How do I forget painful events?

[NullSz00]

Title. Recently went through the worst that's ever happened to me and I'm really trying to not think about it but I just can't, so any help would be appreciated.


Thanks in advance.

 

[Life_and_Death]

sadly i find the best way to forget is to work through it

 

[Grumble]

sadly i find the best way to forget is to work through it

Yes... When you go through such a painful event, it's sort of like there becomes two versions of you. There is a "Before You" and there is an "After You", where the painful event is what separates the before-and-after.

When there is no turning back, you want to confront your reality and the bad feelings head-on. By working through it, you're not so much forgetting about it as you are learning to cope with it, adjust to it, and accept it. This can be an extremely painful, arduous process, but for the sake of your longer-term mental health, it is indeed the best way.

 

[LaughingGoat]

sadly i find the best way to forget is to work through it

Yes... When you go through such a painful event, it's sort of like there becomes two versions of you. There is a "Before You" and there is an "After You", where the painful event is what separates the before-and-after.

When there is no turning back, you want to confront your reality and the bad feelings head-on. By working through it, you're not so much forgetting about it as you are learning to cope with it, adjust to it, and accept it. This can be an extremely painful, arduous process, but for the sake of your longer-term mental health, it is indeed the best way.

I do agree with this advice as at some point, you will need to process the memory to move past it. That being said, it's ok to compartmentalize and not spend every waking moment doing so. So using distraction (whatever activities that will keep your mind busy) is a fine way to give yourself a break from thinking about what happened. I'm sorry to hear you went through something so difficult, happy to see you reaching out on this side of the site.

 

[LilysAngel]

From my personal experience:

Positive outlets: kink (this community changed my entire life). Poly community. I guess the overall theme is community. Find people you vibe with & surround yourself with love & acceptance.

Negative (but successful) outlets: drugs, sex, food
*literally pls never turn to drugs. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Recovery is HARD. They have also made me permanently forget about half of my life. So successful I guess? But not worth it.

 

[theboy]

remembering without pain
no joke

 

[fancifulfate]

Lots of weed and herbal/natural remedies like passionflower, lemon balm, chamomile, glycine, magnesium, melatonin. Sleep a lot. Dreams help me process my emotions sometimes, not to sound like Special Agent Dale Cooper over here lol.

Sit with them sometimes. Cry it out. But don't let it consume you too entirely. Don't become your misery. It will get easier as you naturally process the trauma. If you have ptsd that results in severe panic disorder like me you may need extra medication (I cannot sleep without constant night terrors that make me scream and thrash and injure myself in my sleep and wake up every 2 hours or so). I take clonazepam to help with the lasting effects of trauma I haven't been able to work through. Sometimes it's necessary unfortunately. I am physically dependent upon the drug as well as mentally.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Lots of weed

i dont understand why people suggest that "here add more problems and get an addiction" (personal opinion, anyone that says theyre not is probably lying to themselves. i cant help but notice they say they arent but they also still wont put it down lol)

 

[fancifulfate]

i dont understand why people suggest that "here add more problems and get an addiction" (personal opinion, anyone that says theyre not is probably lying to themselves. i cant help but notice they say they arent but they also still wont put it down lol)

Personally it helps me sit with my emotions without them being too overwhelming, it makes dreams less intense (I still have fairly intense dreams but mine are truly out of this world bad without weed+clonazepam) but most of all it relieves a lot of the chronic pain I deal with due to my disability. It's not for everyone - nothing is. I've found stopping weed cold turkey to be pretty fine. Clonazepam now, if I cold turkey stop that I'm probably gonna have a seizure and could die lol. Personally weighing the risks and benefits of any substance is always important.

 

[StalkedByDeath]

You're probably not going to like this answer, but you don't forget. As cliche as it sounds, the pain WILL lessen over time when the event is months, years, decades old. That's something you truly realize the older you get; it's weird. I won't even say the pain is going to go away, because some of my memories are still painful, but that pain is a fraction of what it used to be and fleeting.

Therapy can definitely help, but for extremely severe events, it's fine if you allow your brain to repress your feelings over time (though I doubt anyone in psychiatrics would agree, it is a means of survival. It's better to repress than end up dead). If you allow life to move on it will become less painful, but if the event has brought your life to a stand still, it may be wise to seek professional help.

 

[Lady Laudanum]

Idk what y'all do but I just drink, pop pills, smile, and forget. I'm usually sober but once in a blue moon I gotta go on a planned bender.

 

[Meteora]

Oh I guess that is the million dollar question.... if there really was a good strategy, psych wards could close and therapists would be unemployed. At least that is what I think. It certainly also depends on how you re brain is wired, some people can easily erase memory.

 

[Linda]

Title. Recently went through the worst that's ever happened to me and I'm really trying to not think about it but I just can't, so any help would be appreciated.


Thanks in advance.

You won't ever forget it, but it will bother you less as time passes. In the meantime, all you can do is get on with your life. Throwing yourseif into your work for a while would probably be a helpful distraction.