Busticket
Student
- May 18, 2021
- 185
If you read my last few threads you know that one of the reasons I want to ctb is because I didn't manage to get that Australian girl.
What happened, is that in 2017 I lived in Brisbane Australia.
I met that girl through plentofish.
And at the first meeting, we walked in the park there for an hour talking, then she suggested to buy alcohol and go up to my apartment.
We sat in the bed and talked and drank alcohol.
And after an hour she said she is leaving.
In hindsight she probably wanted sex but I was too paralyzed from shyness to make it happen.
The next time it was Australia Day and we met at the public pool.
Inside the pool she tried to bring me closer with her legs a few times and I backed off each time.
Again, paralyzed from shyness.
After that time she ghosted me.
I will never know for sure why she decided to ghost me.
But my assumption of the whole saga is that she waa either offended or felt put off by my shyness and that is why she decided to call it quits and ghosted me ultimately.
And eversince I have been beating myself up and regretting not "making a move" on her in those moments.
But you know what?
I forgive myself.
It's not my fault.
I was born shy , especially with girls and in those moments the virus of shyness spread through my body in full force and paralyzed me and prevented me from touching/kissing her and starting sex.
There was nothing I could have done.
Shyness is a disease, a virus of the mind that cripples you and disables you in everything you do.
So I forgive myself.
Maybe in the next life I will not be born shy and when such opportunity will arise that time I actually will touch and kiss the girl.
What happened, is that in 2017 I lived in Brisbane Australia.
I met that girl through plentofish.
And at the first meeting, we walked in the park there for an hour talking, then she suggested to buy alcohol and go up to my apartment.
We sat in the bed and talked and drank alcohol.
And after an hour she said she is leaving.
In hindsight she probably wanted sex but I was too paralyzed from shyness to make it happen.
The next time it was Australia Day and we met at the public pool.
Inside the pool she tried to bring me closer with her legs a few times and I backed off each time.
Again, paralyzed from shyness.
After that time she ghosted me.
I will never know for sure why she decided to ghost me.
But my assumption of the whole saga is that she waa either offended or felt put off by my shyness and that is why she decided to call it quits and ghosted me ultimately.
And eversince I have been beating myself up and regretting not "making a move" on her in those moments.
But you know what?
I forgive myself.
It's not my fault.
I was born shy , especially with girls and in those moments the virus of shyness spread through my body in full force and paralyzed me and prevented me from touching/kissing her and starting sex.
There was nothing I could have done.
Shyness is a disease, a virus of the mind that cripples you and disables you in everything you do.
So I forgive myself.
Maybe in the next life I will not be born shy and when such opportunity will arise that time I actually will touch and kiss the girl.