Venting Younger me already suicidal

[Nymph]

When I was small (elementary school-middle school) i went to this school that had a park nearby and before the entrance there were yew trees. It weirded me out cause what kind of gardener plants yew trees near a place where kids play but..whatever. I was always really connected to it and wanted to eat it and would even pick the bush and put it in a bag to bring home. When I went to middle school I once ate some random berries from a bush near our apartment in hopes of getting poisoned.

 

[Life_and_Death]

theres a lot of nightshade growing around town. i always thought of going the more natural method but upon looking into it it seemed painful and extensive. i didnt look into every option of course, just the ones that grow near me.

 

[Zappfe lover]

When I was 8 year old, I went to the church (used to bee very religious), and asked God to take my soul.

Putting the thoughts into practice never ocurred to me until very recently, but the looming presence of death has always wandered through my mind.

 

[muffin222]

I've been passively suicidal since I was a child as well :( It's terrible that life can cause us such inner turmoil from such young ages

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I had suicidal thoughts from 14 but didn't start really focusing on doing it until 16. I had been struggling emotionally from a much younger age. It feels like I have just deal with problem after problem for my whole life so far.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I also recall having suicidal thoughts from a young age. I remember googling suicide methods and reading about the exit bag. Didn't have access to a lot of materials so tried with a black bin bag and didn't have anything that could knock me out. Obviously SI kicked in and it didn't work. My reasons for ctb back then were because I didn't want to go to school and deal with exams and school projects. Not too sure how it makes me feel knowing that I've had suicidal thoughts that come and go for a long time

 

[Ghastly]

When I was small (elementary school-middle school) i went to this school that had a park nearby and before the entrance there were yew trees. It weirded me out cause what kind of gardener plants yew trees near a place where kids play but..whatever. I was always really connected to it and wanted to eat it and would even pick the bush and put it in a bag to bring home. When I went to middle school I once ate some random berries from a bush near our apartment in hopes of getting poisoned.

Hi, where was this? I am looking for nightshade. Do you know where I can find it? Thanks

 

[Nymph]

Hi, where was this? I am looking for nightshade. Do you know where I can find it? Thanks

Sry I'm from Czech Republic sooo, but I'm sure I can buy it on the internet