You ever just feel different?

[Moonstruck]

I feel way different than other people. I remember wanting to die as a little girl, as young as 6, to escape my life. I thought that this was normal for a very long time. I truly thought everybody just wanted to die.

I spend a lot of time wondering what everyone else is doing and what I should be doing. Even if a "normal" life event happens for me, the outcome is never normal or expected. Trauma follows me like it's my gdamn shadow. It's been a rough few weeks. I've been crying at EVERYTHING.Today I saw a photo of someone smiling and cried. Yep, it's one of those days.

 

[MysticPerception]

I feel like that's a pretty average consensus for this site. Most people here probably feel different and feel like everything in life is just one trauma to the next. At least here you're surrounded by like minded people. Almost everyone here wants to just die.

 

[Suicide_vampire]

I feel way different than other people. I remember wanting to die as a little girl, as young as 6, to escape my life. I thought that this was normal for a very long time. I truly thought everybody just wanted to die.

I spend a lot of time wondering what everyone else is doing and what I should be doing. Even if a "normal" life event happens for me, the outcome is never normal or expected. Trauma follows me like it's my gdamn shadow. It's been a rough few weeks. I've been crying at EVERYTHING.Today I saw a photo of someone smiling and cried. Yep, it's one of those days.

Hi there, I totally get what you are saying. I started to self harm when I was 4 years old. I would drag my fingernails down myself until I either bled or raised huge welts. I never felt like I belonged either.
Still don't, I also feel like I have a dark shadow hanging over me, nothing ever seems to work out.
Also having a bad day, so you are not alone.

 

[HighwayToHell]

I'm starting to think curses are real.
I mean how else do you explain someone wanting harm done to you because theirs just "something about you"?
I had that said to me once o_O

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Some people are born depressed, some people achieve depression and some people have depression thrust upon them.
Apologies, I like to bastardize clichéd quotes.
Some people will have some really bad shit happen to them and come out smiling. Some will come out broken. Some will live blessed lives and still be horribly depressed.
It's a combination of how we are made and how that determines our attitude to what happens to us.
I never knew what it was to feel normal and positive until the prozac kicked in back in97. I couldn't believe that everyone else had it so easy. But it pooped out and wore off and back comes the struggle. Always the struggle. I hear you.

 

[Swedish Equality]

I'm repressed by people who make the laws, another governmental dogs who have the right to decide what to do with your live and other people who silently ignoring everything while they lives are good enough. Sometimes i want to live as another people , but i can't. And soon they will make it even worse... My future death is more like a murder than suicide. Sorry for my English

 

[S1mpleme]

I feel way different than other people. I remember wanting to die as a little girl, as young as 6, to escape my life. I thought that this was normal for a very long time. I truly thought everybody just wanted to die.

I spend a lot of time wondering what everyone else is doing and what I should be doing. Even if a "normal" life event happens for me, the outcome is never normal or expected. Trauma follows me like it's my gdamn shadow. It's been a rough few weeks. I've been crying at EVERYTHING.Today I saw a photo of someone smiling and cried. Yep, it's one of those days.

I think about my past and understand that I always been lonely and obviously unhappy. All the time I make my self an illusion that my life is different than it actually is. I always only dream about my life but not living. I feel like I'm in a cage and can just see people, this world through a window. Everytime I see family together buying a Christmas tree, or couples, or just anything about happiness I want to cry. You would say that I hate when someone's happy, but it just hurts when I see someone's happy cause reminds me how empty I am inside.

 

[Moonstruck]

Hi there, I totally get what you are saying. I started to self harm when I was 4 years old. I would drag my fingernails down myself until I either bled or raised huge welts. I never felt like I belonged either.
Still don't, I also feel like I have a dark shadow hanging over me, nothing ever seems to work out.
Also having a bad day, so you are not alone.

I remember self harming similar to this when I was young. Ugh. Yes today has been rough. Thanks for replying!

I'm starting to think curses are real.
I mean how else do you explain someone wanting harm done to you because theirs just "something about you"?
I had that said to me once o_O

Wow that's crazy. And so, so wrong!

Some people are born depressed, some people achieve depression and some people have depression thrust upon them.
Apologies, I like to bastardize clichéd quotes.
Some people will have some really bad shit happen to them and come out smiling. Some will come out broken. Some will live blessed lives and still be horribly depressed.
It's a combination of how we are made and how that determines our attitude to what happens to us.
I never knew what it was to feel normal and positive until the prozac kicked in back in97. I couldn't believe that everyone else had it so easy. But it pooped out and wore off and back comes the struggle. Always the struggle. I hear you.

Yeah I don't even take my medication most of the time because...I guess I feel like there's no point most days? Medicine can't fix my messed up life. I spend so much time wishing I was someone else.

I think about my past and understand that I always been lonely and obviously unhappy. All the time I make my self an illusion that my life is different than it actually is. I always only dream about my life but not living. I feel like I'm in a cage and can just see people, this world through a window. Everytime I see family together buying a Christmas tree, or couples, or just anything about happiness I want to cry. You would say that I hate when someone's happy, but it just hurts when I see someone's happy cause reminds me how empty I am inside.

I feel this so much. I look at other people's Christmas photos or something and I'm like "wow I'm doing everything wrong."

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Being different from the average member of this species isn't necessarily a bad thing

 

[PaYo]

THERE IS NO NORMAL LIFE! EVERYBODY FEELS DIFFERENT. EVERYBODY THINKS THAT THEY ARE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE. well not every but majority. EVERY ONE THINKS THEY SPECIAL. THERE IS NO NORMAL. YOU KNOW WHAT IS NORMAL? NORMAL IS FEELING DIFFRENT. AND EVERY ONE HAVE SICK THOUGHTS. SOME PEOPLE BELIVE THAT THEY ARE DIFFRENT SEX. SOME WANT TO DIE BY JUMPING INTO VOLCANO. like me. AND OTHER ROLL IN BLANKET AND WANTS TO BE RAPED BY H7SBAND WHILE BEHAVING LIKE A CAT. THERE IS NO NORMAL.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

THERE IS NO NORMAL LIFE! EVERYBODY FEELS DIFFERENT. EVERYBODY THINKS THAT THEY ARE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE. well not every but majority. EVERY ONE THINKS THEY SPECIAL. THERE IS NO NORMAL. YOU KNOW WHAT IS NORMAL? NORMAL IS FEELING DIFFRENT. AND EVERY ONE HAVE SICK THOUGHTS. SOME PEOPLE BELIVE THAT THEY ARE DIFFRENT SEX. SOME WANT TO DIE BY JUMPING INTO VOLCANO. like me. AND OTHER ROLL IN BLANKET AND WANTS TO BE RAPED BY H7SBAND WHILE BEHAVING LIKE A CAT. THERE IS NO NORMAL.

love it 10/10

 

[PaYo]

Thank you. Normal exist just in you head as a generalisation of society. But society doest not exist. Just ordinary simple people each diffrent from another.
Ill tsll you more. If you will kill yourself becaouse of that thought you have. You will be perfectly normal as others. And thats make me sad. Becaouse you will be boring like everybody else