze the account by then. Just like the person said, I don't want to irritate or complicate things, just trying to share some knowledge but I would say try to withdraw cash if you can. That's what I did.

She'll cash it immediately I made specific instructions in my note

 

[lostangel]

I woke up this morning feeling very anxious. I'm not scared to ctb I'm more scared something will go wrong. I do not want to survive this attempt. I have to be successful because I absolutely do not want to be locked up in some psych hospital or have my parents kick me out. I would be homeless.
So here is my plan for tomorrow...
I will fast for 8 hours starting early in the afternoon. This is gonna be tricky. I know my parents will ask me why I'm not eating dinner. I thought I would just pretend to act sick so they won't be suspicious.
I will take 300 mg of Quetiapine and a handful of Ativan around 10 pm
800 mg of Tagamet at 10:30
30g SN in 100 ml of water at 11 pm
My parents bedroom is upstairs, they usually go to bed between 9-10 pm. They use a fan so I doubt they will hear anything.
I'm gonna lock my door. I usually sleep in till 9-10 am so they won't even know I'm dead in my room. My mom has painting class Monday mornings so she'll be gone until around 1pm. My dad usually goes hunting but he never checks up on me. So I'm guessing I prob won't be found till late morning early afternoon.
I only wrote 1 note and it's for my sister. I have detailed instructions and my final wishes. I wrote her a check to clear out my bank account so she has the funds for my funeral. I would rather put her in charge of my final affairs. I don't want that stress on my 70 year old dad.
I'm at peace with leaving this shithole
I have comfort knowing I have a wonderful support network here. I will keep every one updated as the day progresses tomorrow. I just thank god I found this site. The love and compassion here is nothing I've ever experienced. I know ya'll will be with me during my final minutes
Thank you!!!!

I love your profile picture and I hope everything goes okay :)

 

[blivogade]

I hope everything is smooth sailing for you.
Sending my love

 

[TrailerTrash]

She'll cash it immediately I made specific instructions in my note