Venting You know what's REALLY grinding my gears?

[LuzurPhagget]

Alright, so as a sort of last resort, I wanted to try "magic mushrooms." I gave $80 to a fellow coworker who said it wouldn't be hard to get them...and now it's been more than a month! Freaking brat. I'm sure if he knew I was actually using them to try to see if it could help my depression/anxiety, he would pick up the pace. But even moreso, if I were a GIRL who was wanting to "try it out," I'm sure he would have had used ALL his resources and will to have procured that shit that same night in the aim of having some freaky-deaky, mind-bending, reality-warping sex! Fucking kids. The world is truly their fucking oyster. Here I am, struggling just to get through the day dealing with what honest-to-god feels like some kind of fucking dementia, while these brats aren't satisfied with their "mundane, normal sex" and want to kick it up a notch. Goddammit.

Study finds mushrooms are the safest recreational drug

People taking mushrooms in 2016 needed medical treatment less than for MDMA, LSD and cocaine, while one of the riskiest drugs was synthetic cannabis

www.google.com

There is actual evidence showing legitimate therapeutic effects of psilocybin. People have been using these little guys for hundreds of years. We have a greater history with these mushrooms then we do with these fucking freakshow pills they've only recently concocted in some laboratory (tested on rats or whatever) within the last few decades and only slightly show more effective than placebos! And yet, the "experts" say we still don't know too much about magic mushrooms and would rather take chances with these foreign, potentially toxic meds! I'm sorry, don't get me wrong, I'm positive pharmaceuticals have actually helped, but it's just so frustrating that chemicals like psilocybin, which does have a lengthy history with us and something we SHOULD know about are only being looked at now.

Anyway, I actually think it's a fascinating time to be alive. Substances that were once illicit and thought to have no medical value are being looked at again and given another chance and are actually proven to have therapeutic effects (cannabis and CBD oils have truly benefited a lot of people). It truly feels like it's just a matter of time before magic mushrooms are legalized and accepted. The question is whether I'm one of THOSE PEOPLE who can actually benefit from this substance or it's just another fucking pipedream for a freakshow like me. Cannabis hasn't really done much for me. I think it just exacerbates my anxiety. It truly is stimulating and makes me "trip out," but it is ANYTHING but relaxing. It makes me appreciate being a depressed, anxious fuckwad rather than a drug-induced, panic-stricken depressed, anxious fuckwad! It makes me realize that things can ALWAYS be worse! Anyway, I would just like to know for sure if "magic mushrooms" could benefit me in anyway. Whether I can join and be part of the "normies" and rejoice in the therapeutic, beneficial effects of psilocybin...or it's just another pipedream and it would again just exacerbate shitty feelings in me and fully cement the idea that I truly have NO BUSINESS /reason being here and I'm just a fucking freakshow. I'd probably be one of the 0.2% that requires emergency medical treatment. In a way, it would be really stellar if magic mushrooms proved beneficial to me! I mean, one of the few things I enjoyed in life was foraging in the woods for plants/edibles and it would be SO AWESOME if something that could potentially be found via foraging in the woods could benefit me some way! In a way, I truly doubt psilocybin would suddenly "take away all my problems:" make me suddenly "fit in" with everybody; fix my autistic behaviour; fix my depression/anxiety. At the end of the day, it's just a chemical and my body would learn tolerance to it; this shitty state I'm in right now is my "normal" I've come to realize. But if it did prove beneficial to me, it could buy me more time and take me on an exciting new adventure; the legalization of psilocybin and its potential market.

I was planning on CTB this weekend, but I'm really wondering if I should stick around just long enough for this dipshit kid to finally deliver on the shrooms and I can definitively know for sure. Man, this kid is REALLY pissing me off. I don't wanna stick around any longer than I need to. I was planning on microdosing on shrooms first and if I even feel the slightest bit of anxiety/mind-fuckery, I plan on CTBing the oncoming weekend. Damn, it's so frustrating. It's like these motherfuckers want me to stick around as long as possible. My life isn't actually TOO bad, but I have been in an accident before and have had real close calls after and if I were to get into ANOTHER accident, I just couldn't live with myself. I just feel like a ticking time bomb. I just feel THAT accident-prone.

Anyway, I'm not sure if all this made sense, but thanks for hearing me through. I'm actually a little drunk right now and hope I haven't rambled/talked too incoherently too much.

 

[SinisterKid]

Shrooms are part of the reason I have 3 years of my life "missing". Along with a lot of other substances, they were a large part of my late youth. Cant say I remember having a bad time with them. I learnt not to mix them with too much booze, but had some great nights [must have been great because I have no recollection of them] with hot knives and shrooms and poppers.

I think they are something that everyone should try at least once in their lives. I would certainly never discourage anyone from trying them. George the moderator here knows a lot about them I think, might be worth asking him about his experiences.

 

[LuzurPhagget]

Aha, exactly. So it's just "another chemical" and I shouldn't really invest too much hope into it. And lol, "missing years." Doesn't sound too encouraging.

And I'll look into this George fella.

 

[CursedForDisaster]

Wait it out man, if you haven't tried them then you should, even if it doesn't help it's an experience to be had. Just do your research, make sure you're prepared for the trip (have food, beverages, activities, things that you enjoy passing the time with, especially music, read about the positive/negative symptoms, realize they aren't deadly, etc..) be in a content state of mind, in a comfortable place (at home or somewhere with a trip sitter) and let go... You can also try micro-dosing if the trip part isn't your thing :)

 

[LuzurPhagget]

Wait it out man, if you haven't tried them then you should, even if it doesn't help it's an experience to be had. Just do your research, make sure you're prepared for the trip (have food, beverages, activities, things that you enjoy passing the time with, especially music, read about the positive/negative symptoms, realize they aren't deadly, etc..) be in a content state of mind, in a comfortable place (at home or somewhere with a trip sitter) and let go... You can also try micro-dosing if the trip part isn't your thing :)

Yeah, definitely not into "macrodosing" right now. I honestly don't feel comfortable around ANYONE seeing me like that.

 

[CursedForDisaster]

Aha, exactly. So it's just "another chemical" and I shouldn't really invest too much hope into it. And lol, "missing years." Doesn't sound too encouraging.

And I'll look into this George fella.

Don't expect it to just cure your depression, psychedelics are a journey, it's hard to say how you react without trying them. You may meet god, you may feel like god, you may feel there is no god, you may feel like you understand things on a different level, you may feel like crap/anxious/noxious/like you're dying, like you're being reborn, you may feel an overwhelming sense of love and/or be thrown into hysterical laughter, you may feel all these things in the matter of hours, as if time stood still...it's a trip and almost everyone should experience it if it's and done responsibly

Yeah, definitely not into "macrodosing" right now. I honestly don't feel comfortable around ANYONE seeing me like that.

I definitely get what you're saying, I like it alone, or with a trustworthy, willing friend, which are unfortunately few and far between

 

[LuzurPhagget]

It's kind of unfortunate. A lot of sources are saying you HAVE TO take a large dose to sort of "knock" yourself out of a depression (ala "go big or go home") while others say doing such a thing is counter-intuitive and may just give you a bad trip. Argh! And even worse, some people have actually said that sometimes, you go on a trip and may never come back! (make a non-schizophrenic schizophrenic etc). Dafuq!?!

I'll just try microdosing and go from there. If it makes me feel like shit, that's a done-deal for me. Not gonna bother trying anything else after that.

 

[CursedForDisaster]

It's kind of unfortunate. A lot of sources are saying you HAVE TO take a large dose to sort of "knock" yourself out of a depression (ala "go big or go home") while others say doing such a thing is counter-intuitive and may just give you a bad trip. Argh! And even worse, some people have actually said that sometimes, you go on a trip and may never come back! (make a non-schizophrenic schizophrenic etc). Dafuq!?!

I'll just try microdosing and go from there. If it makes me feel like shit, that's a done-deal for me. Not gonna bother trying anything else after that.

I think it's good to try both, there's no simple answer/treatment to any of this but it's worth trying, both have worked for different people. Just make sure you just let go if you do a decent dose (ie: 3.5 grams+), it's good to be aware that they're physically safe and that the ride will end...and you should mainly worry about things like schizophrenia if you believe you have related underlying issues. I urge you to read up on the shrooms subreddit, there are plenty of people who have great times on shrooms despite their depression. All I can say is research and read up on some good/bad trip experiences/tips :)

 

[blackflag1]

I have had them grow in my chicken shit pile. I have a neighbor who likes to harvest them. Never tried them myself, but he has told me some good stories about his times under their influence.

 

[CursedForDisaster]

I think it's good to try both, there's no simple answer/treatment to any of this but it's worth trying, both have worked for different people. Just make sure you just let go if you do a decent dose (ie: 3.5 grams+), it's good to be aware that they're physically safe and that the ride will end...and you should mainly worry about things like schizophrenia if you believe you have related underlying issues. I urge you to read up on the shrooms subreddit, there are plenty of people who have great times on shrooms despite their depression. All I can say is research and read up on some good/bad trip experiences/tips :)

I had a bad trip turn around into something very enjoyable last night, it's just important not to worry..

 

[Avery Jordan]

I've done psychedelics, highly recommend them. Especially ketamine for depression. If you wanna buy them off the darkweb hit me up .

 

[dysphoria]

Alright, so as a sort of last resort, I wanted to try "magic mushrooms." I gave $80 to a fellow coworker who said it wouldn't be hard to get them...and now it's been more than a month! Freaking brat. I'm sure if he knew I was actually using them to try to see if it could help my depression/anxiety, he would pick up the pace. But even moreso, if I were a GIRL who was wanting to "try it out," I'm sure he would have had used ALL his resources and will to have procured that shit that same night in the aim of having some freaky-deaky, mind-bending, reality-warping sex! Fucking kids. The world is truly their fucking oyster. Here I am, struggling just to get through the day dealing with what honest-to-god feels like some kind of fucking dementia, while these brats aren't satisfied with their "mundane, normal sex" and want to kick it up a notch. Goddammit.

Study finds mushrooms are the safest recreational drug

People taking mushrooms in 2016 needed medical treatment less than for MDMA, LSD and cocaine, while one of the riskiest drugs was synthetic cannabis

www.google.com

There is actual evidence showing legitimate therapeutic effects of psilocybin. People have been using these little guys for hundreds of years. We have a greater history with these mushrooms then we do with these fucking freakshow pills they've only recently concocted in some laboratory (tested on rats or whatever) within the last few decades and only slightly show more effective than placebos! And yet, the "experts" say we still don't know too much about magic mushrooms and would rather take chances with these foreign, potentially toxic meds! I'm sorry, don't get me wrong, I'm positive pharmaceuticals have actually helped, but it's just so frustrating that chemicals like psilocybin, which does have a lengthy history with us and something we SHOULD know about are only being looked at now.

Anyway, I actually think it's a fascinating time to be alive. Substances that were once illicit and thought to have no medical value are being looked at again and given another chance and are actually proven to have therapeutic effects (cannabis and CBD oils have truly benefited a lot of people). It truly feels like it's just a matter of time before magic mushrooms are legalized and accepted. The question is whether I'm one of THOSE PEOPLE who can actually benefit from this substance or it's just another fucking pipedream for a freakshow like me. Cannabis hasn't really done much for me. I think it just exacerbates my anxiety. It truly is stimulating and makes me "trip out," but it is ANYTHING but relaxing. It makes me appreciate being a depressed, anxious fuckwad rather than a drug-induced, panic-stricken depressed, anxious fuckwad! It makes me realize that things can ALWAYS be worse! Anyway, I would just like to know for sure if "magic mushrooms" could benefit me in anyway. Whether I can join and be part of the "normies" and rejoice in the therapeutic, beneficial effects of psilocybin...or it's just another pipedream and it would again just exacerbate shitty feelings in me and fully cement the idea that I truly have NO BUSINESS /reason being here and I'm just a fucking freakshow. I'd probably be one of the 0.2% that requires emergency medical treatment. In a way, it would be really stellar if magic mushrooms proved beneficial to me! I mean, one of the few things I enjoyed in life was foraging in the woods for plants/edibles and it would be SO AWESOME if something that could potentially be found via foraging in the woods could benefit me some way! In a way, I truly doubt psilocybin would suddenly "take away all my problems:" make me suddenly "fit in" with everybody; fix my autistic behaviour; fix my depression/anxiety. At the end of the day, it's just a chemical and my body would learn tolerance to it; this shitty state I'm in right now is my "normal" I've come to realize. But if it did prove beneficial to me, it could buy me more time and take me on an exciting new adventure; the legalization of psilocybin and its potential market.

I was planning on CTB this weekend, but I'm really wondering if I should stick around just long enough for this dipshit kid to finally deliver on the shrooms and I can definitively know for sure. Man, this kid is REALLY pissing me off. I don't wanna stick around any longer than I need to. I was planning on microdosing on shrooms first and if I even feel the slightest bit of anxiety/mind-fuckery, I plan on CTBing the oncoming weekend. Damn, it's so frustrating. It's like these motherfuckers want me to stick around as long as possible. My life isn't actually TOO bad, but I have been in an accident before and have had real close calls after and if I were to get into ANOTHER accident, I just couldn't live with myself. I just feel like a ticking time bomb. I just feel THAT accident-prone.

Anyway, I'm not sure if all this made sense, but thanks for hearing me through. I'm actually a little drunk right now and hope I haven't rambled/talked too incoherently too much.

If you're in the US then you should be able to purchase something which metabolises into the active drug in mushrooms. However... You talk about being highly anxious and having deeper issues than depression, and having a negative reaction to cannabis. Psychedelics don't mix well with that type of temperament, just like cannabis doesn't. I can barely stand the anxiety from smoking weed, and psychedelics make me much more anxious (but deeper, with added physical discomfort). They're not for everyone, and I really wouldn't recommend it based on what you've said.

If you have your mind set on taking a drug, ketamine might help you see things differently without such a feeling of terror/discomfort (long-term high-dose use destroys your bladder though). You have described a temperament that I share, and I do not have good reactions to cannabis or psychedelics, nor do any people I know who are similar, although I enjoy ketamine. As you say, "it would again just exacerbate shitty feelings in me ", I think the chances of this are very high for either psychedelics or cannabis, in your case. It can always get worse... Psychedelics might make you so desperate that you do end your life, whereas there's very little chance of that with ket. Pretty sure some of that class are still legal as research chemicals in the US, and certainly on the darknet, so for example, microdosing on something like MXE or ketamine could help depression in someone like you.

 

[LuzurPhagget]

If you're in the US then you should be able to purchase something which metabolises into the active drug in mushrooms. However... You talk about being highly anxious and having deeper issues than depression, and having a negative reaction to cannabis. Psychedelics don't mix well with that type of temperament, just like cannabis doesn't. I can barely stand the anxiety from smoking weed, and psychedelics make me much more anxious (but deeper, with added physical discomfort). They're not for everyone, and I really wouldn't recommend it based on what you've said.

If you have your mind set on taking a drug, ketamine might help you see things differently without such a feeling of terror/discomfort (long-term high-dose use destroys your bladder though). You have described a temperament that I share, and I do not have good reactions to cannabis or psychedelics, nor do any people I know who are similar, although I enjoy ketamine. As you say, "it would again just exacerbate shitty feelings in me ", I think the chances of this are very high for either psychedelics or cannabis, in your case. It can always get worse... Psychedelics might make you so desperate that you do end your life, whereas there's very little chance of that with ket. Pretty sure some of that class are still legal as research chemicals in the US, and certainly on the darknet, so for example, microdosing on something like MXE or ketamine could help depression in someone like you.

Thanks for your candid response. Honestly, I am partly expecting not to have a good experience with shrooms, but I just feel like that would give me final closure. Shrooms is as far as I'm wanting/willing to go. I don't care about LSD, DMT, and even ketamine etc. I'm putting all my eggs in this basket because I'm just too tired to hopelessly keep searching. Call it pigheadness/laziness if you want :P Aha, can you imagine if getting high off of frickin moose urine is what would finally cure what's ailing me! But yeah, this would be my final resort, so to speak.

 

[SinisterKid]

I mainly did all kinds of drugs because I wanted to not feel anything. When I wanted to feel something, but in a alternate reality, shroomies were the go to substance. I sniffed anything and everything that could and did kill brain cells, that was oblivion. I never experienced oblivion with shrooms. But I have a period of about 3 years where the memories are "vague" at best. Shrooms were a part of that, but not the sole reason, just to be clear. I have only had good experiences with shrooms but then I did not know anything about mental ill health then. Depression was something that affected middle aged, middle class people, not someone like me.

 

[LuzurPhagget]

Argh!!! Still hasn't delievered on the goods! That fucking little punk!!

 

[LuzurPhagget]

I guess that's that.

I actually managed to order some shrooms online about a week ago and they came in just yesterday. No dark web, no shady dealings. Just a site I found on google. One delivered from here in Ontario and another from BC. Wow, can't believe it was that easy. Didn't have to rely on this dipshit at all.

Anyway, tried a microdose of 0.2g and...it's pretty much like cannabis to me. Weird, introspective, anxiety-induced thoughts. Dementia-exacberating. Mind you, this is JUST a microdose and I know I'm feeling just a fraction of what I would on a regular dose. I can't imagine how terrifying that is and don't want to even try it.

Anyway, I really wished this would have helped me. It's cool to know this stuff will all be legalized in a couple years. All the markets that will open up and the therapeutic benefits gained for numerous people. I unfortunately won't be one of them. Oh well.

 

[arelia]

I guess that's that.

I actually managed to order some shrooms online about a week ago and they came in just yesterday. No dark web, no shady dealings. Just a site I found on google. One delivered from here in Ontario and another from BC. Wow, can't believe it was that easy. Didn't have to rely on this dipshit at all.

Anyway, tried a microdose of 0.2g and...it's pretty much like cannabis to me. Weird, introspective, anxiety-induced thoughts. Dementia-exacberating. Mind you, this is JUST a microdose and I know I'm feeling just a fraction of what I would on a regular dose. I can't imagine how terrifying that is and don't want to even try it.

Anyway, I really wished this would have helped me. It's cool to know this stuff will all be legalized in a couple years. All the markets that will open up and the therapeutic benefits gained for numerous people. I unfortunately won't be one of them. Oh well.

I don't know if microdosing works in this situation. I know that if I take too large a dose I have an interesting time (my body tries to turn boneless, amongst other things) but I also know that a decent dose will resets me and lasts for a couple of months.
Each level of dosage brings a different set of behaviours, so you might not have hit the right dosage for you. There's a list somewhere out on the web on one of the psychedelic forums that might be worth a looksee.
The other thing to remember is that during your trip your mind is processing stuff - a bit like defragging a hard drive. It might be uncomfortable but going with the flow and letting it get on with it until it cracks the issue is the easiest way.

 

[LuzurPhagget]

I could only think of one person I would ever try a macrodose with...and she basically told me to gtfo and she's not a "professional" and to look for help somewhere else. But she did wish me good luck!

And if I did try a macrodose, in my drug-induced confusion, I'd probably end up confessing my suicidal tendencies and being sent to the ER and have to go to the nuthouse. And a year later, I'll still be thinking of offing myself.

Honestly, I just don't think my brain is properly wired to enjoy life. I'm just a freak. Not interested in anything anymore. No more pipedreams for me. No more false hopes. I'm tired and ready to go.