Discussion Your Opinion: "it takes nothing to be kind"

[Life_and_Death]

my personal opinion, and maybe its just my bpd making it more difficult, but personally, im not sure people that say that have ever been angry or are ignoring the fact that it takes a lot of work/practice to be self-conscious and change your thoughts.
it actually can take a person A LOT of mental exhaustion to be nice. thats not nothing and completely dismissing of the human brain/heart.

personally...its just a subtle way to be mean and not any better than the person youre trying to call out, or else you would be nice and maybe understand this isnt the moment for them.
same for that stupid "hope you have the day you deserve", dude...your tone....is so f'en smug yet youre trying to act better than me.

what is it with people these days slandering everything including being nice itself!

 

[HappiestAngel]

I think being truly kind is actually quite hard. It's why I admire kind people. There are some people who can make you feel better just by talking or being around them. I hope I could maybe be like that someday. It seems almost impossible but radiating positive energy instead of negative would be nice.

 

[Namelesa]

Personally a more accurate phrase would be "it takes nothing to not be mean" but in some cases that can still be hard to do, especially if you are in a lot of pain and think that being angry or mean to someone will decrease that pain. Being kind does take effort and time and sometimes resources so it shouldn't be seen as something that doesn't have much value to it.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I think being truly kind is actually quite hard. It's why I admire kind people. There are some people who can make you feel better just by talking or being around them. I hope I could maybe be like that someday. It seems almost impossible but radiating positive energy instead of negative would be nice

while i agree with you and honestly feel the same way.
i personally question looking up to 'nice people', but thats only because of a personal encounter where said "nice person" that everyone adored try to tell me i was lying simply because i skipped over the energy it would take to type out a part. so i take more to avoiding people especially "followings"..

 

[yxmux]

It's one of those shitty proverbs that prioritizes assigning a pointless moral evaluation over understanding why someone may act the way they do.

 

[alltoomuch2]

I think being truly kind is actually quite hard. It's why I admire kind people. There are some people who can make you feel better just by talking or being around them. I hope I could maybe be like that someday. It seems almost impossible but radiating positive energy instead of negative would be nice.

I'd like to be like those people too

 

[EternalShore]

I've never heard of this phrase before~ Regardless, it's wrong because being a genuinely kind person requires caring for others, something which hardly anyone actually does. Yeah, people say that they do, but as I'm sure we all know by now, they never actually mean anything they say. :/

There are some people who can make you feel better just by talking or being around them. I hope I could maybe be like that someday. It seems almost impossible but radiating positive energy instead of negative would be nice.

You have a kyute pfp btw~ :) Anyways, same~ :( From what I get from others irl, talking to me is incredibly boring, and I hate that~ :( I'm out here pretending to be something I'm not in order to please them and such and keeping the entire conversation all about them, and they still leave! :/ It'd be nice to know which questions not to ask too tbh~

 

[InversedShadow]

While it does take a lot, I think it is a good thing to strive to be the best version of ourselves, that's what I believe, although, some people don't deserve such kindness, and if anyone prides themselves and says they are kind, then a huge doubt arises since usually the real one will be more modest about it.

 

[derpyderpins]

"It's so easy to laugh, so easy to hate. . . it takes strength to be gentle and kind."

I'm much more proud of the times I've been patient than when I've been mean, even if in doing so I asserted myself. Dismissing people, being misanthropic, looking down on the world . . . these are signs of weakness. Not to say there's something inherently wrong with the person. I think it's like when you're running (not that I've done so in a while!) like on a track, and you start with good form, but then you get tired and even though it's bad you hunch over because you've gotten worn down. Being cruel is being weak in that sense, letting your "form" as a person be weak and lazy because you're in pain.

 

[Life_and_Death]

being misanthropic, looking down on the world . . . these are signs of weakness. Not to say there's something inherently wrong with the person.

i was gonna say, wait a min lol. im not the biggest fan of humans as a whole and consider myself misanthropic, but ill be nice and at least try to consider each interaction as an individual (but its really hard sometimes when youre beat down. i still have a trigger in me to hold the door though lol)

 

[ms_beaverhousen]

because i skipped over the energy it would take to type out a part.

People who take their energy for granted can afford to say things like "skipped over the energy [it would take]" because they believe you choose (will yourself) to have the energy to do something; and if you don't, you simply must not care enough... As if you don't actively choose to, you must then be passively choosing not to...? Maybe in theory...
Sad that some concepts seem to only be understood if they are experienced firsthand.

 

[Life_and_Death]

you simply must not care enough... As if you don't actively choose to, you must then be passively choosing not to...? Maybe in theory...

for more context; after they "called me out" i tried to 'correct it' and explain it to them, and they still "youre lying youre lying youre lying"

this person was just straight up an issue, and i swear people worshipped them the way they would go on.

 

[Cavalcade]

Yeah, that statement pisses me off. It takes an immense effort and domineering will to choose to be kind, to choose to be better than the people who have hurt me- to have the self control to reign in the reflexive rage and impulsivity that was modelled terribly in my formative years. When your coping mechanisms are incredibly maladaptive, you're not working with the same toolbox as other people- and skills can be learned, taught painstakingly, practiced until rote- but all of that is work, and effort, and takes commitment to correct. It's even more taxing if you suffer from debilitating health issues- chronically ill people, for example, have to expend what limited energy and resources they have- even if the expenditure is minute to a healthy, well adjusted person, comparatively, it can enact such a huge toll on someone working with and from less means. It's so easy to be kind if life has been kind to you- that takes no measure of the strength you must have to be put through hell and back, and to still decide to rise to the challenge.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I think that, a lot of people when they say that, they don't mean "kind", they mean "polite". They also assume other people have the energy to be polite and the life circumstances to be emotionally levelled.
Some people also have an easier time being polite, either because they're naturally inclined towards that, or because life isn't crushing their soul to the point that being polite becomes a chore.

As for being kind, I think the majority of people are not kind. Kindness has a component of selflessness, which, in my opinion, is sorely lacking in society. I think being kind involves some emotional work on the person who is attempting to be kind. Put themselves on the other person's shoes, responding with empathy, that's what being kind means, to me at least. It involves forgetting yourself for a moment and thinking about the other person. I don't see that almost at all. I see a lot of politeness, pretending to be oh so nice, whilst in reality that is all a façade.

Also, @Life_and_Death , if you have BPD, you're playing this game in hard mode, that's an emotional handicap. Of course you're still responsible for your actions and people have limits to how much they can withstand, but if the other person knows of your condition, they should be the ones leading in kindness and adapt themselves a bit when they're with you. There is a balance of boundaries and understanding that the other person needs to have.
Sadly, a lot of people just prefer to blame the other person instead of doing the emotional work of being truly kind.

 

[Vacuous]

For many people--perhaps most--it takes everything, in my opinion.

 

[overcastdays]

Yeah, the statement is not true at all. The cost of being kind varies, and it can take a lot of energy, but it absolutely does not cost nothing, bar I suppose the most basic of courtesies, but I'm not sure if that even counts a genuine kindness. Even so, I believe that, if you are capable of doing so, it should be something you should strive for, to the best of your abilities.