Venting "You just want your life to change" and then they don't set you up to get the changes you need

[bitofftoomuch]

like stfu, if I all I needed to change my life enough to want to live was a stupid pep talk I wouldn't be thinking about CTB'ing. i'm not an impulsive teenager. i'm an adult living in the margins of society who has tried again and again to find joy and reason to keep going, and thru bad luck and mistakes watched every door to that joy close. every day I try to think of ways to find it again and always realize there are obstacles to it that I cannot overcome alone, but that I also don't have anyone to help me overcome them.

"you gotta fix it yourself" well I can't. I don't know what to tell you. Many people cannot fix their situation and are only set up to get worse until someone else intervenes. I literally require dumb luck/generosity to get to where I need to be. You gonna help me get there or step aside?

I don't believe anyone is required to give me this level of help but I find it exhausting the way people try to just "help" the bare minimum; it gives me brief relief but ultimately just prolongs my suffering. I just get stuck in a cycle of constantly needing that temporary relief since no one has helped me build up a longer term version of it. I have to choose between being a constant burden or just hating every second of existence. That's not a real solution. I need to be well enough to actually fix shit and that requires greater intervention. If I can't have that, just let me die lol; idrc if that sounds spoiled or whatever it's just the truth.

 

[SecretDissociation]

I get this so much for the past year I've been with the mental health community trying to recover and at the moment the psychiatrist is asking me is there anything that can change or could be changed that would make you happier or better and I just don't understand that question. It might not be exactly the same as your experience, but what is the point of asking for changes or trying to think of changes that can make life better if it isn't going to happen.

Changing things in my life isn't going to help. It's all temporary and they don't get how hard it is to find reasons to live.

It's so difficult. It doesn't sound spoiled, it's a reality that typical people don't understand.