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MissAbyss

MissAbyss

"Yada, yada, yada..."
Jul 20, 2025
232
I'm already stuck in purgatory for months now since I decided that I wanted to get over with this sh!t, but SI is still holding me back.

This year I lived in extreme waves and windows which can change per day, sometimes within hours.
I wanted to be fully prepared and ready when that moment hits. So I already erased my social media accounts and cancelt all my subscriptions on streaming services etc., a couple of months ago.
I only share a Netflix account with someone and
SaSu is actually my only account left.

Things have been going a bit better the past two weeks, so I've become more active again, listening to music and watching videos etc., But those advertisements are driving me nuts. I know that reactivation of my subscriptions would solve this problem, but now I can't commit to anything anymore.

Is there anyone else who is dealing with this, and how do you deal with it?
 
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Reactions: soulie, rozeske, Andarna and 5 others
P

peewee

Member
Oct 16, 2025
20
in the same boat...got severely betrayed by someone i trusted and they ruined my life and isolated me from my friends and community...i still love them and want to ctb for over 3 months...just living day to day. i dont know how to deal either i havent cancelled anything...why not just get the netflix for now xx
 
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Reactions: MissAbyss
Greyhawk

Greyhawk

Member
Jan 3, 2025
77
I can definitely relate to this. I've started writing my suicide note a few times and then deleted it. I've also canceled my subscriptions, deleted my search history, most emails, etc. But I have never ended up doing it due to SI or fearing the pain that it would cause my family. But I don't really have any good ideas on how to deal with it. I sometimes romanticize this idea of succeeding in life, finding love so that's mostly what keeps me going. I have also started reading some books lately and they have brought me a sense of meaning and joy that I haven't felt for a long time.
 
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Reactions: MissAbyss
MissAbyss

MissAbyss

"Yada, yada, yada..."
Jul 20, 2025
232
in the same boat...got severely betrayed by someone i trusted and they ruined my life and isolated me from my friends and community...i still love them and want to ctb for over 3 months...just living day to day. i dont know how to deal either i havent cancelled anything...why not just get the netflix for now xx
I'm sorry to hear that. 🤗

Well, if that moment hits then I don't have time nor do I want to deal with canceling all sorts of accounts and subscriptions first. I'll probably be in a completely different mindset also, so I don't know if I'll get it done. It's the fear of leaving unfinished things behind. I need to find a way to get over it.
 
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Reactions: Kitsune_BCN

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