Your biggest regret in life?

[always_sad]

My biggest regret is that I did not leave my batshit insane "mother" after I turned 18. I will kill myself because the damage is too great and can never be undone. I have no idea how I survived my childhood and teen years. The most unberable part is that she's literally not capable of basic human connection and she does not feel bad for abusing me, she's never sorry for what she's done, she only cares about herself. She expects me to serve her 24/7 as if it's the only reason I exist. Vile fucking excuse of a person, the only reason she had me is (quote) "I just wanted someone to love me and take care of me". Yet when I was a child/teen I was treated like a burden and me merely expressing basic human needs would send her into fits of hysterical rage, she would scream at me for hours about how selfish and ungrateful I am and she's literally the most mistreated person on the planet. She's the reason I became suicidal at 12 she blamed almost all of her adult problems on me and expected me to clean up her mess
I believe my brain is beyond repair, I feel nothing, I want nothing, I look forward to nothing. Nothing is left of me.

 

[longtheriverrun]

Getting caught up in wanting to be loved and have someone I can be with romantically is the worst thing I let happen to myself

 

[Permanoir]

My biggest regret is not confiding in a trusted adult when I found out I was intersex at 14. I made impulsive decisions that led to major problems because I didn't know how to handle my emotions or the life-changing discovery.

 

[areyousafe??]

My biggest regret is not moving out until I was in my 30s, and spending the majority of my life feeling sad.

 

[CravingPeace]

My biggest regret is moving back home for my graduate school program in order to save money. My family completely broke me.

 

[Darkover]

my biggest regret is ever having to be born into this shithole species humanity on this shithole and hellhole earth

 

[lawlietsph]

my biggest regret is that I didn't gave my mother some kind of telepathic message in the womb that she should abort me asap

 

[Pluto]

 

[Tombs_in_your_eyes]

Genuinely split between:

1) Not advocating hard enough for my mom to ensure she received better healthcare. (Her treatable condition became terminal as a consequence of inadequate healthcare.)

2) Not ordering N when it was available!

 

[happier than ever]

not becoming the version of myself that the child version so desperately wanted. all i wanted was to be loved and someone that i could be proud of. however, i robbed myself of the oppourtunity of becoming what i could become. i cannot be mediocre. it doesnt feel like a life worth living to me.

 

[2minutes2ctb]

Sabotaging the best loving relationship I ever had. I just can't get over it, and this is when everything started to fall apart.

 

[Roadrunner]

I have so many, I'd have troubles deciding which one is the biggest. If I don't get the courage to CTB soon, I'm afraid my biggest may soon end up being that I didn't.

 

[sadalways]

Many things, some things i don't even want to remember because they genuinely hurt. I do regret losing a person i loved due to me being dumb and too depressed. Was probably my one and only chance in life.

 

[toomanymistakes]

Not understanding my own patterns of behaviour and their consequences until I got into debt. Highly likely to lose my job and home. I've hurt people by getting believing my own delusions instead of addressing my own trauma. It's too late now. It sickens me to my stomach that even a year ago I could have prevented all of it. And even though I have good people around me who deeply care and have been trying to help, I can't bear the thought of them knowing how badly I've messed up. I'm not fucking strong enough to fix this and it's my own fault.

 

[roommate]

Doing drugs, I wasn't even an addict, but it screwed me up hard :/

 

[UglyLife82]

Not going to college…not trying to make something out of myself after high school. Just letting myself settle into NEETdom

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing in the first place, I regret suffering in this futile, torturous existence and more than anything I wish I never suffered at all, never existing would had saved me from so much unnecessary suffering, I'd always prefer to not exist but only never suffering at all is true perfection for me. I just see it as so dreadful to be forced into this existence that just causes suffering all for the sake of it and problems there were never a need for with no limit as to how much agony one can feel just to decay and die anyway. To me existence just feels like a mistake and I was never meant for any of this, I'll always see it as so deeply undesirable to exist, for me existence itself is the true problem, I'd just never wish for the burden of existence. I always suffer so much being enslaved in this horrific reality where the option for me to just simply cease existing in peace is denied with suffering seen as to force and prolong no matter what even know this existence was so harmfully imposed.

 

[Namelesa]

Getting into my first relationships as thats made me desire human connection and made life feel more empty and lonely without a friend or partner. Also in second relationship not being good enough as I shouldn't have expressed unwanted emotions and interests and should kept my mental pain to myself so I didn't do actions that would hurt them more and caused the end to the relationship.

 

[vercabow]

being the fastest sperm cell

 

[NoHalfMeasures]

My regret is not knowing I might be autistic sooner. It would've helped so many things in my childhood had I had a good support network.
I'm constantly filled with social anxiety and I know that is a lack of being able to socialize.
Another regret is moving away from family sooner.
I'm sure I could add more to the list.

 

[Reflection]

Not being able to have a life with my ex

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

I regret not planning a permanent escape from my family at 18. Treating school as another oppressive institution to rebel against when in reality it was my ticket out. I also regret pre-emptively forgiving others that ac the capacity to feel empathy or remorse. Generally allowing myself to settle for less in life. I also regret all forms of talk therapy and psych med use.

 

[WeDontKnowTheFuture]

I don't have any i did my best, what happened to me is independant of my will.

 

[Rational man]

My biggest regret is that I did not leave my batshit insane "mother" after I turned 18. I will kill myself because the damage is too great and can never be undone. I have no idea how I survived my childhood and teen years. The most unberable part is that she's literally not capable of basic human connection and she does not feel bad for abusing me, she's never sorry for what she's done, she only cares about herself. She expects me to serve her 24/7 as if it's the only reason I exist. Vile fucking excuse of a person, the only reason she had me is (quote) "I just wanted someone to love me and take care of me". Yet when I was a child/teen I was treated like a burden and me merely expressing basic human needs would send her into fits of hysterical rage, she would scream at me for hours about how selfish and ungrateful I am and she's literally the most mistreated person on the planet. She's the reason I became suicidal at 12 she blamed almost all of her adult problems on me and expected me to clean up her mess
I believe my brain is beyond repair, I feel nothing, I want nothing, I look forward to nothing. Nothing is left of me.

My biggest regret is not realising that there is nothing I could have done that would have changed the direction of travel in my life. From family who i did not choose to the choices I made in medical and life events, I made those choices in the moment. Ive wasted so much time regretting, when In reality, I should have just accepted the ' cards ' that were dealt to me. Incidentally, I could have written parts of your story, and only now do I realise that I was abused at many levels by my parents in the same way that they were abused by their parents. Im really sorry to read your story as it brings back painful personal memories.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

Being around people and having believed I should have come here that my host is mostly traumatized from being a people pleaser and being fat because of trauma…

 

[Peaceful Departure]

My biggest regret is putting my life on hold to help someone in need in spite knowing she was trouble. I couldn't bring myself to walk away from someone who seemed so incapable of navigating life on her own.

 

[Valhala]

The fact that I broke up with the only woman I really loved in my life. The worst thing is that I feel that there are still feelings between us but she is hurt and disappointed. More than a year has passed since then and time has not softened anything, I love her and want more and more and my life without her has completely lost its meaning.

 

[GlassMoon]

My biggest regret is that I did not take care of me and my body earlier, would be much better off today if I had

 

[MyRightMyWay]

That I didn't put my rapist brother in prison

 

[Richard Langford]

Not looking after my mum better.