Grief and Loss Support Megathread

[Ephemeron]

I've destroyed a relationship and with it my whole life (lost friends, my drive for my career). Even worse, I realized my own illusionary life that has been a nightmare since I was 5. I was unable to live but was pretty good in keeping up a facade of hope to myself and my environment. Now, I have nothing. Not the love of my life, no friends, no apartment, no job, no hope.
It's just too late for me to start over.

Don't know if you're still posting here, but this sounds very similar to my own situation. I've had such a shit life, and even my only chance at happiness was completely destroyed (by me). Too late to start over. It's just too late. If you're still around and want to talk to someone, I'm available.

 

[ReadyOrNot?]

I wish I could see my cat again. She was the best thing that ever happened to me.
I love you honey.
I'm Sorry.

 

[Proteus]

I thought my experience may help someone.

I had a best friend time ago. I was in a bad point of my life and they were my only source of support. One day, they committed suicide and at first the pain was extremely intense. I had no one else to talk and the only reason I had to stay alive disappeared. At that time, it was one of the worst things I've felt.

Flash forward years later. I was a completely different person and was thinking on said person. Today we wouldn't be friends at all. I was too different back then, but they are the kind of person I can't stand being near them. I won't give details or ideological rants but I looked out messages and what kind of person they were, and my answer was: "how could I befriend someone like this?". There was no reason to feel I lost anything and given enough years, I wouldn't love them. We are to different. We have nothing in common. I simply grabbed whatever I had then.

And then I realized: We only miss them because we weren't over yet. If it happened before their death, our experiences would be very different. Think about this: most groups of friends lose contact over time, but when one of them dies while it lasts, the pain seems to be forever. This isn't correct since if they parted ways in life, they wouldn't miss them near as much if the relationship is over. You miss the time you spent with that person and if you naturally parted ways, you would overcome it. I've seen this happen to many people.
Maybe your relationship was truly special, there are always exceptions and some people truly seem made for each other. Some people may have lost their elders in childhood or an extremely vulnerable period. This may not be useful to everyone and to be fair, years made me super cold. I apologize if it sounds unemphatic, I tried to be as careful as I could and I didn't intend to say anything on the lines of "why to care if they are dead". It's an extremely painful experience and it's natural to feel like this, but it's also something you have to overcome eventually. I hope I could help someone with this.

 

[Life_and_Death]

may 13th is getting closer.... i miss her so much...

 

[Life_and_Death]

i light a candle for the members of the site. for those who are suffering and those that have passed.
i light a candle for those away from the site and for all the animals around our planet

may no one ever be forgotten

 

[Life_and_Death]

"happy" weekend to me....
i get to grieve not having a mom (parents in general), my emotional support cat passing away, and my first of my favorite flower is dying......

depression physically wears....i struggle to even walk...i dont want to move....i just want to cry......

 

[thefoodispoison]

"happy" weekend to me....
i get to grieve not having a mom (parents in general), my emotional support cat passing away, and my first of my favorite flower is dying......

depression physically wears....i struggle to even walk...i dont want to move....i just want to cry......

I'm so sorry this weekend was tough. I don't have a mom either and people really don't get it sometimes. And a beloved cat passing on top of that is just brutal. I hope you can find someone to hug you, even if right now it's just yourself.

 

[bearbrikk]

Less than a year ago I lost my friend due to anorexia. I still suffer from it so to know exactly how she felt and it is heartbreaking. Im mad a the doctors who only kept her alive to create a higher medical bill. I'm mad no one could help her. And I feel shame for being angry with her. The thought'' Just eat, I could do it so can you'' '' why did you give up'' still haunts me. I am ashamed when Those thoughts come up because I know how hard it is and it is NOT that simple. But I think these things out of loss,out of pain. I still refuse to let her go. I'm not gonna mourn. She is in my heart and that's it. She is still here. I was not there when she was suffering, when she needed someone. I was not there. If only I knew, I would have been there. I know how it feels, what it does to you. I could have helped her....maybe?

 

[Life_and_Death]

i light a candle for those that are suffering
i light a candle for those that have passed
may no one be forgotten

 

[Life_and_Death]

 

[JusMe]

i lost my mom to cancer as a teenager and it's been so rough hitting so many milestones without her here to celebrate them with. it's so bad, especially going through high school graduation and then moving to university without her. and the worst part is that no one has been able to fill the hole she left in my life, not my dad, other relatives or close friends, and i'm scared that i'm gonna continue living life with this huge gaping pain in my heart. i miss her so much and everything i've tried to do hasn't helped :( i just wish she was still here because she always knew what to say to make me feel better

 

[feelinggloomy]

My 22 year old son and my reason for living CTB in 2022. I am beyond devastated and feel dead inside unable to connect to anyone or anything. I want to die and I plan to do just that when my pups are gone. I can't live in this constant state of overwhelming grief forever and I don't intend to. I'm so happy I found this thread and I feel for all of you. I really do.

Sorry for your loss. But I know how you feel. I found my partner dead from a bullet to his head. He suffered from depression as do I. No one should have to see what I saw. He was and still is my entire world. People visited and called for a few weeks. Then their lives went back to normal. I feel abandoned. Every day is a struggle with what feels like total emptiness in my life. Other family members sought counseling to deal with their grief. I just can't bring myself to do that. I talk to him still and see him in my dreams. Hope to join him in the near future.

I'm late to this post but I lost my son the same way in 2022 and I can't take a breath