Discussion Your thoughts on medication.

[Forever Sleep]

For those who decided not to try medication, what were your reasons?

I went through a particularly rough period in my late twenties. I used to self medicate St. John's Wort plus 5HTP prior to that but, I ended up seeing a therapist who suggested a course of antidepressants. My GP prescribed Fluoexetine (Prozac.) I only took the one course but, they didn't feel like they did anything.

I think at the time, I was willing to try anything that might help. I suppose I believed I could be helped. I think I just wanted something to get me through too. I was working part time and studying for my second BA.

I feel like I'm different now though. I don't think I'd be willing to try out medication now. I've built up a distrust that doctors even understand what these drugs do. Maybe I feel less desperate to risk being exposed to what I see as a risk of making things worse. Maybe because things actually felt worse back then- so I was more willing to try.

The most depressing thing I find is- I think people almost feel forced to take medication to be able to function in this world. In my friend's workplace, 1 in 3 were on antidepressants! I'm sure I'd feel the need for them too- if I were back in retail.

Perhaps they're all different but I get the impression that some flatten out our emotions. It can feel beneficial to be more like a robot doing a job you hate. Instead of all that intense hatred and frustration, maybe there's less resistance. I just find that so depressing. That we're all being muted down to drone level.

Does anyone avoid meds because they want to feel their authentic self? Even if it's really bad? Does anyone avoid them also because, they don't want to maybe get rid of their ideation? I guess maybe it depends on just how bad our mental pain is. I think I would be willing to try them again if my mental pain was worse.

It's maybe a balance of wanting to be able to get through life better but also, not wanting to lose the impetus to kill myself! I guess that's another question. Do people take them because they hope to get rid of their ideation? I suppose I did at one point because I believed I could still make a go of life. I don't think I can or even want to now though so, I feel like I wouldn't want to be without my ideation now. What are your thoughts/ experiences?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

My MH issues are result of external (and often uncontrollable) circumstances. That can't be medicated.

I don't need prescribed medication to become numb this won't solve the problem that's causing me MH issues.

 

[LapseInTime]

None fully "worked" for me and I've tried every single medication suggested to me. Do keep in mind that no magic pill exists. Some may be able to offer some relief but it's always a trial-and-error and effects-vs-side effects situation. No matter how certain your doctor appears, they're not prescribing something like an antibiotic. What "should work" on paper may not help at all or make things worse. Keep in mind that, while a drug may be indicated for your condition, it doesn't mean it's the right one; some antidepressants can make you feel sluggish and others can give you a boost. I do feel that SSRIS (like prozac) tend to make you feel like a zombie, it's fairly common for people to feel like they're "flat" or unaffected. It can help if you get anxious and depressed over the slightest thing, though these drugs are in your system all the time.

Whatever you do, my advice is to not get into this cycle of trying one drug, experiencing side effects, adding a second drug with side effects of its own, adding third drug to fix them, a fourth one, etc.

 

[SVEN]

Neither Fluoxetine nor Citalopram assisted me, over a period of years. (The Citalopram evoked vivid, though not unpleasant dreams, verging on visions, and exaggerated colours and music to the point where I sometimes almost felt I would "hear colours").
I have known Bipolar sufferers who preferred to remain unmedicated because their hyper phases were so actively productive and frequently joyful that they were willing to endure the downphase.

 

[swankysoup]

My MH issues are result of external (and often uncontrollable) circumstances. That can't be medicated.

This, it's always this. At least most of the time imo.

 

[areyousafe??]

Medication (specifically antidepressants) improved my mood and made me feel "happy" again. I've recently stopped taking them, and have fell right back into a depressive state. No desire to feel happy again or motivation to "get better".

 

[ijustwishtodie]

My issues are with life itself and how life is fundamentally operated. No amount of medication can change what reality really is

 

[avalokitesvara]

I was on sertraline (zoloft) for about 2 years after a big crisis at the age of 25ish, over ten years since I started experiencing "depression and suicidality" which is really conflict between True (empty) Self and false imposed social/economic "self" as a "real person" in the "world" (if it ever had a beginning and wasn't always there, in a child's form, before puberty brought it out..)

For me it was definitely a tool to be socially functional. I believed in my social role as a student and a worker and a family member, which roles are against my True Self, which isn't any of those things. My true self is empty, so my true identity is a monk or dead. I didn't know that at the time, I was still trying desperately hard to be a person because I thought I had to. So the drug quietened my awareness of emptiness, took away my suicidality, took away my true self, and indeed gave me the capacity to mimic a "real person", that is perform social/interpersonal/ecomomic roles. At the time I felt this to be "being better". Once I "was better" I stoped taking them and believed that was that. Thankfully I didn't completely destroy my sense of my true self, that is to say my empty self, and so that kept (thankfully!) undermining my attempts at "being a person" until I ran out of options and came to uncover/rediscover/enter my True Self and find my path to monkhood (or death if this path turns out to not be granted me).

Now that I am living without conflict with my True Self, which possibly looks like mental illness to some people, I have absolutely no desire to medicate myself into a place where I could successfully deny it again and again take on the task of "being a person" in the world. Yeah it's extremely painful and feels like "depression" to exist as my True Self in the normal social/economic world where I'm expected to be a "real person" and not supposed to be my true self, but that "depression" completely goes away when I am in the place where I can fully live as my True (empty) Self, the monastery. So to me it is a spiritual condition, and a blessing as much as it hurts. My suicide will come about if I am forced to have to stay in the "normal world" as a "person". I'm not capitulating.

Hope this made a tiny bit of sense

But yeah as a more general answer, I think psychiatric drugs are used to make people successfully fulfil their roles by smoothing over the anguish that they feel from living in an exploitative and spiritually crushing world. For some people they really want that, they really want to just feel better and get on with life as they understand it. I don't blame them for that as well. We all just want to not suffer. For people who are less invested in the accepted story, who see the cracks, who in other times might have been revolutionaries, seers, dissidents, mystics, monks… Medication is just going to tamp down your ability to see and react to true reality. Maybe you want that, that's fine too. It is really Madness to be aware of this world unfiltered and without a sense of your True Self, a sense that that True Self even exists or if does that you can live as it without being instantly crushed back into line, or eliminated. It's extremely frightening and painful. If medication stops you hurting, it is good. But you have to be aware what's going on and accept what you're doing to yourself.

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

The way I view it, the society should have a different layman term for when you're depressed not because of the chemicals in your brain chemicalling wrong but because you've been through so much shit you can't handle it anymore. In psychology, if I remember correctly, that is called an "adjustment disorder".

So when your dog dies, you get really sad for a while. That's an adjustment disorder. Except that everyone calls it depression.

The thing is, there is nothing that drugs can do for when you're just struggling with life shit and it's weighing you down. A pill will not give you your health back and will not find you a job. Neither will it give meaning to your life. It's just a temporary "bandaids" kind of fix to a serious problem. Religion or therapy can make you have a different perspective on your problems, but in my opinion that's another bandaid, you are just deluding yourself. But hey, I am a nihilist so take that with a grain of salt XD.

And not to mention the side effects. Right now there is some good research coming out on mushrooms. I think if you do wanna medicate, it is best to at least do it with something natural like mushrooms, that won't make your eyes pop out or make you grow a third leg lol.

 

[maniac116]

I think that if your prescriber is a good listener & has good experience in prescribing meds, then you have a decent chance of feeling better.
The key is getting the right meds for YOU. In paych, sometimes meds need to be a bit of mix n match to find the correct med or combo of meds to be effective

 

[TheHolySword]

Medication has never helped me unfortunately. I've tried many different kinds, doses, mixes and nothing ever did a thing for me. If anything they usually made things worse in one way or another. Haven't taken anything in years though so it's hard to say that it never could. But I don't want to try anymore.

 

[attheend13]

For those who decided not to try medication, what were your reasons?

I went through a particularly rough period in my late twenties. I used to self medicate St. John's Wort plus 5HTP prior to that but, I ended up seeing a therapist who suggested a course of antidepressants. My GP prescribed Fluoexetine (Prozac.) I only took the one course but, they didn't feel like they did anything.

I think at the time, I was willing to try anything that might help. I suppose I believed I could be helped. I think I just wanted something to get me through too. I was working part time and studying for my second BA.

I feel like I'm different now though. I don't think I'd be willing to try out medication now. I've built up a distrust that doctors even understand what these drugs do. Maybe I feel less desperate to risk being exposed to what I see as a risk of making things worse. Maybe because things actually felt worse back then- so I was more willing to try.

The most depressing thing I find is- I think people almost feel forced to take medication to be able to function in this world. In my friend's workplace, 1 in 3 were on antidepressants! I'm sure I'd feel the need for them too- if I were back in retail.

Perhaps they're all different but I get the impression that some flatten out our emotions. It can feel beneficial to be more like a robot doing a job you hate. Instead of all that intense hatred and frustration, maybe there's less resistance. I just find that so depressing. That we're all being muted down to drone level.

Does anyone avoid meds because they want to feel their authentic self? Even if it's really bad? Does anyone avoid them also because, they don't want to maybe get rid of their ideation? I guess maybe it depends on just how bad our mental pain is. I think I would be willing to try them again if my mental pain was worse.

It's maybe a balance of wanting to be able to get through life better but also, not wanting to lose the impetus to kill myself! I guess that's another question. Do people take them because they hope to get rid of their ideation? I suppose I did at one point because I believed I could still make a go of life. I don't think I can or even want to now though so, I feel like I wouldn't want to be without my ideation now. What are your thoughts/ experiences?

I have been on meds most of my life antidepressants mostly with anti anxiety stuff like Ativan. On them I feel a but detached off them I'm a raging maniac. I am taking them again for everyone else but for me comfortably numb isn't comfortable at all. I don't feel better but I'm less likely to cry all day because I feel the sorrow but I can't let it out. Meds helped the people around me tolerate me.

 

[nogods4me]

Usually people are miserable to the point of becoming disfunctional and/or suicidal because of outside factors but the mind is sufficiently malleable that even in bad situations it is possible that someone might react differently and have a good life. The problem - and it is a fatal one in all senses of the word - is that apparently no one can make human minds radically different from what their genes and environment have already shaped. All the scholars, clinicians and researchers remain totally useless 99+% of the time even though it is possible. I went into a "fugue state" once, long ago, that convinced me of that. Too bad it was never ever reproduced and even hypnotists are unable to succeed in reshaping an already badly formed mind. What could work? Extreme combos of drugs and shock therapies? It seems like it will forever elude us.

 

[VaporSelf]

I enjoyed the numbness for a while

 

[kitkat9234]

I'm on so much medication it's unreal. Still have obsessive thoughts of CTB. I'm just an emotionless numb empty shell of a person that still wants to die everyday.