Venting Your 2nd death anniversary.

[snail_in_a_garden]

October 19th 2020 my dear friend ended her life by using a method through this site. I've got no one to vent to so here's my letter

Yesterday marked two years of your absence. I miss you. I fucking miss you and I wish I could have said goodbye. I know you have wanted this since you were so little I know you had this planned months in advance and that no one would have been able to talk you out of it. I wish I could have given you one last hug, heard you laugh one last fucking time i'm so angry that you left with no notice although I get it. I do. Your last words we're on this site and I come back each time I need to "hear" you. I'd do anything to hear you laugh again. I'd do anything to talk to you again. I have so much to tell you. I'll be 25 next month and you'll still be 22. I'm angry for you, angry at your family, the people who hurt you, the world that made you hate yourself. God I miss you. I look for you everywhere, I think about you always. This grief weighs so heavy on all of us who lost you. It feels like you're slipping away. It feels like you're memory is fading far too fast im not ready for that yet. I just want to be near you again. I wish you knew how many lives were permanently altered the second we discovered you were gone. I miss you and I love you so much it aches to breathe: Your birthday is in 10 days, I'll make you a cake as I will continue to do each year. Please tell me what cake you want please send me some sort of sign that you're still here. I've cried so hard for you. and I'm afraid it won't stop. I'm afraid I'll never stop crying for you. about you. because of you. please stop by somehow soon. I need you here.

 

[GasMonkey]

What method did he use?

 

[hunterfla]

October 19th 2020 my dear friend ended her life by using a method through this site. I've got no one to vent to so here's my letter

Yesterday marked two years of your absence. I miss you. I fucking miss you and I wish I could have said goodbye. I know you have wanted this since you were so little I know you had this planned months in advance and that no one would have been able to talk you out of it. I wish I could have given you one last hug, heard you laugh one last fucking time i'm so angry that you left with no notice although I get it. I do. Your last words we're on this site and I come back each time I need to "hear" you. I'd do anything to hear you laugh again. I'd do anything to talk to you again. I have so much to tell you. I'll be 25 next month and you'll still be 22. I'm angry for you, angry at your family, the people who hurt you, the world that made you hate yourself. God I miss you. I look for you everywhere, I think about you always. This grief weighs so heavy on all of us who lost you. It feels like you're slipping away. It feels like you're memory is fading far too fast im not ready for that yet. I just want to be near you again. I wish you knew how many lives were permanently altered the second we discovered you were gone. I miss you and I love you so much it aches to breathe: Your birthday is in 10 days, I'll make you a cake as I will continue to do each year. Please tell me what cake you want please send me some sort of sign that you're still here. I've cried so hard for you. and I'm afraid it won't stop. I'm afraid I'll never stop crying for you. about you. because of you. please stop by somehow soon. I need you here.

Sorry for your loss. I only hope that someone will feel this for me when I cross over - though I doubt it. May I suggest you make the cake that you like the most and tell her that you wanted to share it with her. Hugs xoxoxo

 

[Cryptonite]

I'm so sorry for your terrible loss. I feel with your pain. It reminds me how much everyone is going to be devastated after I leave the world myself, despite informing them many months ahead.

Remember, your friend deserved this peace. He used to suffer so much and now all his troubles are finally gone. I've never seen anyone kill themselves for mild to moderate and solvable problems. Basically everyone on this site, unfortunately, suffers from long-term, severe and unsolvable tragedies.

 

[outrider567]

October 19th 2020 my dear friend ended her life by using a method through this site. I've got no one to vent to so here's my letter

Yesterday marked two years of your absence. I miss you. I fucking miss you and I wish I could have said goodbye. I know you have wanted this since you were so little I know you had this planned months in advance and that no one would have been able to talk you out of it. I wish I could have given you one last hug, heard you laugh one last fucking time i'm so angry that you left with no notice although I get it. I do. Your last words we're on this site and I come back each time I need to "hear" you. I'd do anything to hear you laugh again. I'd do anything to talk to you again. I have so much to tell you. I'll be 25 next month and you'll still be 22. I'm angry for you, angry at your family, the people who hurt you, the world that made you hate yourself. God I miss you. I look for you everywhere, I think about you always. This grief weighs so heavy on all of us who lost you. It feels like you're slipping away. It feels like you're memory is fading far too fast im not ready for that yet. I just want to be near you again. I wish you knew how many lives were permanently altered the second we discovered you were gone. I miss you and I love you so much it aches to breathe: Your birthday is in 10 days, I'll make you a cake as I will continue to do each year. Please tell me what cake you want please send me some sort of sign that you're still here. I've cried so hard for you. and I'm afraid it won't stop. I'm afraid I'll never stop crying for you. about you. because of you. please stop by somehow soon. I need you here.

I can relate exactly to many of your sentences, in my case from 1/24/22 on

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be painful what you are going through but at least all those gone cannot suffer anymore, they got the peace that they wanted and are free from this nightmarish existence.
Rest in peace.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm so sorry for your loss. The pain of missing someone is terrible, I know. I lost many close family members in childhood and I still grieve for them.

I know it's hard and horrible to hear but my Dad often says that he knows that I miss them but that I wouldn't want them back in the state they were in. They were suffering and in pain. I appreciate that it's a different grief for me as theirs were natural deaths but I suppose the idea still stands. I do hope that your friend is at peace now. I'm so sorry that you are left with their loss.

 

[snail_in_a_garden]

Sorry for your loss. I only hope that someone will feel this for me when I cross over - though I doubt it. May I suggest you make the cake that you like the most and tell her that you wanted to share it with her. Hugs xoxoxo

I love this idea. Thank you

It must be painful what you are going through but at least all those gone cannot suffer anymore, they got the peace that they wanted and are free from this nightmarish existence.
Rest in peace.

I think that's the bittersweet part. She did everything she was supposed to and she was still in so much pain and it didn't help anything. I'm just glad she did it in a way that made it the least painful for her. It wasn't impulsive, it was thought out and methodically planned. Im so glad she doesn't have to hurt anymore here, it wasn't fair to her at all. Im going to try to talk to her on her birthday and let her know she will forever have a part of me.